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  • summerleetime
    Junior Member
    • Jun 2013
    • 4

    Not sure why I haven't bled..am I supposed to?

    Okay, so I'll start with a little info about myself. I'm a female, 17 years old. Me and my boyfriend of 2 years had sex a few months ago (April) for the first time. I wear and had worn tampons previous to that night. I've never visited a gynecologist, although I plan to start sometime this year.

    After we had sex, I was expecting to bleed, because how I understand it, it's normal and supposed to happen when the hymen is broken. Of course, it was painful, and the almost unbearable pinching at the first penetration made me think, "oh, well there's going to be blood for sure. That was terrible." (Don't get me wrong enjoyable after.) Anyways, afterwards I realized that I hadn't bled, and I think he was feeling embarassed, like he hadn't "accomplished" anything. (This is what I gathered from the look on his face after the supposed time of his realization...)

    We've had sex on multiple occasions since then, and I think that he forgot about the bleeding situation. Now, thinking about it again, I'm wondering if it's normal. I don't want to address it with him, in fear of him feeling insufficient, or insecure about his "manhood". Does this necessarily mean that he's small? He's about, 6.5 - 7 inches. If it doesn't mean that he's necessarily smaller in that region, does it mean that I'm not normal, in some way?

    Even if we're both fine and it's normal, I believe that he's still going to feel insufficient. We haven't talked about it since that night, but his mind must beg the question at some points, right? It's going to come out someday, "oh yeah..you never bled..." How do I let him know that it's not his "fault"? I feel I might make the situation awkward or hurtful.

    I may be overthinking some of these things to a degree. I just wanted some input. If anyone could answer even one of these it'd be helpful. (:
  • labradors675
    Junior Member
    • Jun 2013
    • 3

    Oh gosh, me being a virgin, i was hoping the first time wouldn't be THAT painful. Oh well. But to answer your question, not every girl bleeds when her hymen is broken. It can depend on the shape (yes there are shapes); it can be like a covering with little holes, one big hole in the center, a covering with a little slit in the center. Don't worry, you're perfectly fine. If anything, your kinda lucky. I don't really like the idea of bleeding from the pain during sex, but that's just me.

    Comment

    • jns
      Assistant Admin
      • Mar 2010
      • 8398

      labradors675 has given you a good answer. Your bf is longer than average. Many guys are insecure about their length, even if they are longer than most. This is probably driven by comparison to porn actors. Kind of like feeling inadequate when viewing a sporting event because the athletes are more capable at their sports.
      I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
      ...
      Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

      From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

      Comment

      • summerleetime
        Junior Member
        • Jun 2013
        • 4

        I didnt know there were shapes..thats odd. But its good to hear that theres nothing wrong.(:

        So, if he ever brings it up, I should just tell him what you guys said?

        Comment

        • summerleetime
          Junior Member
          • Jun 2013
          • 4

          Ope sorry I'm new to this. I reply here?

          Anyways I didn't know there were different shapes...that's odd. But its good to hear that there's nothing wrong (:

          So if he ever brings it up, I should just tell him what you guys said?

          Comment

          • labradors675
            Junior Member
            • Jun 2013
            • 3

            Yea, tell him that

            At 17, or around that age, when guys talk about taking their girl's virginity, they're usually like "OH MAN AHAHA YEA MAN I TOTALLY MADE HER BLEED MAN" and of course, peer pressure and all, he figures if he DOESN'T make you bleed, he's doing something wrong.

            Comment

            • summerleetime
              Junior Member
              • Jun 2013
              • 4

              Okay. (: thanks for your help.

              Comment

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