[sfjc5311]

I have been with my fiance for about 10 years and we are very happy. But sometimes, when we make love, I tend to get a little too loud during sex. I can't help it at all! When we make love, I just feel so good that I just moan so loud and want him to know he's doing a great job in pleasing me.

He says I am too loud and is worried about waking up our two year old. But what can I do? I can't help it. I've always been like this. When we were dating during high school, I would have to bury my face in the bed or pillow or bit him or bit my lip really hard to make sure his parents or my parents didn't find out what we were doing.

He says he LOVES to hear me moan, but complains about it. Is that normal? I am confused. I am 27 years old and he is 29. He is all I know and vice versa. I don't know if this is normal behavior for woman. But I feel that being able to express how my fiance makes me feel is important.

I guess he is nervous about what our neighbors think and about our son? Or that he is still used to hiding it like we did when we first starting dating back in high school. (He is my high school sweet heart.)

I just don't know what to do or if I am doing something wrong. Someone please help me! Thanks!

[sfjc5311]

Anyone?

[EricNYU]

You're not doing anything wrong. Can you guys get some background/white noise going? Like turn on a fan or music low? You know to drown out some of it. With all respect, I think he needs to relax a little.

[jns]

Try masking your moans with music. The music doesn't have to be as loud as the moans.

[sfjc5311]

Thank you! I just don't get it....he tells me it turns him on, yet he says "shhh" sometimes...and we have a fan on all the time so I don't know what his desk is...my best friend tells me that my husband needs to lighten up and enjoy a woman who doesn't fake orgasms and enjoys being made loved to by him....thanks for your help...I feel better now

[CoolBreeze]

Just relax, I can tell you it's normal. You both have a healthy physical and emotional relationship. The suggestion by Jns about using music is good. I feel that your partner is too concerned about what others might think. If you live in quarters where your voice cannot be confined try changing your bed post position to another wall and use a painting or curtains on the other wall which act as good acoustic absorbers.
However, you should gently alleviate your partner's concerns, by telling him there is no harm if others find out how good he is at pleasing his lady

[Ashlee T.]

I guess because of the potential for waking your son up, it's hard for him to relax if you're being really loud. And even though he loves making you moan, it probably just makes it a bit harder for him to concentrate and really focus on the moment because he's worried about the child, the neighbors, etc.

I am at times also very vocal... but I do have the capability to tone that back a bit when I want to. It doesn't mean I'm totally silent, but perhaps a bit quieter. Perhaps you could give that a go?

[sweetkitty]

Oh, mixed signals can be rough. It sounds like he's a little mixed on it too though. It turns him on, but at the same time he may be inhibited by neighbors, your son, etc. I think you're right on about that. That shows he is a sweet, considerate guy. I know exactly what you mean though--it can be really tough to keep quiet. Here's a few tips:

1. You mentioned muffling your moans back in high school. To this day, I still reach for a pillow when I need it. Something about trying to be as quiet as possible is a turn-on as much as a challenge. Think about how hot it was having to sneak around all those years ago! You may not always succeed, but he'll appreciate you trying your best (and he'll still feel really pleased with himself when you simply can't contain yourself).

2. It may not be your style, but using a scarf tied (gently) around your mouth can be pretty sexy. In the same way, try kissing him when you feel like you're about to lose it. Guys tend to like when you moan in their mouth, and it builds a great connection while dampening the noise.

3. Nothing feels better than total release, so think about planning little hotel getaways or nights when your son can stay with a sitter so you can be your loud, expressive self. Sometimes you just need to go all out!

Good luck!

[HisGirl]

Awesome advice sweetkitty! I'd love to try the second one!