[scootyloot]

Hi everybody,
I've seen a few threads on this topic around but its not quite the same as my situation.
My boyfriend and I are together 4 years, not living together, so we would go to each others houses for a couple days.
But the other day I noticed we hadnt had sex for..um..nearly or over a month. This is unusual for us..we usually have sex maybe once or twice when either of us come over to each others houses.
Now he's busy working most days, and i go to college so..we love having the time to spend with eachother when we can. But since summer has arrived..we've had like 0 sex at all.
He said once that he likes just spending time with me and that "we dont have to have sex all the time" ... im getting very anxious.. i asked him if he finds me attractive.. he said yes of course. But he's avoiding having showers together. He looks away when we get dressed or undressed in the same room.
I'm ..getting pretty worried..we're due to go away on vacation together later this month..im really hoping this stops because I don't need this extra thing to worry about.. is he seeing someone else? Am i just repulsive to look at? Is our sex that bad?..


:[ what on earth is going on? He's usually quite frisky. There has been instances where he would um.. suggest sex, like its been quite hot where i am. And we find ourselves in our undies a lot in front of the fan. He has done the same things he would when about to initiate sex with me, but then he stops and does something else? I'm now a bit scared to initiate it myself.. (im very shy, i would very rarely initiate it myself because im scared of a lot of things..like rejection or being laughed at or just being plain really bad at what im trying to do for him) So im confused. Is he trying to make me start things? He's being more caring lately too..which is freaking me out..i mean its nice that hes holding my hand a lot more, and stroking my fingers and stuff like that but.. it just doesnt feel the same? He hugs me a lot too. I just dont feel pretty anymore..i have self confidence issues along with many other things but ..this is really worrying me. Sex is an important part of a relationship..and its not like we had a crap ton of sex before this right? I mean it was an alright amount..not over the top and not too little..

Agh! I have no idea whats going on..maybe an outsiders perspective will help me? What do you guys think? :[

[scootyloot]

I guess i should mention that I have had little to no sex drive my entire life. I find him attractive but the reason i never or very rarely initate sex is because im just not thinking about it.
I've wondered if something is wrong with me, i mean..i do masturbate but not very often and sometimes i go for months without initiating sex with him, and then suddenly i do and im super horny and then nothing for a long time after that. I am concerned about my lack of sex drive really.. but I have no idea if it just who I am or if there is something wrong with me.
I'm a more horny drunk to be honest.

[Obelisk]

If he always has to initiate it, maybe he feels that you're not interested and only doing it as a favor to him. Maybe he's feeling tired of it being that way? Why don't you ask him?

[scootyloot]

If he always has to initiate it, maybe he feels that you're not interested and only doing it as a favor to him. Maybe he's feeling tired of it being that way? Why don't you ask him?

Yeah.. I'm just really scared of starting? I'm scared that if i start and he wants me to just take control, I wont even know what to do.
I've had 4 years of experience and I still know nothing of what I like. Most of the things we do or what he does for me feels all the same really.
I dont know what in particular pleases me. I feel like if I ask him whats up he'll just give me that stupid "we dont need to have sex all the time" thing again.

I'm scared of being in the spot light. And I always have, I go blank and all i get is "i dont know".