Hello Everyone, I am new in this website, I am 31 year old women and my boyfriend is going to be 26 year old in this coming November. We are in love for last one year and we can not leave each other as we have tried many times to leave each other but after some days we felt it is impossible .The main reason for deciding leaving each other is that age difference and I have very low sexual desire, I had poly cyst ovarian operation ten years ago, I had hormonal problem too but though now hormonal problem is not much. I am very weak physically.I feel a very very deep mental attraction towards him and he is my first love, due to my all these physical problem I decided not to marry in my life, but at the end of my youth I fell in love with him. He insisting me to marry and I deep down inside want to be with him for the rest of my life but my brain says he will be unhappy in his sexual life with me.Is there any way to increase my sexual desire normal as 31 year old women?Do I need to take medicines? Do I need to take exercises?Special foods?Which solution is fast and sure? I feel once in a 7 or 8 days to have sexual intercourse with him though we have not done sexual intercourse but except the sexual intercourse we have oral sex and other for play part.I enjoy those but feel that not everyday as he want it everyday which is normal at our age I hope.
-
-
If you really love him, marry him. Sex is an important but small (timewise) part of marriage. As a woman you can be very accommodating to him without necessarily being aroused (though you can still find sex pleasurable). If you're able to feel aroused 1 day in seven you are hornier than average! Men are simple creatures and very easy to please sexually. Your love for him will be equally as attractive to him as your desire and you'll find 1,001 ways to please him. Life is short. GO FOR IT! -
Hold up. You want it one day a week and he wants it every day? That's a big mismatch that needs to get worked out before going ahead. Yeah love is great and all, but it doesn't always withstand one partner rejecting the other year after year.Comment
-
I agree. At some point, maybe 5 years, maybe 10, maybe twenty this will become an issue. If he is very highly sexual and say all you are interested in or can muster up only once a month the odds of him cheating at sometime down the road are increased. I would seek sexual counseling with a professional on this one. Sexual incompatibilities are huge part of marriage breakdowns. They create resentment, lost intimacy and communication issues which kill the relationship.Comment
-
Sometimes you can watch some po**n movies to boost your sexual desire up
Comment
-
Sorry,but I'm afraid I think that sex is a vitally important part of a relationship. You can find many discussions here on the misery of being with someone with a different level of interest in sex. The person with less interest feels pressured, feels that everything their partner does for them is an attempt to bribe them for more sex .The person with more interest feels that they are constantly being rejected and generally will wind up doing ANYTHING their partner wants in bed, while getting little in return. It is poison for a happy relationship.
You can try just doing what he wants, but it is very easy for that to start to feel abusive after a while.
BTW - wanting sex every week, or even every day is quite common for men and women. There is huge variation, but people should try to be in relationships that are matched in this way.
Comment
-
rcoreyus,
You are so right about the importance of a good sexual relationship to the health of a marriage. People ignore this at their own peril. I've learned that firsthand. In my experience communication follows the path of the sex life. As the sex life diminishes so does the level of intimacy, and therefore, communication also breaks down. This communication breakdown ultimately leads to a profound feeling of loneliness even when you and your spouse are laying in the same bed or sitting in the same room.
The person with the higher sex drive may begin to see it as a problem with their abilities as a lover. Or that their spouse simply no longer wants them at all. Or that they are just being selfish. The person with the lower sex drive feels guilty whether they do it as fulfillment of husbandly/wifely "duties" or not. Every encounter ends in sadness or a fight because both parties have convinced themselves that his/her own point of view is the only correct one. And that the other party is just refusing to see reason.Comment
or
Get The Newsletter
Join our weekly newsletter and get the latest thought-provoking bold research and fearless conversations about sex - plus exclusive product giveaways - delivered to your inbox.
-
A balanced middle ground seems healthiest here. You can set a clear boundary without turning every disagreement into a fight. Calmly explaining how her...
-
Well, funny enough, I've talked to a few people about this, and we've all had a laugh that on social media and in certain circles, women are coming clean...
-
Reply to PCOS and unwanted hair growth
I had NO idea! But honestly, the new name makes so much more sense. I’ve always associated PCOS primarily with the reproductive side of things, so it’s...
-
Reply to PCOS and unwanted hair growth
BTW -- did you see that the renamed PCOS to PMOS?
Per online:
"Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) has been officially renamed... -
To me, there's a big difference between prioritizing your kids' needs and making your kids your entire emotional world. I've definitely seen situations...
-
Does anyone have any experience with PCOS and getting rid of unwanted facial hair? What started as one singular strand on my chin in my 20s has turned...
Comment