My boyfriend doesn't initiate sex/possibly doesn't want it?
Dear Readers,
This is my first time posting on this forum. I have noticed that some guys actually read some of the posts on here, if you are a guy and find yourself to be reading this, your opinions would be appreciated greatly.
I am 24 and my boyfriend is 26. We have been officially together for about 3 months now, but have been talking long distance for over a year before we met.
Our sex life is starting to go downhill, and at 3 months this is startng to scare me. He never seems to initiate sex. I know he is sexually attracted to me, I am his type and do some "modeling" which is how we met. You would think that he would be all over me because of this, but nope, not really. (Yep, pornstars can't get laid too!)
For what its worth I don't actually do hardcore porn, just have professional naked pictures taken of me, but enough with the formalities....
The first month I would say was great, but we just got our own place together and for the past month things have gotten a bit depressing. He hardly ever comes on to me. I am mainly the one initiating it, which is starting to make me frustrated and feel undesirable. I would say getting him to have sex with me is like pulling teeth. I am also the one doing over half the work here. I am always on top, and it is getting tiring up here.
Since we got our own place I have discovered that he likes to masturbate, A LOT. I have no problem with pornography, I understand that its nice to masturbate every now and then, but I am starting to feel not wanted. He used to constantly look at pictures of **** in front of me. Sometimes while we were out eating dinner. It was non-stop. I eventually told him that he was spending more time looking at pictures of **** on the internet then actually paying attention to mine and he did cut it out.
He jacks off to porn when I am sleeping. Sometimes I wake up and am not sure what to do. I feel both confused and aroused. I have tried stirring in bed, to hint that I am awake if he wants to make a move, or masturbating myself, but all that does is make him panic and look over his shoulder. The computer is right across from the bed and there is a mirror where I can see him. I have just resigned to watching him while I pretend to be asleep, and then falling asleep sexually frustrated. While I don't expect for him to come to me every time, it would be nice to be waken up by a horny partner every once in a while.
He also jacks off even after we've had sex, sometimes even chooses it over me. Example: The other day we had sex, later on that evening I offer to give him head. He rejects, but when I go to take a bath he runs over to the computer to jack off. I come out of the bathroom to get my brush before I hop in the tub, which was on the computer desk, and he starts hurrying to click out of the porn site that he was on. How hurried he was about getting to the computer once I got into the bathroom was slightly alarming. Also why would you turn down head, or not get into the bath with your girlfriend instead?
We have sex about 3 times a week, which I guess is a normal number of times, but I would like it to be more. I would say that he masturbates the same amount, if not more times in a week. Also the sex has gotten pretty sad. Its very to the point. There is no foreplay involved. My vagina is very tight and I don't understand how he just expects me to hop on top of him and make **** happen. Sometimes I have problems getting it in, again because I am very tight and there is no foreplay, but instead of doing anything real about this, he just says "get that big ****"... What?
The other day while I was doing laundry, I found cum stains on his work pants. I freaked out and felt REALLY awkward about mentioning this to him. I eventually broke down. I realized that I couldn't hold it inside anymore and talked to him about the cumpants. He admitted to jacking off at work. He told me what happened was we had sex earlier that day and he didn't get off. He told me that blue balls were a real thing and he had to relieve himself at work. To ensure that I felt better about this, he told me that he has only jacked off 3 times at work.
This is another problem that we have, sometimes he doesn't get off. I think this is due to his constant masturbation (the other night he shot what has to be the most pathetic load in ejaculation history). He has told me that sex doesn't really do it for him because he is circumcised and doesn't really feel anything. That it is just easier for him to masturbate, but we have never had this problem until we got our own place together.
The other night we had what has to be the most depressing sexual experience of my life. He laid down on the bed next to me and just started jacking off. I looked at him and said "touch me". All he did was grab my boob with the other hand! I had tried taking his hand off his **** and moving it between my legs several times but he refused to let go! Eventually I was like "touch my *****! I want to be teased". In response to this, he got on top of me and thrust it in me for all of 1 minute, then got off of me and went back to masturbating! I got frustrated and just went to bed. I was falling asleep and he was still laying there jacking off. Then he came on my ****, went to get me a towel to clean up with, did a half-assed job of cleaning it up and just threw the towel on the bed. What the **** is this ****?!?!
I have talked to him about this several times. Each time I seem to get no where and he just gives me a bunch of lame excuses such as this time of year depresses him, he's just been getting lazy, and he's circumcised. Though I don't really think there is a bad season for sex or one should get lazy after only 3 months. Also, everyone who I've been with has been circumcised and I've never come across this problem.
He also told me that he masturbates all the time, even after sex, because he has a high sex drive. Though this doesn't seem to be a high sex drive to me. A high masturbation drive maybe.
Everything else about our relationship is great! We get along really well and I think make eachother happy. I've met his family and close friends. We've talked about starting a business together in the future. Every time he talks about the future, I'm in it. He hasn't told me that he loves me yet, but shows it. He has told me that he really cares about me and that I'm special. So what's going on here?
I'm naked all the time at home. I'm going to try to dress more sexy around the house, but I'm not sure what else I can do. How can I make him really passionate towards me? How can I get him to initiate sex more? To want to tear off my clothes and **** me like we're about to die? Are my expectations too high?
Any help/opinions would be appreciated. Thanks in advance!
This is my first time posting on this forum. I have noticed that some guys actually read some of the posts on here, if you are a guy and find yourself to be reading this, your opinions would be appreciated greatly.
I am 24 and my boyfriend is 26. We have been officially together for about 3 months now, but have been talking long distance for over a year before we met.
Our sex life is starting to go downhill, and at 3 months this is startng to scare me. He never seems to initiate sex. I know he is sexually attracted to me, I am his type and do some "modeling" which is how we met. You would think that he would be all over me because of this, but nope, not really. (Yep, pornstars can't get laid too!)
For what its worth I don't actually do hardcore porn, just have professional naked pictures taken of me, but enough with the formalities....
The first month I would say was great, but we just got our own place together and for the past month things have gotten a bit depressing. He hardly ever comes on to me. I am mainly the one initiating it, which is starting to make me frustrated and feel undesirable. I would say getting him to have sex with me is like pulling teeth. I am also the one doing over half the work here. I am always on top, and it is getting tiring up here.
Since we got our own place I have discovered that he likes to masturbate, A LOT. I have no problem with pornography, I understand that its nice to masturbate every now and then, but I am starting to feel not wanted. He used to constantly look at pictures of **** in front of me. Sometimes while we were out eating dinner. It was non-stop. I eventually told him that he was spending more time looking at pictures of **** on the internet then actually paying attention to mine and he did cut it out.
He jacks off to porn when I am sleeping. Sometimes I wake up and am not sure what to do. I feel both confused and aroused. I have tried stirring in bed, to hint that I am awake if he wants to make a move, or masturbating myself, but all that does is make him panic and look over his shoulder. The computer is right across from the bed and there is a mirror where I can see him. I have just resigned to watching him while I pretend to be asleep, and then falling asleep sexually frustrated. While I don't expect for him to come to me every time, it would be nice to be waken up by a horny partner every once in a while.
He also jacks off even after we've had sex, sometimes even chooses it over me. Example: The other day we had sex, later on that evening I offer to give him head. He rejects, but when I go to take a bath he runs over to the computer to jack off. I come out of the bathroom to get my brush before I hop in the tub, which was on the computer desk, and he starts hurrying to click out of the porn site that he was on. How hurried he was about getting to the computer once I got into the bathroom was slightly alarming. Also why would you turn down head, or not get into the bath with your girlfriend instead?
We have sex about 3 times a week, which I guess is a normal number of times, but I would like it to be more. I would say that he masturbates the same amount, if not more times in a week. Also the sex has gotten pretty sad. Its very to the point. There is no foreplay involved. My vagina is very tight and I don't understand how he just expects me to hop on top of him and make **** happen. Sometimes I have problems getting it in, again because I am very tight and there is no foreplay, but instead of doing anything real about this, he just says "get that big ****"... What?
The other day while I was doing laundry, I found cum stains on his work pants. I freaked out and felt REALLY awkward about mentioning this to him. I eventually broke down. I realized that I couldn't hold it inside anymore and talked to him about the cumpants. He admitted to jacking off at work. He told me what happened was we had sex earlier that day and he didn't get off. He told me that blue balls were a real thing and he had to relieve himself at work. To ensure that I felt better about this, he told me that he has only jacked off 3 times at work.
This is another problem that we have, sometimes he doesn't get off. I think this is due to his constant masturbation (the other night he shot what has to be the most pathetic load in ejaculation history). He has told me that sex doesn't really do it for him because he is circumcised and doesn't really feel anything. That it is just easier for him to masturbate, but we have never had this problem until we got our own place together.
The other night we had what has to be the most depressing sexual experience of my life. He laid down on the bed next to me and just started jacking off. I looked at him and said "touch me". All he did was grab my boob with the other hand! I had tried taking his hand off his **** and moving it between my legs several times but he refused to let go! Eventually I was like "touch my *****! I want to be teased". In response to this, he got on top of me and thrust it in me for all of 1 minute, then got off of me and went back to masturbating! I got frustrated and just went to bed. I was falling asleep and he was still laying there jacking off. Then he came on my ****, went to get me a towel to clean up with, did a half-assed job of cleaning it up and just threw the towel on the bed. What the **** is this ****?!?!
I have talked to him about this several times. Each time I seem to get no where and he just gives me a bunch of lame excuses such as this time of year depresses him, he's just been getting lazy, and he's circumcised. Though I don't really think there is a bad season for sex or one should get lazy after only 3 months. Also, everyone who I've been with has been circumcised and I've never come across this problem.
He also told me that he masturbates all the time, even after sex, because he has a high sex drive. Though this doesn't seem to be a high sex drive to me. A high masturbation drive maybe.
Everything else about our relationship is great! We get along really well and I think make eachother happy. I've met his family and close friends. We've talked about starting a business together in the future. Every time he talks about the future, I'm in it. He hasn't told me that he loves me yet, but shows it. He has told me that he really cares about me and that I'm special. So what's going on here?
I'm naked all the time at home. I'm going to try to dress more sexy around the house, but I'm not sure what else I can do. How can I make him really passionate towards me? How can I get him to initiate sex more? To want to tear off my clothes and **** me like we're about to die? Are my expectations too high?
Any help/opinions would be appreciated. Thanks in advance!
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