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  • apparantlyso
    Junior Member
    • May 2011
    • 5

    going down on my girlfriend

    Hi,
    I've recently started dating a woman (about 2 months now) and the sex is amazing. Though she doesn't like receiving oral sex. The problem is, I love it and could go down on her for hours. How should I go about "changing" her mind?
  • m4nc3r
    Junior Member
    • Dec 2013
    • 3

    You can't, and you shouldn't.

    You can ask her why she doesn't like it. If it's that it doesn't feel good or it grosses her out maybe you can talk and see if there is any middle ground (like kissing her pelvic bone, licking her thighs etc) but either way if she doesn't like it don't force it it will make her feel much worse.

    I never used to like it cause I felt self conscious about having larger labia and cause I felt a need to "perform" if he went down on me.
    But while I was pregnant earlier this year I suddenly found my libido raised 10x which has continued since giving birth and I decided to just let go he's seen me give birth twice what was I worried about? lmao. It's amazing haha

    That was my decision though. She has to make it, there is little you can do to help but try to figure out if she doesn't like it, or she just feels awkward about it which is something you can work on together through other sensual touching and playing.

    Comment

    • jns
      Assistant Admin
      • Mar 2010
      • 8398

      There are women who like getting oral sex. There are women who don't like getting oral sex. There are women who think they don't like getting oral sex until a later time when they realize it is OK or even great. Finally, there are women who never have thought very much about getting oral sex.

      There are many reasons that women may be against getting oral. Some think that that part of their body is always unclean. Some think that getting oral is against their religion or moral belief system. Some think that their vagina and vulva are unsightly. Some don't want to lose control during orgasm. There are a myriad of other reasons.

      Your new lover has a right to her body, so when she says no to getting oral sex, that is what the rule is.

      Just because you cannot give her oral doesn't mean that you cannot find out why she is dead set against it. Talking through the situation should give you insight on why.

      A question: do you believe you are good at giving oral sex and would be able to bring her to orgasm? What is your basis for your answer?
      I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
      ...
      Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

      From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

      Comment

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