[Shy Newcomer]

Hello, um, I'm new to the love scene, relatively....

I am 21 and pansexual. That being said for my age and orientation.... I have almost no experience with sex. A lot of things that happened to me growing up have made me very well...shy on the topic. I still don't know my body very well yet. I know what my attractions are, still trying to work out my fetishes.

I've been with one person for 3 years. during the summer, we broke it off, after all the misery built up. I didn't really learn much....and never really ever came at all. And yes, never. Not once in my life.

Um...I know this sweet guy and he seems to adore everything about me. He's kind and honest, and on top of that, he seems to have a fixation with my ***, which he says is heart shaped. I developed an idea, and looked online, and I realized that I seem to like assplay? I'm not entirely sure yet but...I am sensitive down there, yes.

This is also a little akward because he has only been with one girl, and he has no wisdom either..... When we started dating, we resolved to be completely open with each other, and we don't have any secrets. I have known him for 8 years online, as a friend, before meeting him in real life, so I trust him a lot, and vice versa. But neither of us knows what we like yet, and we still live far apart for now.

I just am at that stage when I'm experimenting with things. I also discovered that bondage looks really attractive to me. Not sure if I'm submissive or dominant yet though...

[rcoreyus]

Experimenting is fine. A few things:

If you play with bondage:
1) always have a "safe word". Something that the person who is tied up can say to end the game if they aren't enjoying what is going on. Classic is "RED" means stop immediately, the games is over. "Yellow" means stop doing the thing you are doing right now, but we can keep playing.

2). Always have a way to cut the person loose. Never tie around the neck. Never try to suspend someone in bondage unless you really really know what you are doing - you can cut off circulation and cause severe damage.

Don't be fooled by bondage porn movies - a lot of them are done with special effects. That said, you can get some ideas from bondage porn.

If you start this sort of play you need to talk to your partner and make sure you both understand how you want this to go. If you just want to be thrown on the bed for rough sex, and he thinks you want to be slapped around and called a "dirty *****", things won't go well.

There can be more subtle issues as well. I think bondage / bdsm play is fun - and part of the fun is the victim finally submitting to the wishes of the top. A friend of mine told me that she likes the idea of resisting whatever is done to her. These are very different games - is the idea to escalate until the "bottom" submits, or let them resist successfully?

All that said - if you are sexually inexperienced, you might want to spend more time with more traditional sexual activities before trying exotic things.

Always remember that the point is to have fun, so if you aren't enjoying what you are doing, stop.

[Shy Newcomer]

*rcoreyus

Experimenting is fine. A few things:

All that said - if you are sexually inexperienced, you might want to spend more time with more traditional sexual activities before trying exotic things.

Always remember that the point is to have fun, so if you aren't enjoying what you are doing, stop.

Ahh. Ok. Not sure yet which it is yet on the bondage.... I will ask him about it. Thank you for your advice, I needed the input! n ______ n

[jen1447]

What exactly do you want to know about the anal stuff?

[Shy Newcomer]

Um, what exactly do I do? I have zero experience, all I know so far is that i am sensitive down there... and if its an area of my body that can be pleasurable, I'm willing to try. :/

[jen1447]

In that case hon, just do a search for "anal" here in the Sex forum ....there's tons of posts about it, and I've written long ones about all the ins and outs myself. Then come back here and ask about anything you have questions on.

[rcoreyus]

Advice on anal.
Be careful never to go from anal to vaginal sex, can get nasty infections. Penis, fingers, toys should be washed in between.

Lots and lots of lube, and then more. Go slowly. Start with fingers, small toys, work your way up if you want. Get a picture that shows a persons internal anatomy so you have an idea of how your insides are arranged around there.

[Shy Newcomer]

Ok, I will,thank you!

[Shy Newcomer]

o____o !

(Writes that all down)

Thanks for the help! n ______ n