[rachelbeavers1992]

Okay so...I have always had this issue in my head and honestly just want some advice on if I have ever reached that "ultimate peak" during sex. Some background information-i lost my virginity when I was 16(im now 21) unwillingly, and after that i kind of just didnt care anymore about myself for awhile and had sex with 2 guys that summer. The first one was I'd call drunk birthday sex, and the second was with a boyfriend I had for two months. Both I never enjoyed and never came at all I know for sure. I just basically laid there. The time I was with some was almost 2 years later, and was with a female that I continued to be with for 3 years. And I want to honestly say that I really dont think that I ever orgasmed..I mean we had good sex..but I was just never fully into it. We broke up in march 2013. I slept with one guy twice after that and hated it, he only car e d about pleasuring himself (keep in mind j also didnt hardly know what i was doing bc i was so inexperienced with guys) and in July I got with my boyfriend who I am still with today. I want to say that I have orgasmed with him, and we've gotten a little..kinkier..I'd call it than Ive ever experienced before and love having sex But sometimes I almost think im faking it just to even get him to go. Im just confused on if I just take forever to orgasm or if I have standards that havent even been met yet..please help!!

[jen1447]

Hey Rachel, orgasms come in all shapes and sizes, so it's totally possible that you've had them - little ones - and that they just haven't been mind-blowing. (When you have those, you'll definitely know. ) There's physiological stuff you could ask yourself, do you have pelvic contractions, uncontrollable shaking thruout your body (anywhere from your torso out to your limbs, etc.), but it seems like a pointless question really. What you need is to start having really good orgasms, regardless whether you had them before.

Best way to do that honestly is by yourself. Do you have any toys? They help with self-exploration, and the first thing you really need to figure out is what gets you off. So take some special alone time at home, start fantasizing, fire up the vibe, and do whatever comes natural. Don't worry, your body will tell you what it wants and likes. And the payoff (aside from some really good orgasms themselves, potentially) is that once you know what works for you, you can share that with your boyfriend/girlfriend and get them schooled on what they need to do to make you cum.

It's really really important - sexual satisfaction just makes for a happy girl - so don't let them off the hook! They need to put in their time for your benefit and vice versa.

[atskitty2]

And don't ever fake it, if that is what you're doing. That only robs you of pleasure and your partner too, in many ways.

[rcoreyus]

What atskitty2 said. I honestly think it is never worth pretending to enjoy something you don't. Instead try to find what you do enjoy.