[sexy brenda]

Ah okay, sorry hon I do recall you talking about the mutual masturbation now. Well then that makes this really easy as you're already half way there or more with a shared sexual activity going on at the same time and place! I thought we'd have to approach this via a slow come-on thru conversation about housework or something lol.

So my distinct suspicion here is that if she's okay with masturbating together with you, actual sex between the two of you is not far off. (If she wanted nothing to do with that, she'd probably keep her masturbation totally private and wouldn't have gone to the lengths to suggest that you do it together.) Do you have orgasms together, or is it moreso general playing around while you discuss these hot topics?

Anyway, you have lots of possibilities here, and none are terribly risky ....

The direct approach - when you start playing, look her in the eyes and tell her you'd like to do that for her for a change.
The half way approach - suggest switching toys after you've got started, which will mean sharing each others' juices and imply more intimacy.
The subtle approach - after you've started playing, put the focus on her instead of the men. Tell her she looks hot doing that, etc.

Those are just a few possibilities, and obviously you have to follow up based on how she responds. You'll find that women usually react only a few different ways - the obvious ones being total yes or no answers (and you'll have no doubts about those). There's a middle ground too tho where she might just not say anything, which is an actual "yes I like the idea but you have to convince me" moment, or a playful no, which is actually an "I'm interested" answer. (Both of those are essentially green lights because if they were nos, she'd run screaming from the room, not smile at you and call you silly while spreading her legs. )

The followups - yes, go straight in; genuine no, respect that and stop right away; silence, make a case verbally, like "I think I could do a better job and you could just relax and enjoy,"; fake no, this depends a lot but I usually take them as signs to go in, but slowly. So if it was me and she said no and giggled, I'd touch her leg or something like that and say "Oh come on, I think you want to."

Last thing (for now lol) that occurred to me ....you um, probably are not exactly an expert at eating V at this point I'm guessing? Nothing wrong with that if you're new at it, but when it comes time to do what comes natural you'll want to be able to deliver. The newness and girl-heat type feeling will take you a long way, but you still need tongue action that works for her when you start in on her. I'm not sure tips that graphic in nature are really appropriate to discuss here tho lol, we'll have to give that some thought. Thinking of it tho, you could make the first time limited just to see how she responds overall. I'm a big kisser so for me that would mean primarily making out, but it doesn't have to be that ...you could just play around with the toys or something, cuddle, caress, etc. ....

Oh and last, last thing - as the initiator you should expect to do all the work to start. You have to make it about her, so don't expect you'll make your move, play a little kissy face, and have her go down on you. With noobs I usually resign myself to not receiving or orgasming at all but putting in lots of time of my own and hopefully bringing about some good ones for her to start her off right. It's just your womanly responsibility to lead the way unselfishly when taking another woman by the hand on a journey like this.

Feel free to ask any questions. There's a lot more to all of this but that should get you started. I'm here to help!

Thanks Jen I am now going to think these ideas through, Thanks for your help I will be back to you when I have taken all advice in. Thanks

[jen1447]

You're welcome. I think you've got a lot of potential fun ahead of you.

[Archer]

Might be the coolest thing I've read on the internet in a while.

Women like Jen and Brenda actually exist = faith in humanity restored

[jen1447]

Thanks lol but Brenda deserves all the credit - she's the one womaning up with the courage to try what she wants.

Oh btw Bren, you asked if you were being greedy ....no you're not. Greed is having something or taking something at the expense of someone else, or wanting what they have. You're not robbing anyone of any sexual activity here, only adding to yours. I have no doubt you both have the capacity to add this to your sexual playbook without subtracting any of the action from your husbands. Otherwise it's just general guilt that makes us feel that way when we're getting what we want, feeling bad that others don't have it as good as you, but truth is there's no shame in pursuing a (very) fulfilling sexuality.

[Lady Syrinx]

I've never been able to to understand swinging myself. I understand that generally couples who participate in the lifestyle have rules that are supposed to maintain the integrity of the relationship. But there are some things that it's simply impossible to guard against. Like feelings developing if you have "favorite" partners or jealousy issues. Personally, I wouldn't want to share my husband It's kind of funny that a friend of ours who is bi-sexual has to told me that she has a "crush" on me, though.

[jen1447]

Has, as in currently? Do you feel anything besides amused by that? In my experience, women who mention it are generally if not curious, at least flattered.

[ms_lorr]

Married is married, one partner for life. No matter who is involved there will always be some doubt in each others mind about being compared to others, and who is better or preferred. Married couple sex life cannot be shared in my view, it can be seen as negative or pessimistic, I would say it is more human nature.

[Trixareforkids]

In my experience, women who mention it are generally if not curious, at least flattered.

Well of course we're flattered It's lovely to be desired, especially by someone we like (even if the attraction is not mutual). I've spent a little time in lesbian bars and at lesbian parties with my older daughter and/or some gay friends and I was always flattered and very gentle in my refusals. There were a couple of gals that I'd actually have liked to be friends with as they were great gals, but I don't pursue a friendship where I know there's an attraction, I find it just the tiniest bit cruel, that goes for both sexes.

[Lady Syrinx]

Has, as in currently? Do you feel anything besides amused by that? In my experience, women who mention it are generally if not curious, at least flattered.

I always sort of suspected it on some level, I was flattered. Although I wonder iff I`d feel differently it was a stranger or an acquaintance I might feel differently. I know she,ll respect the boundaries our respective relationships. Her boyfriend is my husband`s second best friend.

[Motorguy]

I've never been able to to understand swinging myself. I understand that generally couples who participate in the lifestyle have rules that are supposed to maintain the integrity of the relationship. But there are some things that it's simply impossible to guard against. Like feelings developing if you have "favorite" partners or jealousy issues. Personally, I wouldn't want to share my husband It's kind of funny that a friend of ours who is bi-sexual has to told me that she has a "crush" on me, though.

Well Lady Syrinx the swinging life style is not for everyone. And you correct there is rules that we do follow you have too or it doesn't work at all. But first you hit right on the head you can not be a jealous type in this life style or it won't work out for you at all. Me and my wife enjoy a few select couples and of course she is bi so she has her girls night out and I don't see her till the next day. We been married 26 years almost 27 and swinging 21 years. So we are pretty tight in that area we love each other so very much. As we both have high sex drives and we need every once a while a night out with other like minded couples and a few single men or women we can enjoy good sex with out worrying you are cheating on each other. So if you both are not on the same page then this life style is not for you at all.