[jen1447]

I was just reading a numbers thread on here from a year or two ago ....think it should be revived!

[Archer]

Raise the dead! Do it haha...

[sexy brenda]

Yeah, I think Sexy Brenda here has this going on and in her situation, they pair off and go their separate ways.

I never really understood numbers psychosis btw ....25 is not a large number when you consider a sexual lifespan of even just a few years. Let's say someone who had been sexually active for ten years had had 25 partners. That's 2.5 a year? Big deal.

You are correct jen and kitty ---- I still have it going on as you say -- in my own way. I with my friends husband - and my husband with my friend. In no way would we do it in the company of each couple, and in no way would we go to swinging sessions. Never have and probably never will. I would like to say that sometimes when I and my girlfriend meet for afternoons gossips it has entered my mind on several occasions to make advances on her but I have always drawn back as I do not know what she would think, I do not want to spoil a good friendship that the four of us have. But even if I could get sometime going with her I don't think I would even do that in the company of the others. Swinging with several partners would not turn me on any more that what I already have.

[jen1447]

I'd totally make that move Bren, lol.

My thinking is that a. you've already got a relationship going where extra-marital sex is okay, b. your friend is already in the approved group, and c. you already have some inkling that she'd be up for it given the other antics so it wouldn't be a totally 'cold' move ....unless you know she's not interested but that doesn't sound like the case.

Last and most important is that if you think man-swapping has taken your sexuality to the next level, oh my ...prepare for another level beyond that with a woman. You owe it to yourself to explore.

(I can give you tips on how to approach it if you like.)

[rhiannon34]

For me personally I would never be able to be ok with my bf being with someone else, or knowing that I had been with someone either, call me jealous or old school or whatever. I have though been friends with someone that was a swinger, it destroyed his marriage, and been friends with a girl who's husband had a fetish of watching her sleep with other men. That seemed to work for them. To each his own, and whatever works for people. It is treading on shaky ground if this is not something your wife is going to be as into as you are.

[sexy brenda]

I'd totally make that move Bren, lol.

My thinking is that a. you've already got a relationship going where extra-marital sex is okay, b. your friend is already in the approved group, and c. you already have some inkling that she'd be up for it given the other antics so it wouldn't be a totally 'cold' move ....unless you know she's not interested but that doesn't sound like the case.



(I can give you tips on how to approach it if you like.)

Thank you Jen. That would be useful (I confess I was brought up the old fashioned shy type)

[jen1447]

Okay, now we're talking.

First of all let me ask, would she be shocked if you made a move on her, or can you tell if she's already warm to the idea, or what's her mental state exactly on this score? Any history of bisexuality etc.? What's her sexual history like overall? The swinging is one very much in her favor for adventurousness but I need a feel for her to know where to go with it. Your approach always depends on your quarry - if I were seducing a first timer I'd do it a lot differently than going for a girl who I knew had been there before.

Also tell me more what your afternoon gossips are like ....just the two of you at her house or yours, plenty of time to kill, etc.?

[Archer]

:: Eats popcorn ::

Continue.

[sexy brenda]

Okay, now we're talking.

First of all let me ask, would she be shocked if you made a move on her, or can you tell if she's already warm to the idea, or what's her mental state exactly on this score? Any history of bisexuality etc.? What's her sexual history like overall? The swinging is one very much in her favor for adventurousness but I need a feel for her to know where to go with it. Your approach always depends on your quarry - if I were seducing a first timer I'd do it a lot differently than going for a girl who I knew had been there before.

Also tell me more what your afternoon gossips are like ....just the two of you at her house or yours, plenty of time to kill, etc.?

As I explained in my first post back in October my renewed sex life took off again by my meetings with Pat ,next door and I said at that time, after a period of time, that she suggested that I masturbate with her. which we have continued to do on our afternoon meetings. It is not a problem that I see her playing with herself as she can see me playing with myself. We often do this as we talk about our relations with each others husband, It kinds of turns us on. The position is that although we do it to each other, I do it to myself and she does it to herself I have never touched her anywhere and neither has she touched me. So I am not coming on to her cold, we are both full of sex. It is the female/female situation that I am a little dubious about. I would love to touch her and move onto a relationship with her. I have read a lot of your posts and you say it can be a wonderful experience. Am I being too greedy as we both have each others husbands. It was not until I was 50 that I had another man and certainly never done anything with a woman, but when I see her playing with herself I just want to join in. And I would like her to play with me. I do not know if she has ever had a woman either.

[jen1447]

Ah okay, sorry hon I do recall you talking about the mutual masturbation now. Well then that makes this really easy as you're already half way there or more with a shared sexual activity going on at the same time and place! I thought we'd have to approach this via a slow come-on thru conversation about housework or something lol.

So my distinct suspicion here is that if she's okay with masturbating together with you, actual sex between the two of you is not far off. (If she wanted nothing to do with that, she'd probably keep her masturbation totally private and wouldn't have gone to the lengths to suggest that you do it together.) Do you have orgasms together, or is it moreso general playing around while you discuss these hot topics?

Anyway, you have lots of possibilities here, and none are terribly risky ....

The direct approach - when you start playing, look her in the eyes and tell her you'd like to do that for her for a change.
The half way approach - suggest switching toys after you've got started, which will mean sharing each others' juices and imply more intimacy.
The subtle approach - after you've started playing, put the focus on her instead of the men. Tell her she looks hot doing that, etc.

Those are just a few possibilities, and obviously you have to follow up based on how she responds. You'll find that women usually react only a few different ways - the obvious ones being total yes or no answers (and you'll have no doubts about those). There's a middle ground too tho where she might just not say anything, which is an actual "yes I like the idea but you have to convince me" moment, or a playful no, which is actually an "I'm interested" answer. (Both of those are essentially green lights because if they were nos, she'd run screaming from the room, not smile at you and call you silly while spreading her legs. )

The followups - yes, go straight in; genuine no, respect that and stop right away; silence, make a case verbally, like "I think I could do a better job and you could just relax and enjoy,"; fake no, this depends a lot but I usually take them as signs to go in, but slowly. So if it was me and she said no and giggled, I'd touch her leg or something like that and say "Oh come on, I think you want to."

Last thing (for now lol) that occurred to me ....you um, probably are not exactly an expert at eating V at this point I'm guessing? Nothing wrong with that if you're new at it, but when it comes time to do what comes natural you'll want to be able to deliver. The newness and girl-heat type feeling will take you a long way, but you still need tongue action that works for her when you start in on her. I'm not sure tips that graphic in nature are really appropriate to discuss here tho lol, we'll have to give that some thought. Thinking of it tho, you could make the first time limited just to see how she responds overall. I'm a big kisser so for me that would mean primarily making out, but it doesn't have to be that ...you could just play around with the toys or something, cuddle, caress, etc. ....

Oh and last, last thing - as the initiator you should expect to do all the work to start. You have to make it about her, so don't expect you'll make your move, play a little kissy face, and have her go down on you. With noobs I usually resign myself to not receiving or orgasming at all but putting in lots of time of my own and hopefully bringing about some good ones for her to start her off right. It's just your womanly responsibility to lead the way unselfishly when taking another woman by the hand on a journey like this.

Feel free to ask any questions. There's a lot more to all of this but that should get you started. I'm here to help!