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  • tss7924
    Junior Member
    • Apr 2014
    • 7

    Nothing for a year

    So my fiance and I have had no sexual activity of any kind for about a year. The last time we did anything was when we got engaged in early May of last year. We have talked about it and she just says that she has no drive for any kind of sexual activity right now. We both believe that it's a side effect of her one medication, but I was just wondering if anyone had any information on any kind of way to have her want a physical relationship?

    We are both very very happy and currently planning our wedding. It hasn't affected our relationship at all, but I just want to know if there is anything I can do to help her.
  • atskitty2
    Assistant Admin
    • Aug 2013
    • 4467

    Is there any chance she'll be stopping this medication?


    It's surprising that it hasn't effected your relationship at all.

    Comment

    • tss7924
      Junior Member
      • Apr 2014
      • 7

      There isn't any chance. Its a depression med and the only one that has worked for her. I mean I want a physical relationship with her, but I'd rather her feel good taking her medicine.

      And we just love each other that much, she's by far the person I love most.

      Comment

      • effy2014
        Veteran Member
        • Apr 2014
        • 1777

        This is a difficult problem. She could be on these meds for a very long time. I would ask her psychiatrist if there is a combination of drugs that might give her the same anti-depressive effect without the decreased libido.

        A second option is to try different approaches to intimacy that might kick start her desire. A sexy back massage, making out for a while, touching, etc. Experiment and you might be able to find an approach that gets her in the mood.

        Good luck to you. It would be difficult for me to embark on a marriage where sex might not be an option.
        "The only consistent feature of all of your dissatisfying relationships is you." Despair.com "Dysfunction"

        Comment

        • tss7924
          Junior Member
          • Apr 2014
          • 7

          I just want her to be happy. I'd much rather have her happiness and not feeling bad over sex any day of the week

          I've tried some of those things, nothing has really worked. She will just tell me she doesn't want to do anything and then we just lay in bed together and talk.

          I'm very happy with her, and I'm glad I'll be marrying her.

          Comment

          • rcoreyus
            Veteran Member
            • Sep 2007
            • 4369

            You have to decide for yourself if you will be happy with a life without sex before you make a lifelong commitment to this woman.

            Never marry someone for their sake, only if it really is what both of you want.

            Comment

            • tss7924
              Junior Member
              • Apr 2014
              • 7

              It is definitely what I want.

              I mean don't get me wrong I want sex with her as well. It was amazing before this happened, but, like I said, she is on a good place being on this medication, and if that means giving up sex then I guess that's what happens.

              Comment

              • Motorguy
                Veteran Member
                • Mar 2014
                • 3921

                Originally posted by tss7924
                So my fiance and I have had no sexual activity of any kind for about a year. The last time we did anything was when we got engaged in early May of last year. We have talked about it and she just says that she has no drive for any kind of sexual activity right now. We both believe that it's a side effect of her one medication, but I was just wondering if anyone had any information on any kind of way to have her want a physical relationship?

                We are both very very happy and currently planning our wedding. It hasn't affected our relationship at all, but I just want to know if there is anything I can do to help her.
                Well TSS has the doctor been consulted about this problem and why your fiance has lost all interested in sex. If she been taking this medication this long it's probably something she will have to take for a long period of time then. I would really find out the reason why because sex is very important in a marriage, if there is none spouses will tend to seek pleasure other places with someone else and that is wrong. So good luck on finding out why because some medication will hurt the romance of sex in the bedroom.
                When out driving always turn left. Then, should you become lost, you can find your way home by reversing the procedure and always turning right.

                Comment

                • Motorguy
                  Veteran Member
                  • Mar 2014
                  • 3921

                  Originally posted by tss7924
                  It is definitely what I want.

                  I mean don't get me wrong I want sex with her as well. It was amazing before this happened, but, like I said, she is on a good place being on this medication, and if that means giving up sex then I guess that's what happens.
                  I would still see her doctor about this medication to see if it can be modified to help out with the sexually appetite.
                  When out driving always turn left. Then, should you become lost, you can find your way home by reversing the procedure and always turning right.

                  Comment

                  • tss7924
                    Junior Member
                    • Apr 2014
                    • 7

                    No the doctor has not been consulted. She had been off of it for awhile and then the doctor put her back on it.

                    I am very happy with her, and I understand that sex is important in a marriage, but as I said before its more important to me that she isn't feeling depressed and is happy.

                    Comment

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