[Barrelbabe59]

My boyfriend is a year younger than me and we have been together 4 months now. We finally decided to take it to the next level and the sex was great, but the last few times he has completely left me hanging that we will have great foreplay then the other night he took my top off then just kinda pushed me off and rolled over and went to sleep. Then the next time same thing great foreplay then it last less than 25 seconds then he does his business and is ready to go do something else. I have no idea what to do I'm going crazy but he doesn't see the problem am I just being selfish because I'm just feeling used now.

[effy2014]

A couple of questions.

There could be several problems going on -- which did you discuss? That he wasn't interested in intercourse (the first instance you described); that the intercourse didn't last long enough (the second instance); that there was no "after play" in either instance (ie cuddling, loving behavior); or that he didn't recognize a problem even though you raised it (probably the most significant offense from a relationship perspective)?

When you say that there was great foreplay, did he bring you to orgasm? I ask because he may have thought that he left you satisfied.

Whatever your answers, you are entitled to the sex life you need and want, selfish or not. The only way to solve the problem is to communicate and reach a mutually satisfactory solution. It would be easier to give some advice on how to approach matters if we have a better understanding of the problem. Your ages and how long this has been going on (from your post it's only happened the last "few" times).

[Barrelbabe59]

A couple of questions.

There could be several problems going on -- which did you discuss? That he wasn't interested in intercourse (the first instance you described); that the intercourse didn't last long enough (the second instance); that there was no "after play" in either instance (ie cuddling, loving behavior); or that he didn't recognize a problem even though you raised it (probably the most significant offense from a relationship perspective)?

When you say that there was great foreplay, did he bring you to orgasm? I ask because he may have thought that he left you satisfied.

Whatever your answers, you are entitled to the sex life you need and want, selfish or not. The only way to solve the problem is to communicate and reach a mutually satisfactory solution. It would be easier to give some advice on how to approach matters if we have a better understanding of the problem. Your ages and how long this has been going on (from your post it's only happened the last "few" times).

I apologize I wasn't more specific I'm 23 he is 22. This kind of thing had happened the last 3 times the foreplay was good as far as being worked up and ready to go on both our behalf. I discussed it with him that I wasn't being satisfied at all and was becoming frustrated. However he blew it off like he got his so what does it matter. Hence my problem I don't know what to do...

[jen1447]

You're saying you have good foreplay, then you start having sex and he gets off, and then it's over? If that's the case, you may have a bit of an inexperienced and/or immature guy on your hands.

[effy2014]

The info helped, thank you. Jen is right, he is acting immaturely. It appears that, after 4 months, he is becoming inattentive to your needs. What to do? Stick up for yourself. Let him know that you have no intention of being in a relationship where you are sexually frustrated. The rule has to be that he cannot quit until you have been satisfied.

There are many ways he can do this. He can orally get you to multiple orgasms. He can prolong intercourse or, if his prematurity is beyond his control, the two of you can get him off early on in foreplay and then he can have sex with you after his recovery (at 22, that should not be very long) which will be longer. There are so many other ways this can be solved. All it takes is commitment by both of you.

If you are looking for validation, here it is. It is his obligation to make sure you have a fulfilling sex life. If he is unwilling to acknowledge the problem, the future does not look good on other issues as well.

[Motorguy]

Well Barrelbabe from your story it seem like your boy friend suffering for premature ejaculation. So seeing a sex therapist will help with this problem or try more foreplay. When he going to come then you stop him from coming till he can control his release. Till you come up with a time you like your boy friend to last while doing intercourse.