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  • Natalie1962
    Member
    • Jul 2014
    • 71

    Aftermath of my first swinging party experience

    I guess this could be titled Part 2 of my experiences as a swinger.

    I’ve posted the story on my first experience at swinging (spousal swapping) while I was a U.S. Air Force officer stationed in the United Kingdom in the 1980s. I would like to tell the story of the second swinging experience but that will be for another day. First I want to go into detail of what happened after our first swinging party.

    As I wrote in my first story (My nervousness at our first swinger’s party) The first time was a pretty nerve racking experience and I admit I was more worried about the reaction of my husband afterward than anything else. Well it had a happy ending and it also ignited a huge blaze in our interest in the swinging scene. When we got home we couldn’t keep our hands away from each other and we made mad, wild, passionate love in the living room as soon as we walked through the door. It was quick but very intense and I remember it to this day.
    Over the next several days, my husband and I had a lot of sex with each other and did a lot of talking about what we had done. I find our best talking is done during sex when we can talk about anything. Well we talked about our time at the first party and we each told one another in intimate detail what we had experienced. He absolutely loved hearing my description of what it felt like having another man entering me and kept asking me to repeat the story. When I heard his experience with the older woman I thought I’d feel jealousy but I didn’t. I knew that he loved me and that his sexual encounter was just his love of variety (as is mine). We both came to the conclusion that we wanted to do this again. Though we had talked in detail before our first experience, we decided to go over the rules again and change anything that needed changing.

    We both agreed that there would be no future kissing on the lips (anywhere else OK) and no unprotected sex. Oral was fine. We both had to meet and agree with each other’s prospective intimate partners and either could veto at any time with one simple code phrase (Miss Moneypenny). If either of us told the other that we had to go there was to be no argument and we get out of there fast.
    It was also agreed that I would be the one to accept any party or private invitation for any futuree encounters as I would be more level headed and be able to think logically whereas my husband confessed he would probably accept every and all invitations coming our way. That could proof fatal for our military careers if we didn’t use caution. That meant no parties near the Air Force Base (RAF Lakenheath) and we should probably steer clear from other military members that we didn’t know very well.

    With the ground rules set, or expectations were high and I got to searching for opportunities in the pre-internet days of the late 1980s (which wasn’t an easy task unlike today). It took a lot more networking and calling around to vouch for the authenticity of the party. Luckily I had several good contacts I made from our first party we went to that because of dumb luck on our part didn’t turn into a disaster because we went there without really checking to see who would be there.

    One thing about the swinging world that most seem to misunderstand is that meeting with other couples doesn’t necessarily mean there will be sex. I’ve made friends with other couples all over the place and sometimes when you meet a couple there just isn’t any spark for sex; however, there is sometimes a possibility for friendship. So it’s quite possible to meet with other swinger couples for fun rather than sex. I actually enjoy meeting with those couples because we can be ourselves and even “talk shop:” and compare notes and experiences. That being said my husband and I befriended another couple that had been at the first party and they fit the category I just described. We became fast friends but not sexual partners. We learned a lot from them and they are the ones who found our second swinging experience with another couple. That is a story for another time.

    Bed time everyone

    Natalie
  • jns
    Assistant Admin
    • Mar 2010
    • 8398

    It sounds like you and your husband are well matched in personalities, so you are both willing to cede to the other if the other does something better. Your rules make sense and are quite logical.

    You may have said it in another post, but I don't remember: did either you or you husband have other sexual partners before meeting? I ask because your husband asked what it was like during penetration for your first out of marriage sexual encounter after getting married. I would think if you had had a lot of partners, it may have been hard to describe in fine detail. I can actually remember the details of giving oral more than I can having intercourse for the most part.
    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
    ...
    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

    From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

    Comment

    • Natalie1962
      Member
      • Jul 2014
      • 71

      Originally posted by jns
      You may have said it in another post, but I don't remember: did either you or you husband have other sexual partners before meeting? I ask because your husband asked what it was like during penetration for your first out of marriage sexual encounter after getting married. I would think if you had had a lot of partners, it may have been hard to describe in fine detail. I can actually remember the details of giving oral more than I can having intercourse for the most part.
      Yes, I had several partners before getting married. My husband was interested in the sex details of this specific time because this was the first time I'd been with another man since we married which gave him quite a sexual high thinking about it. Interestingly enough, he never really asked about the men (except in general terms) that I'd had sex with before we met. He seems only interested in the men I've been with as a married women.

      Even today my husband gets very excited when I tell him (or write it out for him) the details of my intimate encounters. For instance, last night I had my 157th sexual encounter with a new man. My husband has been gone for a few days on a business trip to Dallas and he knows I hate to sleep alone. One or two nights is fine but more than that I get very nervous and scared to be alone. I' a fully independent woman but I feel protected when a man sleeps next to me. As usual when he knows he will be gone for several days like this he suggested I find a "bed mate" for a night or two. Well instead of calling a friend to come over I happened to meet this young, well educated man who was visiting my company from overseas for some training (he's an engineer like my husband). I never intended to "hook up" with him but to make a long story short it worked out perfectly and I was able to have a man in my bed last night and I slept very soundly. My husband is due back any minute and I of course am going to have to tell him every dirty detail of what happened last night. He never ever gets tired of hearing about my exploiting these "poor young men."

      What a life I lead And I love every minute of it

      Natalie

      Comment

      • Motorguy
        Veteran Member
        • Mar 2014
        • 3921

        Well that's another great story again Natalie, with husband with your swinging life style. That's how you been able to be involved in the life style for so long with these rules you set forth. Before jumping in head first with thinking of the ramification of living this life style that's really good for you.But my only question if you could do it all over again. Would you do anything differently at all Natalie, on living in the swinging life style.
        When out driving always turn left. Then, should you become lost, you can find your way home by reversing the procedure and always turning right.

        Comment

        • Motorguy
          Veteran Member
          • Mar 2014
          • 3921

          Originally posted by Natalie1962
          Yes, I had several partners before getting married. My husband was interested in the sex details of this specific time because this was the first time I'd been with another man since we married which gave him quite a sexual high thinking about it. Interestingly enough, he never really asked about the men (except in general terms) that I'd had sex with before we met. He seems only interested in the men I've been with as a married women.

          Even today my husband gets very excited when I tell him (or write it out for him) the details of my intimate encounters. For instance, last night I had my 157th sexual encounter with a new man. My husband has been gone for a few days on a business trip to Dallas and he knows I hate to sleep alone. One or two nights is fine but more than that I get very nervous and scared to be alone. I' a fully independent woman but I feel protected when a man sleeps next to me. As usual when he knows he will be gone for several days like this he suggested I find a "bed mate" for a night or two. Well instead of calling a friend to come over I happened to meet this young, well educated man who was visiting my company from overseas for some training (he's an engineer like my husband). I never intended to "hook up" with him but to make a long story short it worked out perfectly and I was able to have a man in my bed last night and I slept very soundly. My husband is due back any minute and I of course am going to have to tell him every dirty detail of what happened last night. He never ever gets tired of hearing about my exploiting these "poor young men."

          What a life I lead And I love every minute of it

          Natalie
          Well Natalie does look like you enjoy your life very well. Along with your husband as well. A sex life that some people may be envy of that's for sure. I only say if you have fun and husband knows along with wife with roles flipped . You are hurting no one so t's all good then and you both seem to be happy after all these years later. I read many post from doctors on relationship on swinging married couples have very strong and happy marriages then couples who don't kinda of weird i must say.
          When out driving always turn left. Then, should you become lost, you can find your way home by reversing the procedure and always turning right.

          Comment

          • Natalie1962
            Member
            • Jul 2014
            • 71

            Originally posted by Motorguy
            But my only question if you could do it all over again. Would you do anything differently at all Natalie, on living in the swinging life style.
            I'd be a little bit more careful on the couples we have chosen but other than that I'd change nothing. We've had a few nut cases.

            Comment

            • Motorguy
              Veteran Member
              • Mar 2014
              • 3921

              Originally posted by Natalie1962
              I'd be a little bit more careful on the couples we have chosen but other than that I'd change nothing. We've had a few nut cases.
              I guess in this life style you would run into a few nut cases it comes with the territory then. But thank you for sharing your stories my wife enjoys them her self as well.
              When out driving always turn left. Then, should you become lost, you can find your way home by reversing the procedure and always turning right.

              Comment

              • jen1447
                Veteran Member
                • Oct 2013
                • 2380

                Is this going to be a series Natalie - how you got from point a to z type thing? Sounds like it'll make for a good read if so and likely help people in similar situations with doubts.

                Comment

                • Natalie1962
                  Member
                  • Jul 2014
                  • 71

                  Originally posted by jen1447
                  Is this going to be a series Natalie - how you got from point a to z type thing? Sounds like it'll make for a good read if so and likely help people in similar situations with doubts.
                  I didn't start out to make this a series but that's a good idea. There has always been so much misconception about swingers and the lifestyle they lead that it's ridicules what some people think. I live an absolutely normal life and don't advertise my swinging activities at all, though I'm not ashamed of it I know when to be prudent and quiet about such matters.

                  So yes, I probably will write about some of my experiences. Of the 157 sexual encounters I've had with other men most were very ordinary and vanilla kind of sex. Those wouldn't make interesting stories as they would all be written like this:

                  "I met John and Jane Doe at the party. My husband and I liked them. We decided to swap partners. We took them to our home. I had sex with John and my husband with Jane. We ate a light snack afterwards and talked over wine in the backyard. They went home. The End."


                  The better stories are in the earlier days when I was still new to all this and was trying to figure out what was all right and what was bad. I was also a rotten judge of character back then and made some big mistakes. I've never been raped but there was one time if almost happened and just like in the movies my wonderful, handsome, very strong husband heard my cry, leaped, ran down the hall, burst open the door at the last minute and "took care of business." I was never so happy to be saved like that. Let's just say he was well rewarded later that night. My only regret to this day was that I didn't press charges.

                  Let story telling commence!

                  Natalie

                  Natalie

                  Comment

                  • Something_Awesome
                    Veteran Member
                    • Apr 2014
                    • 1219

                    Good read.... Wouldn't mind hearing about the biggest nut case you've had
                    "Are you serious? You're bleeping THAT girl?" - jen1447

                    Comment

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