[phoenix1968]

I have been with my partner for 2 years and we have the most amazing relationship - other than the sex. Since the beginning of our relationship he cant ejaculate inside me. He can cum with oral or hand jobs but not inside me. At first I put it down to he's not used to me. Then I thought it was maybe because he has a really hectic work load. And now I'm wondering if its not me???? He obviously hasn't had this problem with anyone else before as he has 2 kids from his previous marriage and when I asked him if he's had this before he says he doesn't remember. And he cant give me a reason as to why this is happening. I'm trying to be as understanding as I can in case its a medical problem, but I really feel despondent as I almost feel like I shouldn't be having orgasms then....
Does anyone else have anything like this or can anyone give me any reasonable idea as to what the problem can be???

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hi Phoenix,

Welcome to WH. I note that you state "other than sex" but then " I almost feel like I shouldn't be having orgasms".

It's funny in a way if you think about it. Women complain if a man is over and done with quickly or if he lasts for an hour .

I am in your position.

My man can cum with oral or by hand but not with penetration. We talked about it. You say he had two kids so I am thinking that he was on his own for a while perhaps even in his marriage/ relationship and off course after. Men can and often do turn to porn, for some form of mental visualisation if on their own and the more they do it, the more sensitise they become.

D feels me, when he makes love to me, I'm betting your man does as well. But, he needs a different stimulation, what he was used to, I'm not sure if I can change that, getting on top of him, outside in the sun whilst he sits on a chair, facing away from him yet he can see me, makes him cum automatically . Excitement I guess .

Don't feel guilty he is feeling you and excited, it's not like that at all. But perhaps try different adventurous positions and situations as well and maybe even learn to touch yourself if you don't whilst he enters you..

Feel free, don't feel as if you are getting a benefit and he isn't.

Join him, with him and make him feel comfortable about the entire being of both of your bodies.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Just to let you know as well, I am in Australia, everyone else is sleeping, you only need the one thread and others will answer in a few hours when they wake.

With their thoughts.

[tinyclitt]

My husband is the same way. He can only orgasm after cumming into my mouth. I can see he is having good orgasms. He's happy. In my case I've never seen any reason why I should force him to conform to any sort of preconceived notion on my part as to how a I think a man should achieve orgasm. I've never even seen any need to be concerned. Vive la différence as they say.

If your husband is happy and not complaining, is there sincerely any reason for concern?

[shoshannah]

Stupid question . . . is he using condoms? On the rare occasion when my DH uses them, it makes a difference.