[stonedhearted]

When I was 15-17 I was the horniest girl, I could make myself soaked with just my thoughts, my vagina was throbbing all the time and it was just really nice and fun.
Then it was like once I turned 18 it completely stopped and hasn't been back since.
I have a boyfriend and I'm never turned on. I want to have sex but it's as though my body and brain aren't connected anymore.
When we are touching each other I feel nothing in my vagina, no throbbing no wetness at all I am completely dry, and so it makes me just not want to have sex.
I am on birth control, but this problem has started before I went on any pill. I was on linessa for 1 year, and I told my doc about this arousal problem and last week switched me to Min Ovral which is supposed to have more hormones.

I'm just so sick of not feeling anything, its making me miserable and making sex feel like a chore and I'm left unsatisfied every single time. I don't know what to do.

[Gary7]

Your hormone levels will vary over your lifetime and so your reaction to various pills will also vary. You could easily rule out the birth control by completely going off of it and using mechanical forms of bc like condoms and a diaphragm. Otherwise just keep at it with your gyno to see if you can find a pill that doesn't kill your libido.

[stonedhearted]

The pill isn't killing my libido, it died before I started any contraceptives.

[raindancer]

I've had several ups and downs in libido, too, during my sexual life. Being wet was never the problem, as far as I can remember, but getting started could be very difficult, sometimes.

The solution? Frankly, I don't think there is one. Trying to get the pill right is what everybody will say. But I suspect that there's more to it than just getting a couple of hormones right.

Men may have impotence even with hormone levels OK. Why isn't anyone studying the equivalent of it on women? We always get the "get the pill right" answer, but isn't that an oversimplification? Various reasons can prevent a man from getting it up and keeping it there. Well, what is a clitoris? It gets engorged, too, during arousal and sex. That warm feeling down there is a rush of blood, isn't it?

So, we're supposed to get the pill right and shut up. But if that was really the holy grail (spelling?), why would there be so many women who just give up on sex?

I wish you good luck in getting the pill right. You'll be told to take vitamins and eat right, too. Who knows, perhaps increasing your omega 3 intake could help. Soy is good for hormonal balance of menopausal women. You could try that, too.

I wonder what was told to women before the pill. Oh, of course, all the Freud idioties.

[therednotebook]

word. i am going through the same thing myself.

sex drives do come and go, though. and you're still young and balancing out, hormonally speaking, so try to take it in stride. is there anything at all that gets you mildly in the mood? like, thoughts you keep all for yourself kind of thing? or is it all just a wash and nothing does anything at all?

if you CAN get off of the pill and have sex safely, i would recommend that. taking hormones can do all kinds of nasty things to your systems - especially long term use. but. it's a hard one to say no to, i know.

[effy2014]

I will write a similar comment as I wrote in the thread posted by therednotebook. You can look to a hormonal cause, internal or external, and it may be worth the trip to the GYN. However, the most important sex organ is the brain. For the vast majority of us, it controls our sexual appetites and desires. You were the horniest girl because of your thoughts and now you are not, also (IMHO) because of your thoughts.

You may be able to do this yourself . . . piece together what happened around 18 that could have caused the shift in your sexual thinking. If not, use a therapist. Sex and desires are an important component of who we are. It is worth investing the time and effort to find the key to unlock it.