[MostlyHarmless]

I didn't know whether or not to put this here or in the mental health forums (but there are more people viewing this forum).
Four years ago I was raped, and then spent two years with an abusive boyfriend, so I know I have issues now. My focus will be on my childhood.

I don't remember much from my early childhood. But I have very vivid memories about "playing rape" with my toys. I know that young children will often have their toys mimic having sex, that's pretty normal. But how could I even know what rape was? I believe I was between the ages of 5-8, and I would always masturbate afterwards (I had a friend who taught me how, that was some weird ********). I have a few vague memories of things that could be construed as sexually deviant, for example, I have a very hazy memory of showing someone my genitals, but I don't know where and I don't know who. But I have absolutely no memories of being molested, and I would never claim to have been without substantial evidence. My teen years were normal, I guess. I was homeschooled and my parents were very much into the whole purity" thing, so I never had sex until my rape and subsequent ********ty ex.

I know this is all sounding crazy. All I want to know is if a child knowing what rape/molestation and acting it out with their toys at that age is normal. I have never heard of another kid doing this.

[MostlyHarmless]

I also would wet the bed nearly every night for years, have horrible nightmares, night terrors, and absolutely had to sleep with the lights on until I was a teen. These all waned in my teen years, but never went away.

[Motorguy]

I didn't know whether or not to put this here or in the mental health forums (but there are more people viewing this forum).
Four years ago I was raped, and then spent two years with an abusive boyfriend, so I know I have issues now. My focus will be on my childhood.

I don't remember much from my early childhood. But I have very vivid memories about "playing rape" with my toys. I know that young children will often have their toys mimic having sex, that's pretty normal. But how could I even know what rape was? I believe I was between the ages of 5-8, and I would always masturbate afterwards (I had a friend who taught me how, that was some weird ****************). I have a few vague memories of things that could be construed as sexually deviant, for example, I have a very hazy memory of showing someone my genitals, but I don't know where and I don't know who. But I have absolutely no memories of being molested, and I would never claim to have been without substantial evidence. My teen years were normal, I guess. I was homeschooled and my parents were very much into the whole purity" thing, so I never had sex until my rape and subsequent ****************ty ex.

I know this is all sounding crazy. All I want to know is if a child knowing what rape/molestation and acting it out with their toys at that age is normal. I have never heard of another kid doing this.

Well First of all I feel for what you gone through with the rape and be a batter women from old boy friend. I can understand this would be hard to deal with but just maybe the rape and being batter have brought up more memories of your childhood with this idea's with rape with your doll's and so on. Now I know many young girls will play doctor with a childhood boy who they know that is pretty normal just being curious is all. My next question have you seek professional help with these memories come back to you about your childhood what trigger them for you and so on. I would hope you had some counselling after the rape to deal with that ordeal not counting the battering as well. I am leaning towards you maybe had been molested, while you was a child. So it's now all coming around into the play rape with your dolls. When you was a young girl. I am a dad of 4 daughters and myself never witness this type of behavior with my daughters so I say it's not normal. Good luck and hope you seek help and deal with all of this in a timely matter for yourself.