[x7z3]

A man needs help!!! His wife does not like sex! She has no desire for sex! Even when she tries to be nice she doesn't have desire. There have been times if she had a few drinks and he went down on her she liked it very much. But she refuses to admit that!
The husband has a strong sex drive! He's going insane!!! His faith teaches against divorce. Even if he wanted to he couldn't because he has not had a job in years. He has tried to get work. No one will hire him. Besides, he would hate to be away from his kids!
He just got rejected by her again before writing this. He is going crazy! He does not know what to do anymore!!! There is no hope for his wife!!! HELP HIM!!!!!!! please

[LilahX]

Has he discussed with his wife why she doesn't want sex? It sounds like your life might be a bit difficult if he's not working and this must be a huge stress. A woman who is stressed isn't going to be interested in sex. If his faith prevents him divorcing then his faith would also prevent him finding some 'entertainment' elsewhere - he really has no options apart from talk to her, build intmacy and a feeling of togetherness and appreciation - or making very good friends with his right hand. I totally understand that sex is a very important part of a r/ship and unfortunately it so often causes massive issues. Good luck.

[Claret]

It sounds to me as if she is very angry with you. Do you stay at home with the children while she works? Do you take on the household responsibilities, cooking, cleaning, shopping, watching the children, cleaning up? or Is she still expected to do all of this as well?

What do you do to make the thought of sex appealing? The problem may not be all hers, she may just be burnt out at the moment. What can you do to help?

[x7z3]

It sounds to me as if she is very angry with you. Do you stay at home with the children while she works? Do you take on the household responsibilities, cooking, cleaning, shopping, watching the children, cleaning up? or Is she still expected to do all of this as well?

What do you do to make the thought of sex appealing? The problem may not be all hers, she may just be burnt out at the moment. What can you do to help?

The husband has done all those things: cooking, cleaning, watching the kids, ect. He has been gentle and loving and romantic. He even started a job. But nothing changes her. she says she will try to change but she doesn't. She just doesn't! She has no desire for sx whatsoever.

[Ashlee T.]

The husband should do all of those things as his duty as a stay at home partner, and be sure that he is not ONLY doing those things in efforts to receive a sex reward. Not implying that's what you're doing at all, I just felt like that needed to be said. For example, I was with a man once who I suddenly lost sexual attraction for. He would do something nice for me and expect sex as a "reward". It made me want sex even less.

Is the wife on any type of hormonal birth control? What age is the wife? We can all (women AND men) go through hormonal imbalances in life that DO deplete our libido. For me, even in my 20's, hormonal birth control completely zapped my otherwise vivacious sexual appetite. I remember thinking "I could go the rest of my life without sex and not care at all." That changed when I went off the pill.

Aside from medical reasons, I think all couples go through slumps. It really depends on how long this has been going on, your age, etc. More info please.

[x7z3]

Could his wife resent him. I assume she is and has been working, bringing in the finances for years as he hasn't worked for years. Could she also resent him with the time he has with "their" children that she does not have.
Could she resent him as she has to get dressed daily for work but he doesn't take care of what he is wearing at all, as he's a stay at home Dad therefore hasn't been sexually appealing to her as a "man" for years.

And what is his reason for not working for years. It sounds as if he wanted to stay home with the children and it's been an issue that now he's been forced to get part time work. You say he can't get a job, now you say he has one. That suggests she has never liked the arrangement but was forced into it. If you are forced into something, resentment comes in, from that comes loss of respect, from that loss of love. And from that, no desire for sex from that person.

Take everything you just wrote and reverse it. Then you will have the answer.
The husband wants to work. No one would hire him. The wife loves here job, maybe too much. The husband has always taken care of himself. The wife was never into that.
The wife has no problem with the husband being home. The husband wants to work badly. The job he has now it only part time for the season.

[x7z3]

The husband has done all those things: cooking, cleaning, watching the kids, ect. He has been gentle and loving and romantic. He even started a job. But nothing changes her. she says she will try to change but she doesn't. She just doesn't! She has no desire for sx whatsoever.

The wife is middle aged and had children. It's probably hormonal but will she get help? That's the question.

EDIT: One more thing. The husband has learned to like doing the chores because they are the right thing to do. So he is not really looking for a reward.

[raindancer]

The Husband, if she has no desire for sex with you, that's that. Unfortunately, there's very little, if anything, done in the way of research to help with female libido issues.

That I know of, the most effective way to deal temporarily with libido issues for a woman is changing partners. But that wouldn't help in your case, since you both want to be together and you want her to feel desire for you, not for another man, obviously and understandably.

[x7z3]

The Husband, if she has no desire for sex with you, that's that. Unfortunately, there's very little, if anything, done in the way of research to help with female libido issues.

That I know of, the most effective way to deal temporarily with libido issues for a woman is changing partners. But that wouldn't help in your case, since you both want to be together and you want her to feel desire for you, not for another man, obviously and understandably.

Wow! That's what I feared. She needs another man.

[x7z3]

Or the man she has to realise she is missing things in her life and to therefore, look into that, work towards it and re-build again what they originally had.

I have been trying, believe me. Perhaps it's going to take a very long time. Then I screw up and get angry. She says that's only what she thinks about not the good things.
I am going to make an appointment for her to see a doctor. I can't go on like this. It's torture.