[mulletman]

Hey,

I'm 18. and have not had a gf for quite a while, are there any tips from you ladies on how to meet women, and not come on too hard or despersate?

Any advice or tips would be great, as i am quite nervous and inexperienced

[running_gal]

Okay, first question is, why are you hanging out on a women's message board? Hmmm...not really the place to meet women but I'll look past that. Anyway, you have a pretty wide open question that doesn't have an easy answer. I mean, are you in college or working? Where do you hang out or even have access to meeting girls? I know it sounds overused but the best advice I have is to just be yourself. If you try to be something you are not, then you are going to come off as fake and no girl is going to like that. But most importantly if you have a mullet, that's got to go (just judging by your profile name).

[mulletman]

Well, Yes i do have a mullet

But im currently a student at uni, i do go out clubbing but find it hard to meet chicks.

I'm hanging out here cause i get the chance to delve deep into the female mind, which is quite confusing because u women are quite confusing.

[anonymouswhitefemale]

I'm a guy, and here's my advice:

Get some snappy clothes - some decent shoes - not ****ty trainers. Maybe a smart shirt. Walk with your head held high, dont skulk around looking at the floor - it's all about confidence. You could throw a drink in a girls face, and as long as you were confident about it you'd probably not do too badly. The thing that you are - desparation - is oozing out of you like sweat, and women can smell it. The focus of your life isn't getting a woman - everything wont suddenly make sense when you get laid - and you won't be happy. Women are something that compliment your life - they are enjoyable - yes - but they aren't what it's all about. You need to be comfortable with yourself and not need this woman for your self confidence. Think about it - is some needy desparate clinger going to turn you on? No.

Next up, you need to decide if you're just out to get your penis wet, or if you want something more - and how much you will need to respect or like the person of your affections. There are plenty of slappers out there who's pants are pretty easy to get into, just flash some higher denominatin bills around in front of their face and offer them a bottle of wine and pretend to care what they talk about. With attractive women, being nasty to them can be as or more effective than being genuine and nice, if they say something ******, tell them it's ******, if their top looks bad, tell them. This makes them think that you value your own worth above theirs, and that they have to strive to win your acceptance, instead of them being treated like a queen by someone who feels inferior. If there's some super hot girl in a group of people that you're in - don't dote on her. Make her work for your attention, it's no good to go all soppy - a woman wants a man who can defend her children against other cavemen in an alpha male battle, not some coward with no self esteem.

Don't be afraid of rejection, also the way most women reject men is enough for you to think "man, what a *****, she has no manners and no thought for other peoples feelings, why in the hell would I want to be anywhere near her... Oh well, I'm one girl closer to the one for me..." Play the numbers game, hit on 10 women in a night and you'll probably get some results.

Go and hang out in a university bar... One of the campus ones where first years go (usually they're lame), and you'll probably find some goody-girls who have their first independance and a craving for manmeat, they seem to attack anything in sight.

Have a few drinks, for a bit of dutch courage, but make sure not to get too drunk. You want to be ahead of the game, if you're soberish, and she's drunk, you've got the advantage. If you get drunk you'll just do something ****** and scare them off.

Don't be afraid to let a woman see you checking her out, smile at her (even wink!) and then ignore them. If they like the look of you it'll drive them mad that you aren't giving them attention and they'll start wiggling their bum across the dance floor to prance around in front of you.

Finally try not to be intimidated by a group of girls - they can be a formidable barrier, they might even try to shield their friend from you if they dont like you. Aproach the hot one confidently, say hello to the others then ignore them, and if they step out of line and say something snyde - call them on it! "it's not beffiting a lady like you to have such a cruel and childish tongue" etc etc... Chances are they girl you're chatting up will respect your strength of character, and she'd probably have wanted to say that to her friends before but not had the guts.

Play it like a game, dont get fixated on one woman, if you feel bad for being rejected, hit the reset button, a couple of times later you might be being dragged into the club toilets for a blowjob - on balance the humiliation (you should try and not feel like that, instead feel good that you did anything at all, and just assume that the girl who rejected you was a *****, after all - who'd have the sense to turn you down?

Oh, and BE CLEAN. If you've got spots, wash your face twice a day, use a chemists cream, maybe go to a doctor for antibiotics. Wash your hair, don't be a greaseball. Wear a little bit of some aftershave - persnally I think it's lame and pretentious wearing something like that, but hell, it turns women on so I'm willing to make that concession.

Oh, and dont be afraid of physical contact, when you're talking to a girl, touch her, touch her shoulder to get her attention (once you've already got aquainted), if you tell her you like her hair, run a couple of fingers through it, basically just get both of you comfortable with touching each other.

If she kisses you, or looks like she needs a kiss, don't try to lick her tonsils. The aim of the game isnt to choke on each others tongues - that can be nice, but best saved for other times...

Err, that's about all I can think of...

If you want to do something else to get the ladies, start getting a bit fit - do some press ups every day and build up some arm muscles - girls subconciously like to feel frail next to their man, as it excentuates their feminity.

Don't be yourself - that's completely hollow and useless advice from women - yourself at the moment is a hopeless self-esteemless kid who doesn't know what he's doing - women don't like that. What you need to do, is man up a bit...

Read a few things around on the internet - the ladder theory (google it) and some things on alpha-male-ness. Try to become less beta, more alpha.

That's enough writing - however I think that asking women for their advice on this is limited, because they will say what they think they should say. One woman might say sense of humour, charming and romantic, but will actually want a rude, selfish alpha male who treats her like ****. Women aren't honest about what they want. But the bottom line is, at your age, girls want bad guys. When they get older after being mistreated for 20 years they sort of figure out that they're being ****** and fall into relationships with normal stable safe guys, that lack the excitement they crave.

[Fallen1]

I'm a guy, and here's my advice:

Get some snappy clothes - some decent shoes - not ****ty trainers. Maybe a smart shirt. Walk with your head held high, dont skulk around looking at the floor - it's all about confidence. You could throw a drink in a girls face, and as long as you were confident about it you'd probably not do too badly. The thing that you are - desparation - is oozing out of you like sweat, and women can smell it. The focus of your life isn't getting a woman - everything wont suddenly make sense when you get laid - and you won't be happy. Women are something that compliment your life - they are enjoyable - yes - but they aren't what it's all about. You need to be comfortable with yourself and not need this woman for your self confidence. Think about it - is some needy desparate clinger going to turn you on? No.

Next up, you need to decide if you're just out to get your penis wet, or if you want something more - and how much you will need to respect or like the person of your affections. There are plenty of slappers out there who's pants are pretty easy to get into, just flash some higher denominatin bills around in front of their face and offer them a bottle of wine and pretend to care what they talk about. With attractive women, being nasty to them can be as or more effective than being genuine and nice, if they say something ******, tell them it's ******, if their top looks bad, tell them. This makes them think that you value your own worth above theirs, and that they have to strive to win your acceptance, instead of them being treated like a queen by someone who feels inferior. If there's some super hot girl in a group of people that you're in - don't dote on her. Make her work for your attention, it's no good to go all soppy - a woman wants a man who can defend her children against other cavemen in an alpha male battle, not some coward with no self esteem.

Don't be afraid of rejection, also the way most women reject men is enough for you to think "man, what a *****, she has no manners and no thought for other peoples feelings, why in the hell would I want to be anywhere near her... Oh well, I'm one girl closer to the one for me..." Play the numbers game, hit on 10 women in a night and you'll probably get some results.

Go and hang out in a university bar... One of the campus ones where first years go (usually they're lame), and you'll probably find some goody-girls who have their first independance and a craving for manmeat, they seem to attack anything in sight.

Have a few drinks, for a bit of dutch courage, but make sure not to get too drunk. You want to be ahead of the game, if you're soberish, and she's drunk, you've got the advantage. If you get drunk you'll just do something ****** and scare them off.

Don't be afraid to let a woman see you checking her out, smile at her (even wink!) and then ignore them. If they like the look of you it'll drive them mad that you aren't giving them attention and they'll start wiggling their bum across the dance floor to prance around in front of you.

Finally try not to be intimidated by a group of girls - they can be a formidable barrier, they might even try to shield their friend from you if they dont like you. Aproach the hot one confidently, say hello to the others then ignore them, and if they step out of line and say something snyde - call them on it! "it's not beffiting a lady like you to have such a cruel and childish tongue" etc etc... Chances are they girl you're chatting up will respect your strength of character, and she'd probably have wanted to say that to her friends before but not had the guts.

Play it like a game, dont get fixated on one woman, if you feel bad for being rejected, hit the reset button, a couple of times later you might be being dragged into the club toilets for a blowjob - on balance the humiliation (you should try and not feel like that, instead feel good that you did anything at all, and just assume that the girl who rejected you was a *****, after all - who'd have the sense to turn you down?

Oh, and BE CLEAN. If you've got spots, wash your face twice a day, use a chemists cream, maybe go to a doctor for antibiotics. Wash your hair, don't be a greaseball. Wear a little bit of some aftershave - persnally I think it's lame and pretentious wearing something like that, but hell, it turns women on so I'm willing to make that concession.

Oh, and dont be afraid of physical contact, when you're talking to a girl, touch her, touch her shoulder to get her attention (once you've already got aquainted), if you tell her you like her hair, run a couple of fingers through it, basically just get both of you comfortable with touching each other.

If she kisses you, or looks like she needs a kiss, don't try to lick her tonsils. The aim of the game isnt to choke on each others tongues - that can be nice, but best saved for other times...

Err, that's about all I can think of...

If you want to do something else to get the ladies, start getting a bit fit - do some press ups every day and build up some arm muscles - girls subconciously like to feel frail next to their man, as it excentuates their feminity.

Don't be yourself - that's completely hollow and useless advice from women - yourself at the moment is a hopeless self-esteemless kid who doesn't know what he's doing - women don't like that. What you need to do, is man up a bit...

Read a few things around on the internet - the ladder theory (google it) and some things on alpha-male-ness. Try to become less beta, more alpha.

That's enough writing - however I think that asking women for their advice on this is limited, because they will say what they think they should say. One woman might say sense of humour, charming and romantic, but will actually want a rude, selfish alpha male who treats her like ****. Women aren't honest about what they want. But the bottom line is, at your age, girls want bad guys. When they get older after being mistreated for 20 years they sort of figure out that they're being ****** and fall into relationships with normal stable safe guys, that lack the excitement they crave.

Um ...... Anon all I can say is WOW.

Mulletman ..... despite Anon's advice just be yourself. You want someone to like you for who you are not what you pretend to be. If they don't like you for who you are then they are not worth it. The right person will come along eventually and usually when you're not expecting it.

[anonymouswhitefemale]

At the moment, mulletman's confidence is shot. When he meets the girl who'd be his perfect partner, he wouldn't have the self-worth to pull it off. He needs to 'consumate' with a couple of women to build his confidence, allowing "himself" to actually gain confidence, and then be attractive to women, as himself. You should be yourself, but you need to mould yourself into what's attractive.


If they don't like you for who you are - you're still having sex with them.. And that's really what you're aiming for at the moment. You should be focusing on growing as a human being, and having fun - not holding out and remaining a virgin until you meet the (rare) woman that doesn't mind you having zero self confidence. Bear in mind that when women give advice on this (being yourself)- women can't separate sex and emotion (and transpose this onto your gender), whereas men can. (also, women that dont seek confidence in a man are nurturers, chances are they'll become a mother figure which isn't what you're after.)

[Little]

I would really like to say that Anon is wrong, but depending on what Mulletman wants, he is probably right.
I'm the kind of woman who will say straight out that she doesn't like nice guys. One of the first things I look for in a guy is posture. All the guys I've dated have great posture. Sure, they've had pretty eyes and been sparkling conversationalists, but I definitely go for the alpha male. It takes somebody quite confident and capable for me to really respect, and I just can't date someone who will let me push them around. Because if they let me, I probably will. I'm a bit of a bully that way, but I recognize it in myself and don't want it to happen in my relationships. I guess it's a kind of "test."
Again, it all depends on what he wants. If he wants a "meaningful relationship," he certainly should think about how well-equipped he is for being an independent force in that relationship.
If he wants to be irresistible to the kind of woman he can get into bed quickly, Anon's advice isn't too shabby.

[Guest]

At the moment, mulletman's confidence is shot. When he meets the girl who'd be his perfect partner, he wouldn't have the self-worth to pull it off. He needs to 'consumate' with a couple of women to build his confidence, allowing "himself" to actually gain confidence, and then be attractive to women, as himself. You should be yourself, but you need to mould yourself into what's attractive.


If they don't like you for who you are - you're still having sex with them.. And that's really what you're aiming for at the moment. You should be focusing on growing as a human being, and having fun - not holding out and remaining a virgin until you meet the (rare) woman that doesn't mind you having zero self confidence. Bear in mind that when women give advice on this (being yourself)- women can't separate sex and emotion (and transpose this onto your gender), whereas men can. (also, women that dont seek confidence in a man are nurturers, chances are they'll become a mother figure which isn't what you're after.)

anon - i love you, brother.

these statements contradict each other. you don't screw girls to gail confidence - this is an attitude that porn gave to you. they aren't tools by which we sharpen ourselves. they're girls. people.

and you don't grow by creating a shell of appearance fashioned after what you've been told is attractive.

if he follows this advice he'll be 40 yeears old with a long list of nameless, faceless sex partners, none of whom care about him - much less having even known him - he will have been hiding behind the appearance he crafted.

[Fallen1]

If he wants to be irresistible to the kind of woman he can get into bed quickly, Anon's advice isn't too shabby.

You're right, it all depends on what he's looking for.

I have just always had this thing about being able to be who and what you are and not have to conform to a particular style/way to get what you want/need out of life.

[anonymouswhitefemale]

anon - i love you, brother.

Aw, that warms my heart.

these statements contradict each other. you don't screw girls to gail confidence - this is an attitude that porn gave to you. they aren't tools by which we sharpen ourselves. they're girls. people.

Yes, great, women are people and not objects - I hadn't noticed . You DO gain confidence from screwing girls, and girls dig confidence - so if you're a loser with no self confidence - BONE SOME GIRLS. Christ, even getting a hooker for a night will make you feel a lot more comfortable in the dating arena.

and you don't grow by creating a shell of appearance fashioned after what you've been told is attractive.

No, you don't have to - although women don't have to wear make up or nice clothes, they could smear soot on their face and wear binbags - that doesn't mean they'll be happier. You seem to attach so much importance to what society says is good/sexy/whatever - and say that it's wrong. Well, IMO, living in said society, it's one of the most important things that's going on. I wouldn't want to get with an ugly girl, just like a girl doesn't want a wimpy virgin.

if he follows this advice he'll be 40 yeears old with a long list of nameless, faceless sex partners, none of whom care about him - much less having even known him - he will have been hiding behind the appearance he crafted.

Or he'll spend his university life shagging plenty of nice women like any ordinary guy, maybe make a few deep personal relationships and by the time he reaches an age where he wants to settle down into a serious relationship he'll have learnt a lot, and gotton a lot out of his system.

Nothing that you've said has made me re-evaluate my beliefs in this thread.