[anymore99]

Has anyone here ever experience excruciating pain from penetration?

My fiance and I have been trying to do it, but everytime it gets really painful there. We've tried orals and other methods, but it comes to penetration, the pain involuntarily makes me have this reflex of pushing him away. It's going to be my first time and I've tried masturbation, using lubes, but just when ... the head is about to get it, the pain just feels too intense from the sheer stretching of the hymen.

We've tried multiple times now, and I think because of the failed attempts/bad experiences, everytime when I think about sex, I automatically get anxious. I've talked to my best friend about it, read up on it...Does anyone have any tips?

I've seen those lubes that are supposed to de-sensitize the area down there? Anyone ever used that before?

[Ashlee T.]

Hmm. My first step would be an exam from the doctor. There are actual physical issues that can cause excruciating penetration. Vulvodynia is not terribly uncommon and there are usually things to do to help it. If you get checked out and all is well, then you'll know it's a mental block. In that case, I would probably lube up really good and try breaking the hymen myself during masturbation.

[Texasred]

anymore, I suspect what you're experiencing is not uncommon, and of course it's made worse by your tensing up in the expectation of a painful experience. See a doctor, a gynecologist, preferably a female who can understand what you're experiencing and help you solve the problem. SEE THE DOCTOR!

[anymore99]

anymore, I suspect what you're experiencing is not uncommon, and of course it's made worse by your tensing up in the expectation of a painful experience. See a doctor, a gynecologist, preferably a female who can understand what you're experiencing and help you solve the problem. SEE THE DOCTOR!

Thank you!, i went to see doctor, but everything was OK

[Little_Man_in_the_Boat]

The problem you have is either dysparunia or maybe even vaginismus.

Dysparunia is caused by lack of foreplay.

In other words your not emotionally, physically aroused enough and your partner I would say is too eager to penetrate.

Which has lead to anxiety and psychological trauma.

You to sit down and have a serious discussion with your partner and explain to him the current situation.

If I was you I would just get him behind you cuddle, hug, and practice foreplay.

Do not allow him to try to enter you.

You've sustained a psychological trauma which is causing your vagina to lock up.

The only way now is to take it very very steady.

He needs to be gentle, patient, and understanding if your going to resolve this issue.

He needs to practice foreplay I would be hugging, cuddling and caressing for weeks if not months.

Its going to be hard for him and you might need get him off another way until you're ready.

Ideally you must be wet otherwise its just going to get worse.

The problem with the human mind is it doesnt forget trauma easily.

So I would tell your partner to get behind you because its less anxiety invoking position.

I read Masters & Johnson book "Human Sexual Dysfunction" which explains it in detail with case studies and how they resolved most of the really bad cases.

From memory I think the women who were suffering from Vaginismus.

They very slowly and gently introduced a small tube or somethong like that into the vagina and maybe even left it there.

When the patient got used to the smalest tube they would very slowly and patiently introduce a slighly bigger tube while the partner was behind.

Not forcing it just very gently and very carefully easing it in a tiny bit then when she felt ok with it a bit more deeper and deeper and gradually over weeks or months she became relaxed until finally she was relaxed enough for her to take his penis.

The important thing to remember is dont rush it.

Your man needs to be very patient, kind, loving, slow and gentle.

Again foreplay is the solution.

Spend an hour if you can until you are wet enough and slowly and gently enter dont ram it in.

Ideally you'd spend an hour or two on foreplay till your both saturated in what is like sweat but its not sweat.

When your dripping wet and your vagina is dripping then your almost ready.

The onset of orgasm you'd notice your back starting to arch and your heart beating at 200 beats per minute. Hyperventilating maybe then you'll be really ready.

Thats idealy when a man should enter you and not before.

Still thats only if you have the patients to want to achieve orgasm which most people cant be bothered.

Still if you can holdout for orgasm its mind-blowing and you'll never be able to gave normal sex again.

Orgasm is a very strange phenomena and its incredibly pleasurable beyond anything you've ever experienced in your life.

Its like most experiences you have in life like for example travelling overseas to another country we have these preconceived ideas about what its like but its always different in reality.

For the man orgasm is just as mind blowing.

I'll give him some advice when he gets to that moment when suddenly hes a bit freaked out.

Just tell him to go with it !

Orgasm takes a lot of effort meaning you need a lot of foreplay to get you to the threshold of orgasm.

Its at that point that he enters you and not before.

Whether you both have the patients and perserverance to be able to achieve it is really up to you.
The important thing to rember is to build the sexual tension.

There needs to be enough erotic stimulus because without it you cant build that sexual arousal or tension.

If you can prolong that sexual arousal eventually you'll push yourself over the edge ir to the threshold of orgasm.

Just before you reach it your partner enters you.

Caveat thats where you must be very careful because anywrong move will put you off or switch your arousal off.

Wrong comment or wrong move or sonething that makes you anxious.

Its over.

I think a women must feel relaxed and not threated or anxious.
A womens mind must be focused on the pleasurable feelings inside her body not worring about anything else.

Any bad comment and wrong move will put her off.

Fear or anxiousness impedes orgasm.

When women is non critical about herself when she feels relaxed and safe - orgasm I think is inevitable.

Lights off.

Perferably moon light.

Enjoy. :-)



Still its like an exciting journey into the unknown which is both daunting yet the payoff is a life changing event.