[Con1997]

Me and my girlfriend are both inexperienced, virgins and both of us have had zero sexual experience with anyone else. We’ve been slowing building up to having sex over the last few months, going slowly as we don’t always get the chance to that stuff when together. So I’ve been giving her oral sex for a while now so we had discussion about inserting a finger inside her to increase her pleasure and as a build up to eventually having sex.

We tried this at the weekend and the issue we’re having is that whenever I get close to her vaginal opening she is in a lot of pain so obviously we never went any further than that. The area wasn’t dry at all, it was very wet so I don’t think that was the issue. I also went through lots of foreplay as I always do to make sure she is ready. She has never had anything inside her previously as she is not a tampon wearer and doesn’t masturbate.

Any advice on how we go forward from here as we both aren’t that sure on what to do now. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks.

[Ashlee T.]

Hey!! Welcome to WH! I think my first recommendation would be for her to start off on the right "sexual" foot here and get an exam from an OB/GYN. Once you become sexually active as a female, that is a really important thing to do every year anyway, so what better time to start? She should communicate this issue to her doctor, so that he/she can examine her and see if there is any issue. It could simply just be a really tight hymen that is going to be painful until it breaks. If the doc rules out any medical issues, then I'd suggest starting with literally just the tip of your index finger. Don't go any further than that. Don't poke. Don't push. Just use your hands as lightweight massagers. MOST guys are too rough when fingering, at least starting out. It is easy to understand why, as you don't have a vagina. As she begins to receive the tip of your finger with pleasure, slowly and gradually increase, literally centimeters at a time.

It's awesome that you're making the effort to try to figure this out so that you can help her to enjoy it. You seem like a very caring boyfriend.

[jns]

Me and my girlfriend are both inexperienced, virgins and both of us have had zero sexual experience with anyone else. We’ve been slowing building up to having sex over the last few months, going slowly as we don’t always get the chance to that stuff when together. So I’ve been giving her oral sex for a while now so we had discussion about inserting a finger inside her to increase her pleasure and as a build up to eventually having sex.

We tried this at the weekend and the issue we’re having is that whenever I get close to her vaginal opening she is in a lot of pain so obviously we never went any further than that. The area wasn’t dry at all, it was very wet so I don’t think that was the issue. I also went through lots of foreplay as I always do to make sure she is ready. She has never had anything inside her previously as she is not a tampon wearer and doesn’t masturbate.

Any advice on how we go forward from here as we both aren’t that sure on what to do now. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks.

Welcome to WH!

Guys fingers are often rough, many times from working. Even when being gentle, the roughness is there. Try putting a condom over your index finger before the next intimate play session and use sex lube.