[astrohall]

i apologize if this isn't in the correct section, im new oof

but uhh, im afraid of my mom finding out i used to masturbate (im a minor). about a year ago i used a cucumber (dumb and unsanitary, right?) and i think it tore my hymen really bad, i was bleeding and it hurt when i urinated. but, this was a year ago and i don't really do stuff like that anymore. would it be healed or would it be visible? i just really don't want my mom finding out :"))

[atskitty2]

Why or how would she find out? What's going on that you think she'll be knowing what's going on in your private areas? Do you have a gynecological exam coming up that you anticipate her being involved in? Even as a minor, your body is yours. It's nobody's business what you've done during masturbation, though I strongly encourage you to just be straight with her if it ever did come up. You don't have to share details, just something like, "yeah, I think I tore it while playing with myself"...chances are she'd be as embarrassed as you and not ask more questions...but she may.

Most girls masturbate. There's nothing wrong with that, and it's nothing to be ashamed of. The fact that you used a cucumber, isn't terribly uncommon I think. Yeah, it's not a good idea, but you survived, right? And yes, you may have, probably did, tear your hymen. That's ok. Nothing to worry about. Girls can lose that piece of tissue for many different reasons, and some of us are apparently born without one. It's possible it healed, but there's no way to know for sure, without an exam.

So, I'm not sure why you're asking, but I'd encourage you not to worry too much. If you prefer your parent not to be in the room for an exam, you can ask the physician to do the exam privately. If that is not an option, you can also call ahead and speak with the nurse, explaining your apprehension. They are obligated to keep this confidential, and should be accommodating to your needs and wishes, as long as there's no danger to your health or safety.

I know it's embarrassing and it isn't easy to talk about, but my guess is that your mom is concerned about you, and would be your best friend and confidante if you ever needed one. She's looking out for you, for your health and well being. You have your privacy, and she'd probably be respectful of that. Being open and honest with her may not be as bad as you think.

[astrohall]

hey, thank ya for replying. im just really worried about my mom finding out yknow? also, sometimes at the doctor they examine your lower area to see if anythings wrong.

[atskitty2]

If you're going for an exam with your general doctor, chances are they won't do a pelvic exam, unless there's something you mention that would require immediate attention. A gynecologist would likely be the only one to do that, and your GP would send you there for diagnosis and treatment of any pelvic issues. So, you probably have nothing to worry about.

[Ashlee T.]

When I was a small child, my pediatrician did a very basic pelvic exam during physicals. I think at that time it was to look for any signs of sexual abuse. I also had frequent UTI's due to a small urethra, and UTI's are often cause by sexual abuse in children so that could've been part of the reason he checked.

As a teenager, no doctor ever did a pelvic exam. I did not have one again I saw my first Gyn at age 18.

Masturbation is normal. I would give it no concern. If the doctor asks if you are sexually active, and you are not, simply say no. Even if the doctor can tell, you will not be the first young person they've examined who has masturbated. Trust me.