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My boyfriend would rather masturbate..

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  • My boyfriend would rather masturbate..

    Straight to the point..
    my boyfriend would rather masturbate than have sex with me. He will masturbate in the next room while I’m home, he will wait until I fall asleep.. even after I try to initiate sex. He will do it during work before getting home to me.. etc.
    when we first got together he couldn’t keep his hands off me.. we broke up but we were very much still sexually activate.. to where I found out he was sleeping with his 2 ex’s in which he admitted his sexual needs involves more than one woman in his life.
    now that we are exclusively back together he has promised his faithfulness.. we don’t have sex.. at all. He doesn’t even kiss me or show me any affection. He isn’t talking to any other women, but all he cares for is masturbation.
    I tried watching porn with him, and he loved it.. so I tried to do it again recently and it didn’t have the same effect.
    is he getting bored? Does he resent me? Does he only want me when he is “attracted to my variety” at the moment..?
    Its hurting me and our relationship severely.
    i have an extremely high sex drive especially for a woman that I feel is commendable and admirable especially by my past relationships..
    but im about to start a family and life with this man that would rather watch or read about other women having sex than just being with me..
    we have toys, and we do all kinds of positions it’s never boring, but am I just boring to him? Not the act itself?

  • To me it sounds like a control thing. It sounds passive aggressive. I would get the issues resolved before going forward.
    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
    ...
    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

    From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

    Comment


    • I'm going to be very blunt here: Get out of this relationship.

      This is someone you are not sexually compatible with. Yes, it sounds like he has some sexual issues, but the bottom line is he not only doesn't give you what you need, he doesn't even seem to WANT to give you what you need. It has become all about him, what he needs, when he needs it, etc. I believe when he told you he'd not be happy only having sex with one woman, he was telling you the truth. He was telling you who he is. Now, listen to him. Is this who you want to spend your life with? Do you want to spend the rest of your life not feeling sexually desired while your husband masturbates to other women in the next room?

      The writing is on the wall here. Read it, girl.
      "Be what you're looking for."

      Comment


      • What they said, plus this simple advice: GET.OUT.NOW!
        There's no upside with this guy, he's got deep deep.problems, don't let him drag you down with him.

        Comment


        • Agreed with members above..but bc I am/was .a guy just like ur bf except I am married. I used to masturbate 2-3 times a day and sex once every 1 or 2 months. I did it bc I loved the scenarios and fantasies that porn enabled me to live vicariously through. Not so much the women in porn with unrealistic bodies, in fact I craved the realistic/amateur style porn. But I did not become such a porn maniac until after several years after our marriage.

          But what ur bf does is what I do/did. Sometimes it's out of habit. I won't even be horny but I just feel the need to ejaculate and masturbation is the easiest and visually/mentally/ and the fastest. Sex requires a lot more physically also and it's hard to reach climax sometimes.

          But the fact that u tried watching porn with him is amazing. My wife hates porn and feels it degrades women. I don't blame her. Most of my porn falls under 'porn for women genre'. But since we are already married we tried to work it out and by work it out, I tried to cut out porn entirely, but instead I just have sex more often and be more careful with the porn and masturbation as to not get caught.

          Comment

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