[LibrarianNerd]

I have some questions for anyone willing to listen to and hopefully answer!

My guy and I are still new to our relationship, but we have had sex close to 10 times now. While I do enjoy our sex, I have found I have not orgasmed from our sex, the only time I have come close in any way shape or form is when he was using his fingers and mouth on me. I enjoyed it but still did not quite come. I want to know if anyone has any tips to help with that? as well as bring to his attention that I would like to have more foreplay in our sex and have more full body attention. He is a very nice guy and does try to bring me pleasure and when I do let him know I did not come, he does get very upset and feels bad that he did not bring me to come as I can to him.

what I am trying to get at, is how should I approach him with my questions about wanting to do more than just have penetrative sex be the dominant part of our sexual interactions and any tips for a young woman to have a better time during sex? any help is seriously appreciated

[Ashlee T.]

Hey! Well, I should first say that what you're experiencing is not unusual and I think you all can definitely work through it.

So, I have some questions for you first:

1. Have you had sex with others before him?
2. If so, did you achieve orgasm with them?
3. If so, what did they do differently?
4. Do you (or did you) masturbate often?
5. Do you feel nervous during sex with him? That would be normal since it's a new relationship?
6. Are you both possibly TOO focused on the finish line to enjoy the race?

[atskitty2]

A discussion like this can be difficult for both parties. It takes very open, honest communication to improve this. Talk to him at a time other than when things are getting sexy. Once you're headed to the bedroom, is not the time to bring it up. So, find an opportunity while walking the dog, or when your favorite flick is rolling the credits.
Then open it up, by just asking how he thinks things are going with your sex life. Keep it very neutral. It's about you both learning how to please each other, and working together to achieve that.

I agree with what Ashlee has asked above. This is a common happening in new sexual relationships, and it is something that can absolutely be worked through with 2 people open to communicate and put in the effort. Keep us posted.