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My girl tells me shes totally sexually satisfied without orgasm. Is she honest?

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  • My girl tells me shes totally sexually satisfied without orgasm. Is she honest?

    Hello i am a man, but i need your help girls all over the world! Help the man on duty. I really love her. We are young in our early 20's. She initates sex and wants it we do it like 2x times a week when we meet at home. She always wants to do it more than once. But she wont orgasm. She says shes totally happy with our sex life and shes satisfied but she doesnt have orgasm, altough she really tells me shes totally satisfied and wants more, wants to try more things etc. She always wants to have sex with me, once shes on top, once me, we try various positions, we are having fun as hell during our sex, i can last really long and i am giving her oral, finger pleasure. I am doing everything to make her fulfilled and she claims she is happy, but she doesnt have orgasm. She is lying to me to make me feel calm or she really can be fully satisfied without reaching orgasm and like sexually fulfilled? i have pretty big penis, something Like 18–20 cm. Of course i know that size doesnt matter that much. She loves IT, just no orgasm bothers me because i AM really passionate lover. She really claims shes happy and 100% fulfilled after every sex we have, he looks exhausted and calm. She cuddles after, says i love you etc. It sounds perfect and it is really, just my proud keeps asking; can she really be 100% fulfilled sexually without reaching orgasm if she says so, or she doesnt want to hurt my feelings? I really want to believe her and i think i believe her, but i need to know opinion of more woman as i have no idea if it can be possible. She really, really loves me and i feel her, she claims our life is perfect in every way, but i am just not so calm untill i hear others opinion

  • And to add one more thing if it matters; she is really sleepy after our sex

    Comment


    • One of the things that caught my eye about your post is your mention of you both being in your early 20s. Let me start by saying that when your girl says she’s happy with your sex life, she likely IS —a woman actually can enjoy sex even if she doesn’t reach orgasm for some reason.

      (Granted, an orgasm makes sex even better, but it is usually an enjoyable experience with or without one.)

      That said, her age is what caught my eye. It can take a long time for women to learn “how” to have an orgasm through sex with a partner, especially when they are young. You’re not doing anything “wrong” and it’s great that you’re actively trying new things together. It sounds to me like it’s more a matter of her finding what works for her, and that takes practice and time.

      Has she ever had an orgasm, do you know? Even through masturbation by herself – has she ever reached climax? If she hasn’t, she just might not really know how to get there (or what it will take for her to get there).

      It could also be her frame of mind during sex — if she feels inhibited for any reason (like being self-conscious about her taste or smell during oral sex, for instance), that can create a mental block that makes it difficult to reach orgasm.

      One method that might help is to let her “drive” so to speak — rather than switch positions often, let her be on top and control the movement to see if she can bring herself to orgasm that way (start to finish). Oftentimes, women have an easier time reaching orgasm when they’re on top because of the clitoral stimulation against their partner’s pubic bone. But if she’s on top, she can really spend some time figuring out what feels good and what brings her closer to climax (or all the way there).

      Additionally, be patient. Especially if she’s worried about letting you down or hurting your feelings because she’s not reaching orgasm during sex, that might add its own pressure and mental block, making it difficult to climax. Women may take longer to reach orgasm during sex and in the back of her mind, she might be worried that she’s not getting there fast enough, and then she’s too preoccupied with those thoughts to actually climax.

      Reaching orgasm is more than just a physical feat; it is a mental one, especially for women.

      But when she tells you that she is enjoying sex even without an orgasm — believe her. She probably is (and you’d likely be able to tell if she wasn’t, based on her own visual cues/reactions).

      Comment


      • If you want to experience an orgasm understand that its not easy to achieve. The most important thing to learn is foreplay. how long you spend on foreplay determines whether she will achieve orgasm. Most men make the mistake of entering before a girl/women is ready. If she's not wet down there don't enter. Mistakes people make is over emphasis on rubbing a women's clitoral hood or clitoris. that's not really ideal. too much rubbing or friction means she'll get sore after awhile and that's not good at all. romance is what women like. take her out for a nice meal. then later if she is in the mood kiss her. learn to kiss very gently and very slowly. I don't mean a sloppy wet dribble kiss with a ton of saliva. Understand that you should look at sex as a end goal. that's not good. You must have the attitude of making your love making as pleasurable as possible. slow, caring, considerate, gentle. the objective with any women is to get her so hot and aroused and horny that she wants it constantly its a win/win. the best thing about a women's orgasm is that it make your own pleasure much much better. Believe me very few men will ever understand that unless they are able to achieve it. Its only after you achieve it that you understand much more about orgasm.

        Comment


        • Adding my two cents here as well. If your partner is telling you she's satisfied, she probably is. Like others have said here, orgasms aren't always easy for women to achieve. I know I've read some studies stating that penetration alone normally isn't enough for most women to have an orgasm.

          As others said, this doesn't mean sex is bad, that you're doing something wrong etc. It might just be a process of taking your time, her figuring out what she does and doesn't enjoy, etc. Keeping an open dialogue is always a good move, though, and hopefully she knows she can tell you as things progress if things change.

          Comment


          • panzwierzak I totally get where you are coming from -- no pun intended!

            When I was younger, if a woman didn't orgasm, I was seriously offended and hurt and felt like I was not a good lover.

            As I got older, I realized that not all women can have orgasms (or at least have learned to have them) and I focused more on being present and in the moment rather than the outcome itself.

            I can tell you from experience, that when a woman that really loves and cares about you tells you that she is satisfied with your sex life while not having an orgasm, believe her.

            If you are far enough along the curve in terms of your relationship, you are past parts of being shy or dishonest -- if she wanted something, she will ask for it more likely than not.

            So for example, if she asks for certain positions, maybe oral, anal or something else -- then do what she wants, and even if she doesn't have an orgasm, know that she is enjoying it because she asked for those things, so she is actively engaged.

            Also, make sure that she masturbates on her own -- without you around -- so she can experiment without the pressure of having to cum, and can learn her body. Some women figure out what works for them after a lot of trial and error, and sometimes it involves a LOT of stuff at the same time to completely arouse them.

            We're all built differently.

            As you get older, you'll understand that not all outcomes of sex end in orgasms. Sometimes, just the pleasure of being with that person in certain ways is pleasure enough.

            Relax...take a deep breath and put your ego away in the closet while you focus on what sounds like a wonderful woman.

            Comment


            • When I was in my 20s and still dating, I definitely told men that I was "fine" not having an orgasm during sex. At the time I didn't realize that more than 70% of women do not tend to climax during intercourse. I thought there was something wrong with me and didn't want to be difficult. I was also taken in by that whole 'women's bodies are a complex mystery men can't be expected to understand' nonsense.

              As others have pointed out, she may be being completely honest. Or, she may be saying that she's more comfortable forgoing her own orgasm than she would be trying to have one--especially if she isn't sure why she hasn't had one yet.

              I would urge you to talk about this somewhere that's not in the bedroom, in the context of general wants and needs. Let's be honest--orgasms are pretty great and everyone who wants one should have them.

              Comment

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