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  • HIV Risk

    Hi all sorry if this is in the wrong place unsure where to put it please feel free to move it.

    I am just looking for some information mainly to calm my overactive mind. I don’t even know why I have done this. Yesterday I touched a mans penis who I have not been with before and never intend to again. It was only for around 10 seconds.

    He had already pulled his foreskin back and was masturbating himself when I took over. Like I said it only took 10 seconds and I stopped he didnt cum but afterwards I was aware of some “pre-cum” on my hand. The reason I am worried is I noticed a small crack on my thumb. Its by the corner of my thumb nail in an area I don’t think would have come into contact with his skin or bodily fluid I’m just wondering what my risks are if I did touch something. Obviously I know he would have to have HIV but I can’t ask him. It isn’t a cut its more like a dry skin crack not very big.

    thanks in advance for any help

  • Hi Midlady,

    I did some cursory research on this (because I honestly didn't know) and from what I can tell — the greatest risk of transmitting HIV through this type of contact (skin on the hand and precum) is if the cut on your hand is deep, open, and actually bleeding. If it's just a crack that isn't bleeding or deep, it's likely that you did not contract anything through this contact — assuming he has HIV.

    That said, I'm not a medical expert and far from it — and it might be worth reaching out to your doctor (or even his/her nursing staff) on the phone just to put your mind at ease.

    At the same time, however, you mention that you "can't" ask him about his HIV/STD status — is this because you can't actually make contact with him to do so, or because you feel like you can't approach him about it? Because if it's the latter, know that you CAN and should ask about anyone's STD status if you have sexual contact with them. (And that goes both ways — sexual partners can and should do the same to you, it's part of having sex responsibly.)

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    • I am also not trained in medicine, but having read about HIV over the last 40 years, literature about it indicates that it is fairly hard to transfer in a single contact. Although a crack on your thumb is a concern, it should not be a great concern unless the situation repeats many times. If you had an open sore, it would be of more concern.
      I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
      ...
      Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

      From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

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