[Rabbit7419]

I become a sexual addicted after my first marriage. My ex-wife loves this kind of intercourse and me too. Sadly we broke up the relationship last year. Now I have a girlfriend who doesn't accept anal sex. After ten years of practice it I don't find any pleasure in vaginal sex. To satisfy my GF I have masturbate me with my penis insider her vagina. It's horrific. What should I do? Help me.

[Wednesday L.F.]

If sex with your girlfriend is "horrific," you might consider whether this relationship is right for you.

[jns]

I become a sexual addicted after my first marriage. My ex-wife loves this kind of intercourse and me too. Sadly we broke up the relationship last year. Now I have a girlfriend who doesn't accept anal sex. After ten years of practice it I don't find any pleasure in vaginal sex. To satisfy my GF I have masturbate me with my penis insider her vagina. It's horrific. What should I do? Help me.

If sex with your girlfriend is "horrific," you might consider whether this relationship is right for you.

If you and your girlfriend wish to spend the time and effort, you should be able to retrain your body to find pleasure from vaginal sex. It will be a matter of psychological conditioning starting with no sexual release on your part unless it is by vaginal sex. Abstain from everything but foreplay for several days, then have vaginal sex. If you don't climax, repeat. After a while your body will reach climax unless there is a medical reason for not reaching climax. You can continue giving her oral as part of the foreplay. While you are down there, you might find out just how fascinating her vagina is.

[Rabbit7419]

If sex with your girlfriend is "horrific," you might consider whether this relationship is right for you.

Horrific for both of us, of course. Imagine how my GF feels when I need masturbate inside her vagina to complete the intercourse. It's caused by anal addiction. The best and tight vagina doesn't satisfy me. Just ***. Horrific the situation, not the woman, ok?

[Rayn]

Well I'm married now. But over the years, I've been inside many vaginas. Granted some are better than others for varying reasons, but i have yet to come across or in one that I'd describe as horrific. I also wouldn't say that you're an anal addict either, although you may be conditioned for it.

First, it sounds like the two of you may not be sexually compatable. The key here is to communicate and be open to the things that pleases each otner. There will be some adjustments here, especially with a new partner. But try to find a common ground. If you can't do that, neither of you will be happy or satisfied with the sexual aspect of your relationship.

Second, if you're willing, you can recondition your body. Remember, our bodies are generically and physically designed for vaginal sex. As you mentioned, over 10 years you became conditioned for anal sex. So therefore you can become conditioned for vaginal sex. And that's not to say that anal sex will never be an option again. But your new girlfriend will need to be open for it. Here's a thought that you can bring up. Perhaps during sex, you can start out vaginal so she's satisfied then finish anal so you're satisfied.

[MrMr]

My current fwb is one of few women who have actively encouraged anal. Previously I've often been too thick to fit in. Sex is meant to be enjoyed by everyone so if one aspect isn't then simply find one that is

[ScorchedEarth]

My wife was raised in a religiously conservative family and was quite prudish when we tight the knot.

I was able to subtly get her into enjoying anal sex. One day, I was sitting in chair, she straddled my lap and we were kissing. I then slipped my hand down the back of pants, and VERY GENTLY worked the tip of my middle finger into her butt-hole. (I’d suggest wetting it with saliva, first) She started climaxing right away. She looked at me with contorted face and said: “you’re naaaasty!” But made no effort to stop me.

With patience the finger was eventually replace by the penis and she enjoyed it. Sometimes when I was doing her vaginally from behind, she’d say: “Honey: stick it in my bum!” My wife is a black woman with a beautiful bubble-butt that I thoroughly enjoyed sodomizing.

Sadly, after menopause, her anxiety disorder kicked in and now she’s back to conservative style sex. Oh well; it was enjoyable while it lasted.

[Butt]

Why is everybody twisting this gentleman's words? He didn't call his partner horrific or her vagina horrific. He says the act of having to masturbate himself while inside of his partner is what is horrific for both of them. This man's penis is only satisfied by anus (or his own hand). His partner is unwilling to surrender her anus. I feel that unless his partner grows to enjoy anal sex (doubtful), or he suddenly finds vaginally coitus pleasureable (not likely), their relationship is doomed. Now, there is the option of Rabbit finding butt elsewhere. I personally enjoy receiving anal sex, and if Rabbit was in my area, I would be happy to hang my gloryhole curtain so we could get off together. As long as he is 100% disease-free. Odds are, her is nowhere near me. So sadly, he will have to figure this one out on his own by either ending his relationship or finding some butt on the side.

[JonnyR]

Hello willson0324 --> I certainly hear this!

I think with any type of sex - anal sex included - it can become tied emotionally to the person you are with, regardless of the act itself, as a means of feeling bonded and comfortable.

I've had similar experiences throughout my life where I was "used" to doing things a certain way with a long term partner, and when I got into a new relationship, I would try the same way of doing things -- whether mutual masturbation, foreplay, or sex itself -- and find the new partner didn't "do it right" or derive the same pleasure from the experience.

At first, it threw me.

I then started a new approach: finding and figuring out NEW ways of being with that person that were unique to us and them, without bringing anything pre-determined into the relationship or experience.

This was freeing because it allowed me to be open to whatever would transpire -- and sure enough, each person had their own way of expression, pleasure, gratification, and giving that I would adapt to and learn to love as its own entity.

I would approach this the same way -- what are some of the unique traits and characteristics of your current partner, or their way of being or approaching or doing sex, that you REALLY love and appreciate and get turned on by?

I bet you can find multiple. Focus on those, enhance them, and then add your own spice to them. I bet they'll be open to "trying" new things within those new paradigms.

For example, what about annalingus? What about just using a finger in the butt while you are having sex vaginaly (I usually -and my partners too -- find this extremely stimulating and usually makes them cum quickly), etc.

Try stuff -- including being honest.

Sometimes the most erotic sex sessions I've ever had were AFTER being brutally honest with someone about whatever issue we were facing. Something about tearing down boundaries, being true to ourselves and letting it all go in vulnerability becomes an aphrodisiac that goes far beyond any individual act.