Just advice

[Sakima]

I am very, very disabled due to a very severe stroke in my early 40's. I live alone and have, female, carers come in, get me up and do my meals etc. One thing they have had to do recently is massage cream into my thighs for muscle spasms. I find this quite erotic and stimulating, and therefore I start to get an erection, so by the time they have finished massaging, I have a full erection. 2 are about half my age, and are obviously not bothered about it. [They are very, very good n close friends with each other.] 1 of them commented on the size of it the other day, as it gets quite big I suppose. Anyway, I am concerned that it will leak, or more during a massage.




What should I do? [Not that I can do much about it.]

[Wednesday L.F.]

First, call the agency and ask for male doctors.

Second, consider whether or not you want the health aides fired. No way no how should they be commenting on your body. That’s grossly unprofessional and borders on harassment, especially during a medical procedure. You may also have cause for a lawsuit.

I'm so sorry you were objectified that way by medical staff. I hope it hasn’t impeded your health. You shouldn’t have to worry about your body’s natural responses due to the workers lack of professionalism.

[Claret]

As a former Health Care Professional (RN) in the first place you should never have been exposed as fully as you infer you were. Aides, nurses, doctors, etc. are all taught to preserve modesty, especially when being cared for such as cleaning, and the massage that you were given. Draping techniques would have given you some privacy. Yes, complain to the agency, request that male aides be provided, or at least not the one that said the comment.

[Sakima]

Unfortunately it's not as simple as 'Speak to the agency' as all my carers are private carers and are employed by me.
Agencies don't really cover this area, and consequently 'carers' in this area are very, very, very, very rare. So in a way I am lucky to have them.

They are both single mums, of around mid-thirties, spend an awful lot of time together, and look after each others kids when they are on shift, but they have popped in together, and when they did, they were a 'flirty' nightmare, very funny though.

I do get on with them both very, very well, and nothing appears too much trouble for them. They are good carers and are eager to please.