[Jpark121298]

Hi, I’m new to this. I’m (27M)I have been with my gf (27f) for 4 yrs now. We haven’t lived together yet but I love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her. Our sex life is okay. I can’t last that long so I’ve been doing more fore play and satisfying my gf as much as I can and her clit so she can come before I do. Recently she’s mad at me cuz I can’t make her come from vagina. I told her I did it with my ex before, cuz she asked me about it and I wanted to be honest with her. I’m trying my best to help her and ask her what I can do. She even join a class to teach her how to do that but she hasn’t been fallowing it. I can make her come from clit for sure. However, she doesn’t like to masturbate and can barely make herself come from her clit and she never had a vagina orgasm before. she doesn’t like to try it herself to make herself orgasm from her vagina. Now she’s really really mad at me for not trying. Am I really a ****ty bf that can’t help her? I really try my best and always ask her what I can help her but all I got is “idk” from her. I’m really confused right now. What can I do to help her? thank u so much

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[Jpark121298]

To add some more detail, my gf and I have been trying and experimenting with my finger and dildo. Her instructor says no vibrator and no clit simulation for vagina orgasm.

[Wednesday L.F.]

Hi there,

first of all, I’m intensely curious about this class and would love to know more. You’re welcome to DM me info about it.

The most important thing you remember in your situation is that every woman is different. Orgasms are impacted by things like mood, anatomy. Angles, pressure, and more. Ideally, she needs to know how to orgasm alone so she can explain her needs and wants to you. There are toys, some of which do not vibrate, that are specifically geared toward different types of Os. Or even better—blended ones. That may help you both figure it out.

That said, orgasms are awesome, but not the only good reason for shared intimacy with your partner.

[MeLuvCookies]

I would love to learn how to do this better as well, not because I want to do nothing but vaginal penetration but because that is all my wife says she wants or enjoys. Over time she has literally taken everything off the table except vaginal penetration and just through intercourse, no fingers no toys. She doesn't want any foreplay, no massages, I can't go down on her. She doesn't like talking or fantasies or fingering or toys and the only kissing is like closed mouth. These are all her limits not mine. I would do anything that made her cum. I'd bake brownies if it got her off. I am trying desperately to respect her boundaries and still find a way to satisfy her sexually but as you can probably guess doing nothing but intercourse with no warmup of any kind allowed doesn't always feel good for her and frankly isn't very satisfying for me either and it makes it really really hard for me to reliably get her to orgasm. I think that I do and she is not always faking just based on her physical reactions and trying to believe her at her word. Like I would think if she was faking she might fake it a little more so I think I do get her there some but not often given the restrictions.

So if there are any tips or tricks to getting a woman off if all your are allowed to do is vaginal penetration I would be all ears. I would kill to learn how to satisfy her totally within her boundaries instead of always feeling frustrated and like I'm doomed to failure going into sex.

[Wednesday L.F.]

That’s a tough one. I’m inclined to say that getting to the root of her inhibitions might help. But if neither or you wants that, then you don’t.

If you don’t already have one, a Kama sutra may give you ideas for positions that will meet both your needs.

[MeLuvCookies]

Thanks. I have always been 100 percent down for getting to the root of her inhibitions. Actually the root causes are probably clear, history of childhood abuse, the body image issues, an upbringing with a mother who very clearly was not only not sex positive and not very encouraging but also uptight and afraid of literally everything, and most recently menopause seems to have turned me wife's attitudes towards sex into something out of the Handmaid's Tale. Like she is literally becoming more prudish as time goes on not more relaxed and open.

The issue has not been identifying the causes. It is that she does not want to do anything to deal with them. She doesn't want to do the work and justifies not wanting to do the work by saying it is not an issue and this is the only thing she likes and if the one thing she is willing to do doesn't work to turn her on and get her off well then she throws up her hands and gives up and says she just doesn't care and just wants sex to be about me getting off to "get the poison out" as she says. Sometimes I feel like she wants it to be just a chore and literally fights any attempts I make to make it not a chore for her and to try to make it enjoyable for her. It is a weird position to be in as a guy. Destroyed my self esteem for sure.

I don't have a Kama Sutra book but willing to try any position she will try and any position that gives her pleasure. She used to like getting on top and she used to like many different variations of missionary and she used to like one thing that was not intercourse where I could sort of grind against her clit till I made her cum. But she has literally shut down anything other than intercourse and penetration saying that all that other stuff is like being with a girl and she isn't a lesbian and doesn't want to be played with she just wants to get right to it. Yeah it is ridiculous I know but I can't change her attitude only she can. And she says getting on top hurts her now and feels too deep when she used to love it. So my available tools I can use keep getting fewer and fewer and it feels more and more like a mission impossible where I am doomed to fail going in every time now. I am afraid of becoming that loser who can never make his wife cum and goes the rest of his life without experiencing that amazing feeling of giving your wife an orgasm, or several, again. And that freaks me out big time. I just can't understand why she doesn't want to enjoy sex and literally fights against me to not enjoy sex. Like why wouldn't she to try to feel pleasure too. Why would she fight and shut down any attempt I make to find ways to give her pleasure. Its so bizarre that I am fighting to make sex more about my wife's pleasure and she is fighting to just make it about fulfilling my base needs. Weird dynamic.

[DNT]

I would love to learn how to do this better as well, not because I want to do nothing but vaginal penetration but because that is all my wife says she wants or enjoys. Over time she has literally taken everything off the table except vaginal penetration and just through intercourse, no fingers no toys. She doesn't want any foreplay, no massages, I can't go down on her. She doesn't like talking or fantasies or fingering or toys and the only kissing is like closed mouth. These are all her limits not mine. I would do anything that made her cum. I'd bake brownies if it got her off. I am trying desperately to respect her boundaries and still find a way to satisfy her sexually but as you can probably guess doing nothing but intercourse with no warmup of any kind allowed doesn't always feel good for her and frankly isn't very satisfying for me either and it makes it really really hard for me to reliably get her to orgasm. I think that I do and she is not always faking just based on her physical reactions and trying to believe her at her word. Like I would think if she was faking she might fake it a little more so I think I do get her there some but not often given the restrictions.

So if there are any tips or tricks to getting a woman off if all your are allowed to do is vaginal penetration I would be all ears. I would kill to learn how to satisfy her totally within her boundaries instead of always feeling frustrated and like I'm doomed to failure going into sex.

Again and an old post I know with the OP probably finding greener pastures by now, but for wanting to get my 2 cents in here, anyway and for a just in case someone else might have a similar problem.

OK then and the way I see it with however it gets accomplished, there needs to be some massaging of the clitoris, so if if it's missionary style for her, then he needs to bring himself up and over for the top part of his penis to do the rubbing. Short strokes are also necessary, as to stay in her vagina during penetration and some might find it better if she's laying flat with her legs together and yes, you can do it this way with some women initiating it. Ask me how I know...lol
If push comes to shove, just let the penis do the rubbing and forget the penetration, which should get her off, if she's like most. But one must keep in mind, that the mind itself, is the biggest sex organ.

When in doggie mode, it's going to be a downward motion and once you get going good with some pounding taking place, the testicles can do a lot for making contact with her clitoris. And again, there can be a lot of rubbing going on, without penetration.