[Acesup]

OK this probably a weird sounding take from a guy. But I get bombarded with those ads you see for stuff on Facebook, probably because I search for anything to help the sex life problems I have in my marriage. And I saw this ad the other day for this stuff called Woo. It appears to be coconut oil based lube. Which that's great for helping wetness and all that. That's great. I fully support that idea and products to help women or anybody enjoy sex more.

But what ****ed me off was their advertising tagline was that it would make going down on a woman taste good again. Huh? Like f&*%ck you!!!

Like maybe I am overly sensitive because I LOVE LOVE LOVE going down on a woman and my wife won't let me for more than a few seconds because she says she is self conscious about it and thinks the whole concept of it is gross. But that really ****ed me off that a commercial product would be using an advertising strategy basically telling women that their vaginas smell bad or taste bad and they should spend money on this product to solve that.

Like first of all as a man let me say I don't want coconut flavored vagina. I like original flavor better any day of the week and twice on Sunday. Your product is not making going down on a woman taste better. Stop it. Did we not learn anything from the New Coke incident in the 1980s. Classic Coke always tastes better.

But more importantly. Can we stop putting self conscious baggage onto women about how they taste as a marketing strategy to make money off the self conscious complexes you are giving them. For the love of God can we stop doing that already. Cause what you end up with is women who have been told so much that their bodies are gross and they smell gross or taste gross that they believe it and then they hate their bodies and are self conscious about their bodies. And then they don't feel comfortable letting their husbands go down on them and eat them. And guys like me who REALLY love it and REALLY want to end up being punished and we all end up missing out on the great pleasure of it because some company had to scent shame women for profit.

I've seen the same marketing strategy with other products for years. This deodorant stuff called Lume talking about spraying it in your thigh folds. Like stop it. Ain't nothing wrong with the way a woman's thigh folds naturally smell and taste and mango and cucumber flavor ain't the answer. Same thing with these flavored wipes I saw advertised called Sweetums. Like literally the whole marketing strategy was telling women to buy Sweetums flavored vaginal wipes and then they would taste better and their boyfriends would love going down on them more. Ridiculous. Straight up body shaming and giving women unnecessary complexes to try to get them to buy stuff.

Between all that kind of messaging, and the constant advertising from medical websites like Hers trying to make women feel fat to try to sell them GLP shots and diet drugs like its just ridiculous. We all get enough baggage thrown on us growing up to make us all traumatized and messed up for life and hating ourselves. That job is already getting done. So can the companies please stop adding to it as an advertising strategy. Because honestly as a husband and a man who desperately wants my wife to feel good and comfortable about her body and enjoy sharing her body with me I am kind of getting sick and tired of feeling like I have to fight against every image and every message and every advertisement out there. Its too much and you can't win.

But just in general the marketing strategy of making people feel terrible about themselves to make money off of them is disgusting and the people responsible for that type of advertising should be ashamed of themselves. They can so straight to hell and not pass go and not collect $200.

[JonnyR]

Acesup I hear where you’re coming from, and honestly a lot of people share that frustration. A big chunk of the sexual wellness industry has historically made money by first convincing people that something about their body is “wrong,” then selling the solution.

That can absolutely create unnecessary shame, especially around perfectly normal things like natural scent or taste.

I know personally that vaginas all have a slightly different taste and smell -- pH differences, and whatnot, which can be intoxicating, alluring or frankly, a turn off, depending on the person.

The reality is that healthy bodies — men’s and women’s — have natural smells and tastes. That’s biology, not a defect.

For many partners, that’s part of the experience, not something that needs to be erased or flavored. So your instinct to push back against messaging that makes women feel like they need to be “fixed” isn’t crazy at all.

At the same time, some people do choose products like lubes or washes simply because they like them, not because they’re ashamed. The problem isn’t really the products themselves — it’s when the marketing leans on insecurity to sell them.

What stood out to me most in your post, though, is how much you want your wife to feel comfortable in her body. That’s a good instinct.

Unfortunately, once someone internalizes that kind of self-consciousness, it usually takes more than logic to unwind it. Feeling safe, desired, and unjudged over time tends to matter more than arguments about whether the messaging out there is wrong.

I’m curious about a couple of things.

Has your wife ever said where her discomfort about receiving oral actually comes from — is it scent concerns, body image, or something else entirely? And when you talk about it with her, does she feel pressure to change, or does she feel like you’re just trying to understand her experience?

Sometimes those conversations end up being less about the body itself and more about how safe someone feels being that vulnerable.

[atskitty2]

Acesup I hear what you're saying, and I agree with JonnyR as well. Let me add just a few other thoughts on this as well.

There can be preferences, and then things we just don't prefer, and things we really don't like at all. When it comes to personal scent, there's a decent amount of research, and anecdotal evidence for attraction based on a person's scent. It's an interesting deep dive, if you ever have an extra minute.
I know I, personally, have a very "carnal", lusty response to my partner when we've been out on a hike, he's sweaty and "stinks"...or after he's come in from a run, and he's not exactly fresh...
Adding to the point made by JonnyR, there's definitely a trust, a confidence and comfort level between us that allows us to be ok with being that way together. Yes, we shower before any penetration, but there's been times, it was hard to wait.

We all need to manage expectations and influences by ads, social media and social pressures. We have that challenge in everything we do, from what brand of cheese to buy, to our cars, and everything in between.

[JonnyR]

Yep, I can certainly attest to this -- when you are really comfy with someone, even if something is "off" it's not an issue, and in some cases, as I've said, it was an immense turn on.

There was a woman I was dating one time, where things weren't working out with us, and I was in the process of ending things, and she must not have showered for a while, because she definitely had some body odor.

The funny thing was, instead of being a turn off, it was a major turn ON -- and while in the midst of breaking up, I was getting extremely turned on and aroused to the point of wanting to have sex with her right there and then!

I told myself, literally in my head, "you need to end this and get the f-out of here, or else you're going to make a big mistake!"...

Luckily, I did, and it went smoothly, but this was just an example of how what some might perceive as "bad" body odor can be intoxicating for the right genetic match!