[SorridLives]

Yeah, it's a myriad of things. Pheromones too, very important apparently.



Yeah, I think this still falls under finding strong genetic stock to mate with. For example, if I see a really hot girl talk utter rubbish (as I often do), I lose the desire to mate with them, since I don't want my children to be window lickers.


And Caroline/Sorrid, lets try to stay on topic...

Thanks so much Anon. LOL

[Uneeklyme]

Interesting opinions.

Window lickers... haha

I personally go for personality. My last two long term relationships (7 years and going into 4) have been with men I fell for before I ever knew them physically. Both are very very different physically. One short and squat and one tall and toned but not muscled. I am actually turned off by large muscle definition and dark tans. One balding and one with thick curly hair. One with blue eyes and one with brown. One with very little body hair and one with borderline to much. I dont care for facial hair on a man but my current partner has a full beard. I think he is sexy as h*ll and cute as all get out. Just the point of none of it was about sexual attraction. I like some physical traits more than others but its never a make or break for the deal. Arrogance...I'll pass. Same goes for ignorance. Well balanced and clean are pluses. I cant stand clingy and needy. Confident is good.



Something that has always cracked me up in this great debate is when someone brings up how nature governs and basically states in one way or another...I am human. I am evolved. I compare myself to animals to make my point. HUH?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I think sexual attraction is a combination of many factors. I think it starts with experiences in our younger years, growing up, adolescence. We form some of our preferences then, even if they may change at times later....
Then our own appearance effects what we do....
As Anon said, I think we usually adapt and will be attracted to people that will find us attractive. (Although I have known people who could not seem to adapt...and always wanted someone much more attractive then they were and they stayed ALONE.)
Then there are factors like that of being at what place and at one time,- timing.

Mmm... In my "younger years" i went for looks... Chemistry was based on how good looking he was WT? So i agree. It is adolescence, certainly didn't have a desire as to what he owned. In fact my first boyfriend was Greek, he owned a Corvette, he drove me around for 3 months in an old stationwagon with no back window, d a m n it was winter? But, i didn't know he owned a nice car and was good looking lol...

Nowadays, give me a man with a Mind, one with a Sense of Humor, as long as he is working, can support himself, give me a man with sexual desire, as well why the not...

I agree.

[anonymouswhitefemale]

Something that has always cracked me up in this great debate is when someone brings up how nature governs and basically states in one way or another...I am human. I am evolved. I compare myself to animals to make my point. HUH?

I imagine that's directed to me. My opinion is that nature governs everything. I am a human, and I am slightly more evolved than a monkey, we just figured out how to use tools. As soon as we did that, evolution has been minimal and everything has just been technology advancing us to where we are today, but biologically we share 99% of a monkeys DNA. I compare humans to animals because humans are animals.

[SorridLives]

I imagine that's directed to me. My opinion is that nature governs everything. I am a human, and I am slightly more evolved than a monkey, we just figured out how to use tools. As soon as we did that, evolution has been minimal and everything has just been technology advancing us to where we are today, but biologically we share 99% of a monkeys DNA. I compare humans to animals because humans are animals.

Try: Hardcoretruth.com/Human_Animals/

This site says it depends on what definition you use. Humans may be considered animals- or not.

Our thinking is a lot more complex than an animal's, by all indications (and in my opinion).
However, again....I think a lot of things are involved in a human beings attraction to another human being. Some of those things are animal-like, like pheromones, and maybe some aren't.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Agree, some are Sorrid.

And not maybe, some "AREN'T"

In Australian Language...................

"Where the bloody are you?"


CW

[WildChild]

This is a good thread and I've been all over the place with this. I think it varies. Some people seem to lock into a certain physical or emotional type, they may go through relationship after relationship and each one is remarkably similar. Others (self included) keep modifying - a sort of - that didn't work, try something different.

For me it depends on where I am, emotionally. I've had relationships that I have definitely been the initiator on (although he may have thought he was) and those that have been more studied - one based on religion for example, with the thinking that shared values and all that would do it - it didn't. I've had some good relationships develop from knowing someone over time, such as working with them.

Most recently, based on energy, just an amazing, intense initial attraction followed by a lot of conversation and sharing before it went anywhere. The initial attraction was simple I - 'saw' his energy and that did it. Now if there wasn't a physical attraction to back that up it's unlikely to have have gone beyond conversation.

So what is the physical? Appearance of health, which includes posture (no slouchers for me) a sparkel in the eyes, clear skin, easy, confident movement and stance. Personal care, clean, well cared for teeth and hands, clean hair. I like "working" hands but they have to show an effort to get out the oil and grease. Stature is a factor, a man doesn't have to be tall and I don't care for the over muscled look but most woman prefer a man they can look straight in the eye or a little up at. I like a shoulder the right height to rest my head on. An open expression, no brooding, angry stuff. There are intangibles of attitude and responsiveness. A man who looks at you with interest without panting and drooling is always more interesting that one who is disintersted or can't wait to unzip his pants. So many factors some into play, most are assessed so rapidly we aren't aware of them. Over time we may become more willing to go with a different set of criteria, we aren't looking to have a family together and know there won't be sex 5 or 6 times a day - probably not that much a week (sigh, such a pity men slow down so much) so factors such as intelect, caring and conversation start to weigh more heavily but attraction is still important. People at ninety still fall in love and that isn't about calculated choice. I think the available pool of possible mates is a big factor too. What will attract you if you have 3 or 4 to choose from rather than 100s will make some difference.

[Livelaughlove]

Originally Posted by anon Sexual attraction is natures way of finding strong genetics for offspring, eg, large breasts are associated with fertility, and the same goes for more subtle details like facial structure/hair etc.

I didn't read through this thread so excuse me if this has already been said but there is a HUGH difference between

What drives sexual attraction!
What drives mate selection!

[Livelaughlove]

One more thing.

I think C is the only one that is actually talking about Sexual attraction she is just doing it in a way that she knows how? Through Emotions! Which have more then one meaning in each of her posts. It was actually very informative.

Anon,

Your describing mate selection however your insisting on using the words Sexual attraction.

There are two words here that need to be divided and defined individually. That is Sexual and attraction

Sexual attraction is a combination of both in short form it's anticipation, passion and mental stimulation and imagination all working together to "turn a person on".

Mate selection is: every thing Diana Fernandez said in the OP.

hope this helps

[sTyLeRock]

i was waiting for LLL to post