[WildChild]

If only there was some way. Its especially bad since you often know who those other people are who match you level of interest in sex. But I don't think most humans are wired to love one person and sleep with another. But the temptation is always there.

Another facet of the problem is that the people who are not interested in sex don't see it as important, don't see why their spouses should be tempted....

True. What I don't understand is why they don't feel that they have to be empathetic but that their partner should be. Of course sex with someone who doesn't want it isn't much good. I stayed in a sexless marriage for several years and got out, I couldn't keep it going although lack of sex wasn't the only issue. But sex is a natural survival drive, right behind food, shelter and security. The lack of interest is un-natural, it indicates something is wrong.

[rcoreyus]

I agree that a lack of interest in sex is not usual. But if you think about it, there are lots of other unusual sexual behaviors. Everything from homosexuality to masochism to various fetishes could be considered unusual, and does not contribute to procreation.

I wonder if lack of interest is just another facet of the wide range of human sexual behavior. We have heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, why not asexual?

But being married to someone who is asexual is as un-fun as being married to someone who is homosexual (which happens to people as well).

[WildChild]

At least if you were married to a homosexual they probably wouldn't have a problem with a sexually open relationship. But when your spouse has no interest, married you pretending some interest for a little while, knows you want it and want a lot of it but they don't even think about it and expect you to just deal with it. That's not right. I was told, "you married me, you're just stuck". I stuck it out for a while but I didn't stay stuck!