[msk2u]

I had a guy that I was dating ask me to try and dominate him. He wanted me to call him names, spank him, and use a strap-on. I have never done anything like this, but I actually like the idea of being in total control. Any thoughts on how I can go about becoming a true dominatrix?

[DreamP346]

Have you watched the video Bend Over Boyfriend. Its an educational video that teaches you about strap ons for women.

[ItsASecret]

If you like the idea of it then that is a good step right off the bat. It is definitely not for everyone.

My boyfriend has tried some of the light domination stuff on me, I was reluctant but I know he kinda has an interest in it so I gave it a shot. He did the whole blindfold on me, tied me to a chair, vibrators on me during that, bending over the sofa with hands tied up behind my back, oral on my knees while hands tied, arms tied up on the headboard...just general things and at my request no degrading talk during it and I can say without a doubt it is not my thing. The lack of control and sensory deprivation is not arousing to me, but I did give it a shot and to me that was what mattered. He loved it but yeah I can say I will not be asking for it again. He wants me to try the stuff on him but I am so quiet, so reserved, so shy and timid that having control is the farthest thing on my mind as arousing so even if I gave it a shot on him I think it would not be what he is looking for.

There are a lot of online sources about beginners stuff. You of course do not need to jump right into it, you can explore light stuff maybe with blindfolds first and very light spanking...just to ease you into it. Anything you do not want to do though you should not have to do, and if it gets to be too much make sure he knows that no means no.

[msk2u]

I haven't seen that. I will definitely check it out.

[sallywi2003]

I have a little dominant side to me I have not explored it greatly. The most I have done is tell my boyfriend to lay on the bed and hand cuffed him and had my way with him.

[JanieMarie]

Definitely check out male chastity play. That's the #1 way you can gain power in the bedroom.

[Element]

Communication is key for sex, but for BDSM it is an absolute must. I congratulate your ex for being able to talk to you about this subject.

I'd say start looking into a BDSM checklist, to see what's out there, what strikes your fancy and what you might want to try one day; something to aim for. Information on how things are done, knowing the human body, reading ones reactions, knowing limits and respecting limits are all a must. There are sites where you can talk to people who live the style or dabble in it a bit, I personally find those most helpful.

But before you start dominating someone, you first need to learn about yourself in this life style. What you like, what you won't do, where you are aiming for, how far you would like to go, there's a lot of answers that you need first. And asking is the first step, so congratulations. I hope you enjoy your journey.

[Hugo-B]

Communication is key for sex, but for BDSM it is an absolute must. I congratulate your ex for being able to talk to you about this subject.

I'd say start looking into a BDSM checklist, to see what's out there, what strikes your fancy and what you might want to try one day; something to aim for. Information on how things are done, knowing the human body, reading ones reactions, knowing limits and respecting limits are all a must. There are sites where you can talk to people who live the style or dabble in it a bit, I personally find those most helpful.

But before you start dominating someone, you first need to learn about yourself in this life style. What you like, what you won't do, where you are aiming for, how far you would like to go, there's a lot of answers that you need first. And asking is the first step, so congratulations. I hope you enjoy your journey.

Which site did you use to chat to people about BDSM? I couldn't find any good ones at all, just a few strange ones full of weirdos. Could you PM me the name please? x

[rcoreyus]

Safety: have a "safe word", a work like "red" that means stop all the games that EITHER partner can use if they don't like what is going on.

If you tie someone up, be sure not to cut off circulation or risk strangling them. Have a knife nearby to cut their bonds if you can't untie them.

Discuss beforehand what sort of things you both like. BDSM covers a really wide range of activities and communication is absolutely required to be sure that you have the same ideas of what would be fun.

Then - enjoy. A lot of people enjoy this soft of thing.