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confused??? like girl but afraid to tell her

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  • confused??? like girl but afraid to tell her

    hi,
    Well i met this girl about a year ago through photography and she was great.
    We started hanging out alot, going to parks, taking pix together, going to car events,etc .
    We have alot of things in commons.
    3 months after we met, i began to develop feelings for her. She is a very religious person and isn't allowed to date people or even hang out with people not her same religion, yet we still hangout.
    Its been lil over a year now and I can't get her out of my mind!!
    I like everything about her, shes perfect, but i am scared to tell her my true feelings that i have for her.
    Im afraid i'll loose her as a friend.

    what should i do??

  • I often think that words don't have to be spoken, rather observe and use "suggestions"...

    How has this girl reacted to you do you think?

    Do you feel she may like you or only treats you purely like a friend.

    Does she ask you to meet her to "hangout" car shows, etc, or is it all your doing and she agrees and just has fun with you.

    I assume you are both young and therefore she would have her parents to contend with even if she did like you and therefore, you would maybe find that as your friendship may be secretive of sorts, so that relationship may be also.

    Is this something, if this was the case you could handle? Never actually being able to celebrate Xmas and birthdays for instance?

    CW
    PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

    Comment


    • Originally posted by CHANDLERS WISH View Post
      I often think that words don't have to be spoken, rather observe and use "suggestions"...

      How has this girl reacted to you do you think?

      Do you feel she may like you or only treats you purely like a friend.

      Does she ask you to meet her to "hangout" car shows, etc, or is it all your doing and she agrees and just has fun with you.

      I assume you are both young and therefore she would have her parents to contend with even if she did like you and therefore, you would maybe find that as your friendship may be secretive of sorts, so that relationship may be also.

      Is this something, if this was the case you could handle? Never actually being able to celebrate Xmas and birthdays for instance?

      CW
      She is into all the stuff we do.
      She always ask me to go to places with her, help her with stuff,i go work on her car at her house, met her mom and dad and they seem to like me.
      I have shared a couple secrets with her that i never told anyone and she has too.
      Im just confused on what to do.

      btw im 21

      Comment


      • May I suggest you do something romantic for her- show her you like her instead of telling her. If you know her best, you know her favorite things. I think if you do something outrageously sweet and spontaneous she'll be absolutely flattered and surprised- she'll be at a loss for words.

        And depending on her reaction, you'll be able to gauge whether or not she feels the same for you. The best part is you guys are very close by now, so if she isn't interested in you in that way she'll clarify that but she won't hold it against you or let it ruin your relationship. Good luck!
        This country throws the baby out with the bathwater, and it's darned "patriotic."

        Comment


        • Originally posted by jerbal View Post
          She is into all the stuff we do.
          She always ask me to go to places with her, help her with stuff,i go work on her car at her house, met her mom and dad and they seem to like me.
          I have shared a couple secrets with her that i never told anyone and she has too.
          Im just confused on what to do.

          btw im 21
          She already likes you. Just say "Hey you know it's been great being with you this past year. We always have a good time together. Have you ever thought about what it would be like if we took it to another level?"

          That way she can tell you her true feelings. If she is not interested just say "I understand" just wanted to check.

          Comment


          • Originally posted by Aithneu View Post
            May I suggest you do something romantic for her- show her you like her instead of telling her. If you know her best, you know her favorite things. I think if you do something outrageously sweet and spontaneous she'll be absolutely flattered and surprised- she'll be at a loss for words.
            This is a brilliant idea actually. Take her to one of her favorite photography spots and have a rose or a box of chocolates waiting for her there. (Although, scrap the box of chocolate idea if its a public place).

            And since you've met her parents, and they already like you, keep sugaring them up. If you guys start dating, they might like the idea of their daughter dating someone they know is sweet, caring and respectful.
            Although to be honest, there's a good chance that the parents already know you want to date her. Its something parents have, like a sixth sense.

            Comment


            • commonsense gives you a good suggestion. I'd be interested to hear if you think that she (the girl) has given you any indication that she'd like it to move to the next level. words or actions...

              Comment


              • thanks guys for all the responses

                she is a very unique person
                some days she would talk to me all day long via texting or phone and then there's day where she would completely ignore me.
                I know i gotta give her her own some space but sometimes i feel like i even annoy her.


                Ima try to do something really romantic for her soon
                Its just when im around her i crash!! Im already a shy person but when im with her the words never come out right lol

                Comment


                • from what you have written I'd be a little careful doing something really romantic. She might think it's over the top and you may not be able to "backpedal" if she begins to feel uncomfortable.

                  something a little less intense might work better.

                  this is gonna sound corny, but ask her if she like to go to an arcade to hang out. find an arcade with one of those photo booth things where you get 4-8 pics for however much it is now. when you are there and after playing some arcade video games, ask if she wants to have your pics taken together and see how it goes. then after the photo thing, ask if she'd like to go pig-out on popcorn and go see a movie.

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by N01 View Post
                    from what you have written I'd be a little careful doing something really romantic. She might think it's over the top and you may not be able to "backpedal" if she begins to feel uncomfortable.

                    something a little less intense might work better.

                    this is gonna sound corny, but ask her if she like to go to an arcade to hang out. find an arcade with one of those photo booth things where you get 4-8 pics for however much it is now. when you are there and after playing some arcade video games, ask if she wants to have your pics taken together and see how it goes. then after the photo thing, ask if she'd like to go pig-out on popcorn and go see a movie.
                    thanks
                    I have taken her to an arcade place before it was fun. I didnt think of the photo thing though
                    And as far as romantic goes i wasnt going to do some crazy or anything.
                    Maybe a flower or something like that.
                    I got her some really nice earrings for her bday last month and she loved them =D

                    once again thanks for the reply

                    Comment


                    • yeah, the photo booth then a movie should give you an indication. let her pick the movie and dont put your arm around her unless she puts her head on your sholder or leans towards you first.

                      also, be very very careful about flowers. It's counter intuitive, but a single red rose has much more meaning than 12 of them. I learned that the hard way...

                      if it's not roses, picking a good flower is not an easy task. besides, it's a pain to carry a bouquet of flowers around on a date...

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by N01 View Post
                        yeah, the photo booth then a movie should give you an indication. let her pick the movie and dont put your arm around her unless she puts her head on your sholder or leans towards you first.

                        also, be very very careful about flowers. It's counter intuitive, but a single red rose has much more meaning than 12 of them. I learned that the hard way...

                        if it's not roses, picking a good flower is not an easy task. besides, it's a pain to carry a bouquet of flowers around on a date...
                        haha thank you very much
                        I really like this girl and don't wanna screw anything up

                        Comment


                        • follow your heart.
                          if you follow your heart you will do fine. if you need advice, ask and dont be affraid to follow the advice you seek. and you are doing so. good start.
                          take it slow and easy, dont seem to eager. that can scare her and possible make it a bad thing.
                          one flower is great, an easy date, more towards the friendship but with a twist that you wouldnt do with just any friend.

                          long ago, i tried the same you ask about. we went for a drive and i really liked her. went as friends to atlantic city to have fun and gamble. i so wanted to ask her on the way but didnt b/c it would had made the date very awkward if it didnt go as planned. when we got there we did the gambling thing, walked the board walk and talked, had dinner, and gambled some more. on the way home stopped off for coffee and talked more. 3 hrs later when we got to her house, i got my fear out of the way and told her i had so much fun talking, dinning, walking and all. so i asked her what she felt and she felt the same. i would have not known if i didnt ask.
                          dont be too fancy, but not lame. find what it is that you both can do and go there. find a common ground that is fun and all. and ask her. it will show 2 things for sure. 1st it will show that you can be friends which you have to in arelationship, and 2nd it will also show that you you care enough to see if there is another level between you.
                          you have only fear of your own.
                          if she is for you, you will be together. if she is your friend and friend only, she will not be offended but rather flattered. and you both can be happy with either of those 2 outcomes. you both know where you stand when you do hang out.
                          if she takes offence and tosses you aside, then she isnt much of a friend to be honest and shouldnt feel shameful or anything of you asking.
                          she might be waiting for you to ask. did you ever think of that?
                          take a breath, and go for it. but be careful, and find the right time and place. you will know when and where that is. follow your heart!!!

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