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Dating older men

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  • Dating older men

    How do you guys feel about this? I've always been attracted to older men. I started dating college guys when I was 15, and now rarely date anyone less than their mid-40's or so (I'm 31). I find that older men are more patient, more understanding, more willing to listen to me, less inclined to be full of machismo, and more knowledgeable in bed. If I feel like sitting in a coffee shop and discussing archeology or something, a guy my age would probably think I was crazy, but older men are more likely to have interests beyond their cars or football.

    Not sure how this play out when I'm 60 .. lol ... but for now I much prefer older men over guys my age.

  • Whatever works for you. Who knows when you are 60 maybe you'll reverse it an still date 40 somethings?

    Comment


    • be careful, i always dated older guys which worked well till i married one. when i was a energetic vibrant 40 - he was well over the hill. not good. but older men are great to date, they usually have more money and more ahem practice at the physical side of things.

      Comment


      • "More money and slept with more women"


        Whoever said women were shallow, simple creatures .

        Comment


        • hey dont make generalisations, maybe i am simple and shallow, but its nice to be taken to nice places and not jumped on - by an oversexed youngster, especially after a few dates where i guy thinks he is doing you a favour by taking you to the local dive pub, and buying you a glass of cheap nasty wine, and then expects a night of passion. dating isnt difficult, and the more mature man seems to have worked this out.

          Comment


          • I dont think it's simple or shallow, it's just a preference like anyone elses. Now there may be an "issue" down the road if it becomes a long term relationship, seeing as the life expectancy for men isnt as long as for women, but if both parties are aware of them ahead of time and go for it anyway, then good for them.

            You may find as you get older, the age gap preference gets narrower. Maybe not.

            Anyway, good for you. nothing wrong with it...

            Comment


            • You are who you are and you have the right to have a preference of "intelligence, charm and knowledge, with wisdom".. which a more "mature man has".

              However, you may be very surprised if you don't have a "box" to put men in, because you may find that one day, someone a tad older only, or same age, or even a tad younger, or younger, has exactly what you are after.

              Point being, don't look at the word "age" so much and look at the word "maturity".

              I know 21 year olds that have their own mortgage, finished Uni, about to embark on an excellent career and by the time they are 31 will have the things you are speaking of.

              It's not age, rather smarts, maturity and respect of what a woman is.

              A MAN, would not take a WOMAN to a dive pub, with cheap wine, only someone whom has no class, and um brass polished thoughts. haha.

              Money should not be the issue, rather the "man" seeing you as a real woman, someone whom deserves respect, has class.


              CW
              Last edited by CHANDLERS WISH; 11-18-2008, 01:53 AM.
              PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

              Comment


              • Originally posted by happy ending View Post
                hey dont make generalisations, maybe i am simple and shallow, but its nice to be taken to nice places and not jumped on - by an oversexed youngster, especially after a few dates where i guy thinks he is doing you a favour by taking you to the local dive pub, and buying you a glass of cheap nasty wine, and then expects a night of passion. dating isnt difficult, and the more mature man seems to have worked this out.
                So, money is essential for any passion to take place, you must be wined and dined, at great expense for him to get your prizes. I'm sorry, but the term 'intellectual ' comes to mind. I appreciate that you want to be shown that you're special, but there's many ways men can do that aside from money, and I think expecting to have your fare paid by a wealthy man removes any respect you might have had.

                Dating is difficult, because men and women are so different and women expect so much understanding, what the 'mature' man has realised, is how to deal with irrational women and more easily manipulate them.

                The reason I think I am irritated by this behavious, is that, being 23, that means that I have to aim for 18-19 year olds, who hold no interest other than the phsyical. Girls a few years younger than me are totally stupid, and I resent the fact that they're my 'demographic' - because the girls my age have their eyes on shiney things and expensive wine.

                Comment


                • Yeah but Anon i don't think she is stating that it is "money" rather respect and intelligence, but I will let her answer that hey.

                  I agree with her, you need to appreciate the "Culture" of different worlds. Australian Men are ****e, yep they are...

                  If they are younger then they are very immature they are settled into their sports, their cars/bikes we are spoilt in a way...

                  Younger men here are well, still being a lad, we are not important they haven't had the hardship you may have had, others may have had, they feel they can take it all and diss you.

                  Here in AUSTRALIA which is where she is from an older man understands more , it is different that UK, USA because we are bought up to be spoilt...

                  The men are bought up to take.

                  The women are bought up not to...

                  And, so she is searching simply for someone whom can treat her better than the younger generation of her age in AUSTRALIA.

                  Hard to explain if you don't live here.

                  But i don't believe for one minute that she is after money and success she never mentioned " he has to be a millonairre" or " be successful in business" she is stating exactly what i have experienced, lets take her to a low life pub buy cheat shirt and then try to kiss her and get her in bed, she is just a woman.

                  That my darl, is the typical AUSTRALIAN - Stupid been there seen it, ahhhhh can relate.

                  No morals, no understanding and no respect.

                  We live in diff worlds sorry.

                  CW
                  PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

                  Comment


                  • And, well, I wish this was just about Australian men, since I find them really annoying already. We have a LOT of Aussies here in London, and they're quite disliked. why won't they stop talking about Australia?! They're complete misers as well.

                    I think money is the wrong way to gauge respect from a man. If he's got plenty of money, it means nothing for him to take you to a restaurant, it just show's he's willing to pay for the chance to have sex with you. It doesn't show that he respects you, desires you, gives you high importance etc.

                    But yes, I will agree, why be involved with a guy that can only talk about football, hang out at a dingy pub and who doesn't know his way around the bedroom. However, that is only a proportion of guys, it isn't every guy under the age of 30.
                    Last edited by CHANDLERS WISH; 11-18-2008, 03:47 AM.

                    Comment


                    • ha..

                      The woman is 40, doubt she will go out with someone 30.

                      Know what you mean Anon, i am not trying to say Australian's are..

                      I am agreeing that a more "mature man" regardless of "AGE" can satisfy what a person my be looking for where a meat pie, kangaroo and holden cars, Aussie, has no clue.....

                      Anyways unless the threader also stipulates and " I want money" then she is not a .... person viewing money.

                      Let her reply.

                      CW
                      PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

                      Comment


                      • i am 44 years old, own a house, a car and all that stuff - am actually fairly comfortable financially so no i dont really want a zillion dollars spent on me, australian men however seem to have very little idea how to treat women. i have a lovely boyfriend who is not australian and we go fishing together, only go out occasionally but he would never take me to a pub buy me a glass of wine and leave me alone in the corner while he talked to his mates all night, but as chandlers wish can verify, most aussie males would. that to me is not a great night out. sorry if i come across as money grubbing, i dont need money but a little respect goes a loooooong way with me.

                        Comment


                        • May be you need to find some places to meet a different quality of men? Guys who hang out in pubs brings to mind a certain type. Do you have some special interests? Get involved with a local preservation group or a book club, attend lectures at the local college find some men who have more extended interests?

                          Anony as you get older, if you can get past this cynicism, you will find that the girls will mature, just as you and your mates will. The same advice would apply to you, you need to meet a different quality of women. They are out there, the question is do you have the depth to attract them? Maybe you should consider dating some older women? Ones who've gotten past some of the silliness?

                          People tend to meet your expectations. We all fall into the habit of either expecting way too much or way too little.

                          Comment


                          • Original OP ?'s
                            How do you guys feel about this? I've always been attracted to older men. I started dating college guys when I was 15, and now rarely date anyone less than their mid-40's or so (I'm 31). I find that older men are more patient, more understanding, more willing to listen to me, less inclined to be full of machismo, and more knowledgeable in bed. If I feel like sitting in a coffee shop and discussing archeology or something, a guy my age would probably think I was crazy, but older men are more likely to have interests beyond their cars or football.
                            Not sure how this play out when I'm 60 .. lol ... but for now I much prefer older men over guys my age.
                            my reply: do what makes you happy. one day you might feel different and date someone your age, or even younger. that only time will tell. but untill you that day, your dating, so date who you want, when you want.

                            as for other statements written here, the one about guys with money and stuff. maybe it was taken out of content, but their are plenty of women who are gold-diggers. as well for the fact their are plenty of both genders who just dont grow up. both sexes are guilty for many things, and one gets burnt from dating it takes a while to get in the swuing of things and find someone who in of NORMAL, QUALITY MATERIAL. thats why dating is hard these days b/c many people these days just dont have morals, & values anymore. and the funny thing is they scream that they want it, but when they have it, they dont appraciate it and want something different.
                            trying to find the right combination is extreamly difficult these days as society makes it that way with what is out thier.
                            Last edited by Fallen1; 11-19-2008, 01:30 PM. Reason: Fixed quote so it was easier to read ;)

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by desert spirit View Post
                              How do you guys feel about this? I've always been attracted to older men.
                              I did'nt take that this had anything to do with a money issue other than the simple common tho't, it's naturally nice to hook up with a fellow that's established and has some cash in his pocket and not a credit card neither

                              I's funny I've always dated older women since high school and married 2 older than me. But now since my marriage is falling thru when I go out, where ever I am I'm looking at women younger than I

                              Hey I'm only 50 but I don't really feel 50, hows it suppose to feel, I don't know. I know I have to be careful.

                              Like most of us here I feel it's really a personal preference and knowing how you really are likewise knowing the man to some degree at least.

                              I know I can't think as a woman but lets say for reasoning sake I can................. If I was a30-35 yr old woman I would want a 40-45 yr old male. They by averages have a better chance at being well established, some, well groomed, and they have what younger men don't have. Experience, not in sex only altho that should be a given, but in life, I'm saying most men not all men!

                              My opinion is influenced by my currently local.
                              I think CW your not quite right on the mature issue.
                              Yes, men can be mature at having things established shortly, and be mature. But the averages tell me most men at the age we are talking about will be more of all that plus xtra.

                              To me it's the school of hard knocks that makes or breaks a man. It's the other side of life that has it's privilege of knowing only by that older group of men. It can't be done. It's an Elite club if you will.

                              It's like 2 Big corn fed Bucks in the field ready to do business with their fighting racks and fight for their prize! There's a good chance the Old Buck will do a job of putting him in his place. There will be a day tho when the Old Buck will Lose

                              But the op mentions dating like that since high school so it was a progression of older men along the way. I was kinda stuck on the age she mentioned, mid 40's-50, naturally!

                              I will say I personally know 2 women that 1 is mid 30's and the other is early 40's and live with or are married to the men in their mid 60's. Sometimes I don't quite get it when there is a real big spread of age. It naturally makes me think what they are really together for. But that would be their business whatever it's for.

                              good question!

                              Comment

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