[GodsAngelbaby]

yes i hear you all, thank-you for your help also.
we have a very very open relationship we talk about everything as i told him in begining of the relationship i dont want things to go wrong cuz of miscommunication and he agreed and so that realy i think is the best way so far we have never in the 3 years have ever had any real fighting cuz we both understand.
he does and always has been a worker wanting to be able to be independent but we have talked about when we live together if i can work he has no problem with that and if/when we was to have kids he would like me to stay home and be with them instead of paying strangers but he said only if we can afford for me not to be working he realy is a down to earth kinda guy and i feel so lucky

you are also right we both do want to do things the way God wants us to but at the same time its hard for us to see the harm of living together. we know we are to set examples and ppl will gossip about it but to me God see's all and know's so let ppl talk
one reason why we both are wanting to move in is we are in other states and being to gether is so hard and takes planning and money and i know a few times he has felt bad that i am sad and miss him when we are not to gether for a long time and he does not want to make me sad but i understand that it would be way hard for me to move to a state were i know one person (him) and try to do it all on my own (job, apartment ie rent..ect) to be able to be near 'er to one a nother but not living together...

we just keep praying for guidence.

Gabby

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Aweeeee...

Well he works hard, days and weekends, you are living in different States, you are both Christian and are looking for a place that takes animals as well.

I really think as your communication is really good between each other you are scared for no reason, you just need to start really looking for that place that you can both call home and concentrate on that.

Once you have made that step, then you are living together and then you can look at the next step. One step at a time.

So, are you not working at the moment? Is that what you are saying?

Maybe you are also sad then because you can't be with him the way you want and don't have much happening in your life either?

I think that he is just a worker, and working "towards things" much like he has done by finding lots of work for financial help as well.

CW

[GodsAngelbaby]

well he has always been on his own after he was 16 he had joined the airforce and all that he works for them on the week days very important is so cute cuz he has to dress up and were a tie and everything
and on the weekends works at the pentagone

and no for now i dont work i have had a lot of jobs the last one was i was working construction with my uncle at his home busness but one one job reroofing i had fallen and he let me go he felt so bad that i got hurt and it was his fault but its okay i dont mind and its beter that it was me that had fallen cuz it was 35 feet and if i had not fallen (the ladder sliped on the morning dew on the tarp) then it would have been my dads old friend who could have gotten realy realy hurt bad and i did not brake nothing i had fallen on my side so my hole body was bruised and it took a month to heal but it was not so bad. i dont mind working and i told him i would like to help contribute in paying for things. but i can see how he likes to be the one to pay for little things like my promise ring or going to the movies or hockey games..ect but he said its okay if i want to work he's not the kind of guy who thinks women cannot work and they have to stay at home and cooke and clean he cooks and clean's and even changes babies diapers

and its true my home live is no fun my dad drinks and he is harsh on me and we are living so far away its tough but i no he loves me and we talk each day online or we fall alseep on the phone at night.

(im watching Banana's commade its so funny silly)

yup

gabby

[CHANDLERS WISH]

and its true my home live is no fun my dad drinks and he is harsh on me

Well, sounds like you want to get out of where you are at.... so marriage sounds fantastic right?

You have a promise ring, they are worth their weight in gold I believe.....

You say you are looking for a place that accomodates pets, and that the two of you are going to live together, soo, what's stopping you from spending your energy looking for that place? Has he said start looking? If so look and find it.... concentrate on that.

Also, you need to do things that make you happy as well, hobbies etc, sounds like if your not working, your waiting for his call, email and that's all you are living for.

Construction work for a woman, well I am not sexist but can you study for something else, such as filing/clerk, or find a job even working in a fast food place.

A little bit of money also means that you can buy little gifts for your boyfriend as well, and little things for yourself and be ready for helping with the new place when you find it, with furniture and essentials.

CW

[GodsAngelbaby]

aww yeah i have worked other jobs i do a lot of baby/kid/pet sitting i lov babies, ive worked as a janitor at the local school (my old school) also i worked at a restuarant in the kitchen and a ice cream shop.ect i have had a lot yes i hear you about it i buy him things he is shy be like aww honey dont buy me stuff u dont have any money but he buys me things. (its harder for me to have a job as i dont drive a car)
yes he has been looking its hard for him to look in a different state than the one your in he also looks online and stuff and also is taking time cuz of the pet deal.
yes i lov my promise ring he was daft going to spend a thousand dollars on it i said naw just one hundred is fine and he let me help him pick it out he said he did not want to buy something i did not like ;D so sweet
i do a lot of things other than sit around waiting for him to call , i crochet blankets paint and draw pics i am a germophob so i clean the house each day and take care of the animals (mine and the neighbors) i cook for myself as my parents dont like how i dont eat meat and so i feed myself lol, i do a lot of things online post to forums help resize pics for my mom to post to her forums for garden and geneology as she is new to computer stuff. talk to my friends online read books study the bible watch cooking shows
im busy in my house your not a llowed to be lazy even tho i do find myself day dreaming of things lol
yup yup

gabby~

[kms]

Well, just something to consider: statistically, studies have found that couples who live together before marriage are more prone to divorce than those who lived together upon marriage. I was surprised to learn about it (in a human development course I took last year) because it seemed counter-intuitive... you'd think they would be making a more informed decision, but somehow it doesn't seem to be the case. I wonder if the two aren't causal, but correlated - i.e. they're both symptoms of a different cause. Nevertheless, it's worth considering before you make the big move.

[kms]

I hate that I can't go back and edit my posts: I was thinking faster than I was typing and realized I wasn't clear after posting:

"I wonder if the two (living together and divorce) aren't causal, but correlated." Hope that's clearer.

[Lady_K]

Well, just something to consider: statistically, studies have found that couples who live together before marriage are more prone to divorce than those who lived together upon marriage. I was surprised to learn about it (in a human development course I took last year) because it seemed counter-intuitive... you'd think they would be making a more informed decision, but somehow it doesn't seem to be the case. I wonder if the two aren't causal, but correlated - i.e. they're both symptoms of a different cause. Nevertheless, it's worth considering before you make the big move.

Hi! It's quite an interesting idea... but it would be really helpful for me to know which study has analised this phenomenon? I'd love finding out! Can you remember? Indeed, it seems to me counter-intuitive also... and there are several factors to find out about which kind of couples were "tested"... as there has to be a common feature these couples share. I don't know if I've proven my point right.

Thanks

[Femme]

I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half.
I've been openly honest about the fact that I want to be engaged by our 3 year mark.
He is aware and apparently fine with that. So you just have to put it all on the table and talk about it some more.

[WildChild]

OP hasn't been around for months.