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What does this mean to you?

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  • What does this mean to you?

    If someone asks you a question that is personal and that surprises you, and before making up your mind whether you will answer you ask him "why are you asking?" what does that tell him about you/what message are you sending out?

  • that you are wondering why they would ask such a personal question?

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    • You were asked a question and your response was following through with another "question", which is a good way of avoiding an answer, well done.

      If the question was personal pertaining to your sex life, preference, past sex life, etc, it's not any of his business, it may be that he is interested in this instance but has standards which is wrong.

      If a person can't accept another person for themselves, and like them for themselves and not wonder or care about past, then they are a winner.

      I am guessing here, naturally, but that's the only personal questions I can think off.

      CW
      PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

      Comment


      • Don't want to bore you w/ all the details, but he asked if I was planning to have kids and I thought to myself that he is trying to insult me by meaning something like "are you planning to sleep with me?" I was talking to him about my professional goals when he brought this up. He answered me back by saying "because it can be though with 2 jobs" [FYI, both of my two "jobs" are highly professional and demanding]. The thing is my gut feeling just did not buy his explanation given that he had told me and a group of other people how much he liked kids and I knew in fact that he did not have any of his own.

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        • Then I think he is just "thinking" how are you ever going to marry and have children when you so career minded, and he is children and family orientated.

          That's how I read that.

          CW
          PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

          Comment


          • we were not dating or anything. We just happened to be chatting and one topic lead into the next and we winded up at this.

            Comment


            • I think that he was just trying to see where you wanted to go with life, if you always wanted to stay career oriented or if you wanted to slow things down and eventually try and have a family.
              Before you criticise someone walk a mile in their shoes and then that way if they get angry they will be a mile away and barefoot

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              • So you think he was interested in a relationship or something more than the fact that we just knew each other?

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                • He could be screening you for compatibility, consciously or not. Another possibility is that when you were telling him about your life, he thought about it in terms of his priorities instead of yours.

                  My advice is not to overthink it. If he's attracted to you, he'll let you know more overtly than that.
                  A chance to do good

                  Comment


                  • yes that sounds like a fairly general question to me. some people are dedicated to their career not really interested in the family side of things, i have a lot of friends like that, some are 1/2 career, 1/2 family. probably just wanted to see where you fit in.

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by classy_lady View Post
                      If someone asks you a question that is personal and that surprises you, and before making up your mind whether you will answer you ask him "why are you asking?" what does that tell him about you/what message are you sending out?
                      It's a polite way of snubbing someone who has asked an inappropriate question. It's less abrupt than saying, "none of your business". Essentially it turns it back on them.

                      Comment


                      • "Why are you asking"?

                        Hearing that would make me feel like 1. The person is not wanting to answer the question posed and 2. They are stalling for time to think up an appropriate answer or 3. They want to know more about why I am asking the question to try to tailor their answer to one they think I want to hear.

                        "How many girls have you slept with?"

                        "Why are you asking?"

                        "Ohhhhh cuz I have slept with so many guys I just want to see where you stand on that "

                        **sigh of relief**

                        "oh in that case 1500!!!".


                        "How many girls have you slept with?"

                        "Why are you asking?"

                        "because I believe one should treat their body as a temple and sleeping with lots of people shows that you don't respect yourself "

                        **uh oh...hmmm**

                        "3!!!".

                        There, see how that little bit of feedback can help a person tailor? :-) For the other part of what you were talking about , sounds like to me he may have an interest in you, but is wondering like someone else said, if there would be a future. You know he's interested in kids and has none, asking you would be a way of knowing whether or not you would ever break from your career long enough to do it. Or it was just curiousity, it would depend on how else he is acting around you to know for sure.
                        Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.

                        Comment


                        • yeah i dont think ur like sending any message or something u rjust wondering ..
                          "Nothing is impossible, if your heart is willing" ☺ ..

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