[Ashlee T.]

When my boyfriend texts me when he gets up in the morning and says "Morning. I dreamt you were cheating on me. ".

Annoying. It's happened more than once. The first time I appeased him "Oh, you know it was only a dream". My response today: "Nice. Great way to start the day on a Monday morning. GOOD MORNING! I DREAMT YOU WERE CHEATING ON ME!!!!".

He says it was not accusatory. But I have to ask myself why he feels inclined to tell me this EVERY time he dreams it.

Annoying. Bleh.

[WildChild]

Umm sound like he has issues.

[Ashlee T.]

He says "Good grief...I was just telling you about my dream. I wasn't accusing you. It would only be a bad thing if you were actually cheating". And I said "Well, are you asking me?" , he says "No. I don't think I have to.". I said "ok." He said "Sorry."

But while I want him to be open with me about things, like the first time he dreamt it telling me about it was fine bla bla bla........but telling me if it reoccurs? It's just annoying to me.

[KMonte85]

Yeah that is kind of an "off" statement to make! Especially twice!

Hopefully now your little reaction will make him think twice of wishing you a good morning that way! Maybe he was making a silly statement, maybe he was passively trying to start a discussion... but either way I'd say he probably learned his lesson on that one!

[Guest]

not a good way to say good morning at all. but if he's dreaming that, it's coming from somewhere in his mind. maybe he's just scared and unsure of himself, like "why is this great person with me when" running through his head. who knows what could be the cause. but i'd rather hear the uncomfortable stuff than get blind sided by it later on

[Ashlee T.]

He passively "hints" at things sometimes. I don't like hinting. I don't take "hints" very well. So, in efforts to decrease my frustration with it, I just come out and ask.

Let me give you another example:

We both have dogs. I work 5 days a week, 8 hours a day, plus aerobics time which is usually 1-1.5 hours per day. He works 4 days a week 10 hour days. Both of us are fortunate enough to be able to go home during our lunch breaks and let our dogs out. He works B shift 2:00 - 1:30, and I work 7am to 3:30pm. His days off are Tues Wed Thur and mine are Sat Sun.

On weekends, I try to at least one day go get his dog and let him stay at my house during the day. When I have both dogs, I have to CONSTANTLY watch them in the backyard because they want to dig, tear up bushes, bark their heads off, ya know...typical doggy stuff. So one day a week for me is enough because it's hard for me to make any other plans on my day off if I'm dog-sitting. So I have one day for doggies, one day for me, then back to work. Usually, one day during the week on one of his days off, he will go pick up my dog and take her with his to the dog park for an hour or so.

Yesterday, I went and picked up his dog at around noon. Sometime during the day he text me after already thanking me more than once, and said "I really appreciate you getting him. I feel so bad for him on days I work. I can tell he doesn't like me being on B shift cause he's alone so much. It really makes me feel good when you have him". Ok.......so I said "no problem" bla bla bla.......and he keeps talking about it and "i just feel so bad for him " type of texts. So I assure him "you're off 3 days a week, and I have him at least one day a week, so there are about 30 hours a week he's by himself....which is not so bad". But he keeps reiterating. So I start wondering...hmm is he hinting towards something...like hinting that he'd like me to get his dog on more days? So I said "Lol.......I'm starting to feel like you're trying to ask me to get him more or something?". He said no that's not what he was doing.

So today when I voice my annoyance with his "i dreamt you were cheating" text, he brings that up and says "You ALWAYS turn everything around. Like yesterday I was just trying to say thanks and you turned it around. I can't even say thanks.".

Ummmm.....well first off, that's a bit of an exaggaration considering I never got upset with him (over the dog thing), and when he said "No, I'm not asking that you get him more", I smiled and said "ok" and moved on. ANd honestly, a little disturbing that he was obviously upset by me asking him that in regards to his dog, yet didn't mention it until this came up this morning. Somehow distracted from the fact that had nothing to do with him texting me about this dream first thing this morning.

Yeah, better to share those things with me now as far as the dream....? But come on...they're dreams. I have dreams. We all do. Do you think he tells me about all the "good" dreams he has, the fantasy dreams with other women, the good dreams about me? No........so why bother to tell me on more than one occasion you've dreamt I was cheating. Blah. I don't like it.

Ahhh. Even more annoyed now.

[KMonte85]

Blah.. thats a pet peeve of mine too! Don't hint, just spit it out!

Is he one of those guys that can go on and on (and ON) about things in general conversation?

Maybe he thinks he's just talking, but because he keeps going and doesn't drop it, it makes you think that he's trying to tell you something more than what is literally coming out of his mouth.

Honestly, I would be that way too.. if you won't drop a subject that tells me that is something that concerns you and you want to address it. Maybe others see it as just someone who's long-winded, but that depends on the person!

Seems like he might be one of those "long-winded" folks...

[tritonalum07]

Seriously?

You both sound like you have communication issues. You BOTH misinterpret one another. He's probably annoyed too. And texting about anything that might be misconstrued is NEVER a good idea. It's too impersonal and can be misinterpreted way too easily.

[Ashlee T.]

My thought is, don't text me while I'm at work. But he likes to, and I respond when I can. I have told him numerous times that texting leaves too much room for misinterpretation. So now, when I'm not at work and he texts me, I just pick up the phone and call him. He has tremendous fear of rejection...so I think it's easier for him to text me feelings and such. I find that impersonal as well.

Basically, the last time he contacted me and said he had a bad dream about me, he had woken up in quite a foul mood over it. He wouldn't tell me what he'd dreamt, would just say "I don't want to talk about it right now, it really upset me". The whole time I'm thinking how nonsensical it is to get that upset over a dream but I didn't say anything. I waited until he got ready to tell me what the dream was......and it was that I had cheated. I reassured him.

So when I received his text this morning saying "Morning. I dreamt that you cheated on me", my first thought was "Oh no, not this again".

We all have communication issues, especially when trying to get to know someone elses style of communication. And I think it's quite common for couples to misunderstand each other. Doesn't make it any less frustrating though.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

He has a fear that your not going to hang about much longer, remember the "marriage bit", this is simular... His mind is racing at all costs, he doesn't want to lose you and so he has vivid dreams of the ending.....

He's going to go nuts if he doesn't change his thought pattern and see white rabbits running across green grass and all of a sudden look up and see a Beautiful Disaster naked smiling at him ... lol.