[Mes T]

Oh, getting picked on in school and stuff? I think a LOT of us can sympathize with that! And you know what? When I grew up I realized that those who bully or put down others are the ones who don't "make it" in life. Think of all the snotty girls from high school, for example. Where are they now? 19 years old, alone, and with 2 kids? Working at McDonalds? Yes that's a little extreme but true in so many cases.

And where are you, the kid who was put down in childhood? You're getting a wonderful education, you look great, and your entire life is ahead of you. The world is yours!

Sorry but why on earth would you still even give a moment's thought to those people in your past? It's over, they're staying in the same place, but you're moving forward. Leave them be and laugh at it all - you've won!

[rcoreyus]

Generalizing rules to large groups of people doesn't work. It is also tough to get people to be really honest about what they want. I knew one woman in college who "didn't care about money", but wanted her boyfriend to regularly buy her bouquets of roses. (she was very wealthy, didn't have any issues with social class, but just didn't seem to understand that being poor meant that you couldn't afford to buy nice stuff <g>).

Some men will claim they don't care about appearance, when what they really mean is the want a woman who is at least average. (what about the 1/2 sub-average appearance part of the population).

Hollywood just makes all this worse: "ugly" women in movies who still look better than 95% of the real population. "poor" artists who somehow live in 5000 square foot lofts in mid-town Manhattan. "hired assassins" who are really nice people. "uneducated poor" people who know how to run large corporations.

Maybe it isn't too much of a thread deflection for people to say what they do want in a SO.

ME: male, would like: (NO, I'm not in the market!!!).

money - not important (I make enough), but would like someone who spends their time doing something they can be proud of.

appearance - not ugly. For me this means about 3/4 of all women are OK in appearance.

Personality: (the really important one): Generally cheerful and able to take disappointments with good humour. No "land mines". Willing to take some risks. Able to think of the long term. Not easily stressed. Trusting.

Sex: affectionate, and reasonably adventurous.

Other: healthy enough to do fun things all day.

[GentlemanGhost]

Generalizing rules to large groups of people doesn't work. It is also tough to get people to be really honest about what they want. I knew one woman in college who "didn't care about money", but wanted her boyfriend to regularly buy her bouquets of roses. (she was very wealthy, didn't have any issues with social class, but just didn't seem to understand that being poor meant that you couldn't afford to buy nice stuff <g>).

Some men will claim they don't care about appearance, when what they really mean is the want a woman who is at least average. (what about the 1/2 sub-average appearance part of the population).

Hollywood just makes all this worse: "ugly" women in movies who still look better than 95% of the real population. "poor" artists who somehow live in 5000 square foot lofts in mid-town Manhattan. "hired assassins" who are really nice people. "uneducated poor" people who know how to run large corporations.

Maybe it isn't too much of a thread deflection for people to say what they do want in a SO.

ME: male, would like: (NO, I'm not in the market!!!).

money - not important (I make enough), but would like someone who spends their time doing something they can be proud of.

appearance - not ugly. For me this means about 3/4 of all women are OK in appearance.

Personality: (the really important one): Generally cheerful and able to take disappointments with good humour. No "land mines". Willing to take some risks. Able to think of the long term. Not easily stressed. Trusting.

Sex: affectionate, and reasonably adventurous.

Other: healthy enough to do fun things all day.

I don't think expecting a girl to not be ugly is unreasonable. Again, it ISNT that hard for girls to look decent looking. All they have to do is not be fat, not a very hard task. I am on a cut right now which consist of eating only 2 meals a day for a week. This cut is NOTHING compared to what I had to do in the past.

I do agree that most women aren't ugly though..........Although, I have seen some women who were ugly even when thin. It's those women I feel sorry for.

[rcoreyus]

You can want whatever matters to you in a relationship. Some people can't help their appearance - there are a lot of things other than being overweight that can make someone ugly, and some overweight women can be very attractive.

I don't think expecting a girl to not be ugly is unreasonable. Again, it ISNT that hard for girls to look decent looking. All they have to do is not be fat, not a very hard task. I am on a cut right now which consist of eating only 2 meals a day for a week. This cut is NOTHING compared to what I had to do in the past.

I do agree that most women aren't ugly though..........Although, I have seen some women who were ugly even when thin. It's those women I feel sorry for.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I should add that for once in my life over the last year I have been considered regular. You have no idea how much it SUCKED being picked on for like 19-20 years. I had family friends come up to my dad and tell me how much of a loser I would grow up to be. It always frustrated me!

A few little things

The only thing possibly about me not having children is that I got to keep my long hair, that meaning that alot of women cut their hair short so the little blighters don't rip it out

It's mind set... Choice. I chose to be me all my life. The way I dress, the colour of my hair, the inner child, the woman, I am me.. Simple, I don't believe in "age", I believe you are as old as you want to be, as well as, as old as the man you feel haha. Other way round they say. I don't think it's because I haven't had children, rather the way I feel and therefore, express myself as a person...

Secondly, I wanted to be a singer, my Mother wanted me to be a receptionist. I wanted to marry a European, not sure why I loved their culture and have never felt that "total Australian" feel, she wanted me to marry a builder, who got his hands dirty, lol.

My Mother used to say to me " You'll never be a singer", in-other-words her attempt to discourage what I would do with my life, made me feel flat but strangely enough, I did become a singer.. At some point I became me, as your becoming you, intelligence rules, bull talks... And, at that point I did what ever it was I wanted, became who ever I wanted to be, wore what ever I wanted to wear, and I have to say, my parents are very proud of me... understanding that where they thought they were guiding me, they were in-fact putting me down.

So, the point there that I want to make, is alot of us have gone through simular things, people's judgement, nerdy looks, the key is to ignore that and realise that this is your life and to just be you, full stop.

You don't have to prove anything to anyone.

One day they will actually be proven wrong, your not a loser, you have a good head on your shoulder and at some stage down the track they will have to eat those words, but what ever you do, do it for you, not to prove anything to anyone.

CW

[WildChild]

CW you are endlessly amazing! You've done so much.

[GoodEgg]

Frustration understood! I'm one of "those" women trying to figure out what I want in a man. I can only begin to imagine how frustrating that must be for someone else to try and figure out! On the other hand, I've dated men who had no money, no brains, were just a friend, were crazy or just drove me crazy. My list is only partially complete, but I can say that money means nothing, but I do love it when a guy says sweet things, treats me with respect (and doesn't actually want something back for it) and can understand that relationships take work!

[GentlemanGhost]

Frustration understood! I'm one of "those" women trying to figure out what I want in a man. I can only begin to imagine how frustrating that must be for someone else to try and figure out! On the other hand, I've dated men who had no money, no brains, were just a friend, were crazy or just drove me crazy. My list is only partially complete, but I can say that money means nothing, but I do love it when a guy says sweet things, treats me with respect (and doesn't actually want something back for it) and can understand that relationships take work!

Lol, I agree


But, it is reasonable for a female to expect a guy to have a DECENT job!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

What is Ugly?

Susan Doyle shocked the living pants off of, every single judge.

She shocked herself after all these years, living her dream finally.

She shocked viewers but having her eyebrows shaved, getting her hair done, and putting on a designer dress and looking "beautiful".

What is ugly? Not the inner child, not the person who has a heart, a soul and a sexy approach to lust/love and forever.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,

Don't ever feel sorry for an "ugly girl" because she is not ugly, she is beautiful inside and if her outside isn't what your attracted to so be it.

Sorry, but that's the truth....

CW