[GentlemanGhost]

It is absolutely wrong, duh. How would you feel if some girl you found increddibly attractive and amazing asked you out, even though in her head she is semi-repulsed by you, considering you to be a total loser... and she is doing so just have a ride places for a month while her car was in the shop.

Seriously, ghost , ugh. Well at least you know somewhere deep down how wrong it is or you wouldn't be asking here so there is a sign of hope there.

Using people is NEVER okay. Never. You want to date her for experience than you need to clue her into that. Hey, I am seriously not into anything serious with you... but would like to date you just so I get better at dating girls I'm not semi-repulsed by. Run that by her... see how it flies.

No. Don't do that. But don't play with peoples feelings either. You don't want yours played with , don't play with others.

Ugh, I guess I never looked at it that way! Yes, I knew it might be wrong just to use her to get dating experience. How else am I supposed to do it though? Tried Match.com and I get some real wierdos in person.


Anyway, I won't do it! It isnt right.

[GentlemanGhost]

(ladies please don't give me a hard time for this post)

GG

I think you can answer this question for yourself

Don't judge the number of girlfriends you have or have not had as a success factor

Everyone single has failed thus far to 'meet someone perfect'

Going out with someone you are 'semi repulsed by' is not honest to her or you. I think you need to allow yourself to date someone who you consider is less than perfect, they might just suprise you.

Going out with someone is the bit where you find out if your compatible long term

Chris Martin did not loose his virginity until he was 24, he's married to Gwenth Paltrow. Your probably ahead of him on the dating scene at 22.

As a general rule the less physically attractive a women is the nicer they are and the more generous they are (in and out of bed)




False! When I was 115 pounds and skrawny as heck with bad teeth,no females would talk to me!!!!









No women is perfect you need to cut them a break and yourself

Just 'cos someone works in a caferteria and is not in school does not mean they have no ambition are stupid or anything else.
As you know life deals you a hand and you have to play it best you can. What hand was she dealt, you don't know?



As a guy who was probably dealth the worst cards in life(I was born severly autistic) and worked REALLY hard to get up to college level, I really feel there are no excuses to not get your butt at least PART TIME in school unless:


-You can't take out loans.

-You aren't capable of going.

-A family member has died









We all judge people unfairly and have prejudious. We just need to catch ourselves and take a step back for a second.

I think you're just getting a bit desperate, women can smell it a mile off. Ever noticed how when you go out with someone women seem attracted to you. 'Cos you're relaxed in their presence.

Try Match.com or similar go on a few dates practice dating and work your way from there.

I responded inside that post........

[Hopeless Dork]

I know from other threads, ghost that you're heart is in the right place. That you have some insecurities (who doesn't) and that you are trying to better yourself inside and out (we all should be, always).

Thing is, with "experience" , we girls are all different. Really, really different. You can spend months learning how to sexually please a woman and find that all that training is COMPLETELY irrelevent in pleasing the next as we all have different ways we like to be touched, different hot spots, different turn ons and turn offs.

So everytime you start a new relations with someone all your other dating experience flies out the window as you enter into the latest adventure. Of course there are experiences you can learn from as you go on in life and some will come from prior people you have dated, but none will fully prepare you for the individual you are with at any given time.

No more than studying calculus will prepare you for a history test. The experience in dating should be learning what YOU like, what YOU want, and how YOU carry yourself.. how it feels to be treated badly sometimes, how you don't want to make anyone feel like that... what it feels like to be treated good and how you want to make someone feel that way as well.

Its all apart of it and I'm not discounting getting out there and dating to experience life and learn about yourself and heck, you may even find "the one" in the process... thats really what most people want deep down.

But finding yourself should be done in a way that creates the least amount of harm to other people. Making things good for you should not be at the cost of making things miserable to another. Sometimes it comes down to that through no fault of your own, but when the writings in the sky and you KNOW, what the cards hold in advance... sparing someone else heartache is always the best road to take, always.

If we all truly followed the golden rule, truly... imagine what the world would be like.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hun..

The dating site was a good suggestion, yeah there are weirdo's Me knows....

Maybe the girls are "insecure" a tad, and that's why they are on that at "their age", but then that also means there are some "real nice girls", that aren't being given a chance.

You know, you can't have a check list and put those into small boxes then walk out and find her.

And, your too young for marriage.

So quit with your future and start with your present

I'm glad you can see that you don't date someone for your own benefits with none for them, your only going to hurt someone's feelings and bring them down, make them feel they are worthless what for? It's not your nature.

Flirt "nicely" on My-Space, get to "know" the girls... befriend them only for that purpose and see if there is a potential to date.

Dating is about "learning experiences" too you know. Your allowed to get it wrong and your allowed to give it a go too and see where it goes, and your allowed to establish that long term, they're not for you.

22 Year old females "do" have ambitions, but I suspect the ones you are after as I said are more for "marriage" and they are doing degrees, studying, working, volunteering and you'll never see them. And I suspect they are "older" than 22.

So, for now, just concentrate on the NOW... I have no idea how to convince you to just be you and see the beauty in people, not the "materialist" side. I mean that in the nicest way. You can tell a lazy person who doesn't want anything but babies and you work, gold diggers. But, you know? A girl who is respectful of herself and her future life, also respects two incomes are better than one, so don't judge their "job" description, they may become management material or own their own place one day from what they are learning.

They may love hospitality, and not work in a cafeteria for any other reason than that they are people persons.. Which could as I said, lead them into owning their own Cafe and make good income.

I started as a Clerk/Receptionist and went pfttt, boring, so I became a waitress. If you were around then you would have said pfttt waitress... Yet, I went onto management for 17 years, 30 staff, and I'm onto my third business....

Point I am trying to make is when you talk to a person, you will establish if they have drive in life.

Ask yourself, if you are after an ambitious person in life for money? Or, an ambitious person in life to match your own intelligence for communication purposes, discussions, future paths, etc.

CW

[Futureboy]

GG

I cant help but feel you need to brush up on the way to communicate with people. I feel you come across quite blunt or agressive.

My original post
As a general rule the less physically attractive a women is the nicer they are and the more generous they are (in and out of bed)

Your response
False! When I was 115 pounds and skrawny as heck with bad teeth,no females would talk to me!!!!

Alternative response:
I disagree my experiance is that when I was less attractive (skrawny as heck, bad teeth etc.) than now no women would talk to me.

My response to this:
How do you know this was directly caused by you appearance?


My Original Post:
No women is perfect you need to cut them a break and yourself

Just 'cos someone works in a caferteria and is not in school does not mean they have no ambition are stupid or anything else.
As you know life deals you a hand and you have to play it best you can. What hand was she dealt, you don't know?


Your response:
As a guy who was probably dealth the worst cards in life(I was born severly autistic) and worked REALLY hard to get up to college level, I really feel there are no excuses to not get your butt at least PART TIME in school unless:


-You can't take out loans.

-You aren't capable of going.

-A family member has died

My response:
I know your situation that's why I brought it up. You are playing your hand of cards well be proud

She may have many other reasons.

[sourpuss]

She sounds too good for you frankly.

[GentlemanGhost]

She sounds too good for you frankly.

Ugh, I know I came off as a total douche. However, I am the type of person who is always willing to prove myself daily.




So, what have I learned from this little experience?


-Dating is not like developing a skill set where you can just use tools and work hard to develop yourself.


Humans AREN'T tools. They are equals to me.


-Calm the heck freaking down. Being aggresive could hurt me throughout my lifetime.





Anyway, you will all be glad to know I won't be dating her. It would go againt my newly tuned moral compass.


case closed

[GentlemanGhost]

Hun..

The dating site was a good suggestion, yeah there are weirdo's Me knows....

Maybe the girls are "insecure" a tad, and that's why they are on that at "their age", but then that also means there are some "real nice girls", that aren't being given a chance.

You know, you can't have a check list and put those into small boxes then walk out and find her.

And, your too young for marriage.

So quit with your future and start with your present

I'm glad you can see that you don't date someone for your own benefits with none for them, your only going to hurt someone's feelings and bring them down, make them feel they are worthless what for? It's not your nature.

Flirt "nicely" on My-Space, get to "know" the girls... befriend them only for that purpose and see if there is a potential to date.

Dating is about "learning experiences" too you know. Your allowed to get it wrong and your allowed to give it a go too and see where it goes, and your allowed to establish that long term, they're not for you.

22 Year old females "do" have ambitions, but I suspect the ones you are after as I said are more for "marriage" and they are doing degrees, studying, working, volunteering and you'll never see them. And I suspect they are "older" than 22.

So, for now, just concentrate on the NOW... I have no idea how to convince you to just be you and see the beauty in people, not the "materialist" side. I mean that in the nicest way. You can tell a lazy person who doesn't want anything but babies and you work, gold diggers. But, you know? A girl who is respectful of herself and her future life, also respects two incomes are better than one, so don't judge their "job" description, they may become management material or own their own place one day from what they are learning.

They may love hospitality, and not work in a cafeteria for any other reason than that they are people persons.. Which could as I said, lead them into owning their own Cafe and make good income.

I started as a Clerk/Receptionist and went pfttt, boring, so I became a waitress. If you were around then you would have said pfttt waitress... Yet, I went onto management for 17 years, 30 staff, and I'm onto my third business....

Point I am trying to make is when you talk to a person, you will establish if they have drive in life.

Ask yourself, if you are after an ambitious person in life for money? Or, an ambitious person in life to match your own intelligence for communication purposes, discussions, future paths, etc.

CW

Meh, I agree with this post. I do look at things from a materialistic perspective. What happens when the female gets older.Will I break up with her then? if I was going to take that additude, might as well get a blow up doll and put a ring on it because it sure as heck seems like that was the type of person I was looking for before:


A hot blond of little substance.

You know what though? This post has helped me to mature. I didn't realize that the qaulities of a person ARE more important.

Not all females look smoking hot like you do up until like 65-70!!!!


Then what? After she is like 70 am I still have to listen to her!!!!!!!!Is she going to take care of my parents when I they are older? No, she will be too busy "looking pretty"



Cliffs:

- I just realized I was a darwinistic,materialistic jerkwad and have changed that additude.

[kira]

As a guy who was probably dealth the worst cards in life(I was born severly autistic) and worked REALLY hard to get up to college level, I really feel there are no excuses to not get your butt at least PART TIME in school unless:


-You can't take out loans.

-You aren't capable of going.

-A family member has died

School is not the beginning and end of life. Work is not the beginning and end of life. I can name you some people who have both and are extremely unhappy and horrible to be around. I can name some that have neither. They grow their own food and make just enough cash to pay an electric bill so they can run their well pump and not freeze in winter. They are very intelligent (their younger siblings gave my sister a run for honor student in highschool and she's finishing her engineering degree this spring) and happy along with some of the best people to be around. Someone's ambition and desires in life may not lie with a job or schooling. Personally I'd rather be training horses, selling eggs from chickens and produce from my garden, and pursuing the intellectual interests I want without paying a college instructor to do a much worse job as well having to take classes I don't have an interest in. However I don't have enough ambition and work ethic to raise enough animals or produce to make a living and I like my expensive high speed internet and eating out so I ended up going to college for a computer programming degree. It actually takes the least effort of most any degree since I've always been very good at things like math and so horrible at english classes, writing papers, or communicating with people that a psychiatrist diagnosed me autstic. My husband makes $44,000 a year and is going back to graduate school and he's probably one of the laziest least ambition people I've met. Which is why we get along so well.

[caterpillar79]

Date only the ones you really like and may have tendencies for you to look forward to have a long term with. Don't waste your time, money and energy on dates with wrong intentions. Remember KARMA.