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  • classy_lady
    Member
    • Jun 2009
    • 24

    can avoiding a man turn him on???

    It has happened to me on several occasions that I caught men's attention (unplanned but I was attracted to them). I felt ill at ease once they initiated eye contact and got in my physical space (not too close). I started avoiding them. I thought that would make them back off, but to my surprise, it became the opposite. How do you explain that? A guy's perspective is highly appreciated!
  • Mes T
    Veteran Member
    • Oct 2009
    • 2678

    Well I'm not a guy but I too have had this happen, and in the past I've even done it myself!! It's all about the appeal of the unattainable, or of the chase.

    Comment

    • sourpuss
      Veteran Member
      • Dec 2006
      • 3581

      Ignoring a guy or acting like you're not interested is a sure way to get them to pay attention to you.

      Comment

      • Hopeless Dork
        Veteran Member
        • Dec 2008
        • 4255

        Yeah, unfortunately it can. It works for some women as well. Many people claim to despise games but set themselves up to play them all the time.

        The thrill of the hunt? The whole conquer the world thing? An ego boost? Some people see someone they are attracted to and upon realizing the object of their attraction is not mutually interested... they retreat and move on.. for others they see it as a challenge and will persue persue persue... usually to no avail but they do wear down some people eventually and get that date.

        But guys/girls that are into this behavior once they have that mate they sought tend to let their eyes wonder to the next conquest... and then the next... they get excitement from trying to get what they cant have and once they get it they don't want it.
        Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.

        Comment

        • ocularone
          Senior Member
          • Feb 2010
          • 182

          i can honestly say this doesn't work on me one bit. If i notice a girl AVOIDING me..i tend to take the message as it is- "she is avoiding you so she obviously isnt interested in you..and if she is then she is playing head games". And i don't play head games. Nor do I find it attractive when girls do.

          Some guys are slightly slow and as equally persistent, so it works on them.
          "I met in the street a very poor young man who was in love. His hat was old, his coat worn, his cloak was out at the elbows, the water passed through his shoes, - and the stars through his soul."- Victor Hugo

          Comment

          • PJhavinfunagain
            Veteran Member
            • Aug 2009
            • 475

            the men that this generally works on are not usually the one you want long term.

            Comment

            • WildChild
              Banned
              • Sep 2008
              • 14142

              hmmm, Mr Collins from, Pride and Prejudice comes to mind.

              Comment

              • want2live
                Member
                • Mar 2010
                • 15

                I wonder if maybe the guy is (secretly) hurt that you're ignoring him and wants to prove to you that he is worth knowing.

                Other times it is possibly just a guy who doesn't care about what others want only what he wants. (I thought these "psychopaths" mainly only existed in movies until I met some along the way in life).

                Comment

                • cuff
                  Member
                  • Mar 2010
                  • 57

                  I'm in the same boat as ocularone. If I see a woman obviously ignoring me, I'm going to turn the other way and not even approach her or engage in conversation. If you initially gave them some glimmer of hope by locking eyes and smiling or something, some guys will continue on thinking you're playing hard to get once they approach you and you ignore them. Then again, some guys are just dumb.

                  Comment

                  • ocularone
                    Senior Member
                    • Feb 2010
                    • 182

                    Originally posted by cuff
                    Then again, some guys are just dumb.
                    so true...we really are sometimes
                    "I met in the street a very poor young man who was in love. His hat was old, his coat worn, his cloak was out at the elbows, the water passed through his shoes, - and the stars through his soul."- Victor Hugo

                    Comment

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