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  • attagirl28
    Member
    • Dec 2009
    • 30

    intimidation or denial?

    I know this is totally lame and childish to ask but do guys really get intimadated by woman? Or is it just an excuse woman make to make themselves feel better?

    My mother keeps saying its cause you intimidate guys, you intimidate guys. "You know exactly what you want, you don't play games, you cut to the chase and you feel you should be wooed before you'll be someones girlfriend." ( I sound high maitenance when she says it like that)

    Is it true or are we just not facing the facts?

    Answers from guys are very welcome.
  • LanaBear
    Veteran Member
    • Jul 2009
    • 8373

    I definitely think some guys are intimidated by strong willed women. Women who know what they want, don't play games, up front, etc. LOL - there are a lot of us like that on this forum.

    It's not just personally either, but in the professional world as well. I think some men are not quite sure how to handle women who are not not shy and mousy.

    I think the best guy that compliments us is a headstrong guy who can hold his ground. Personally, someone who can challenge me and keep things interesting. I wouldn't want a doormat that I would end up walking all over.

    Comment

    • Ashlee T.
      Veteran Member
      • Dec 2008
      • 6412

      HD's right....alot of us strong willed ladies here have heard that many times too. I think it's true. There is an "air" about the way a confident strong woman carries herself, and most men can sense that. You attract guys often that are NOT as strong and confident because they see in you what they really wish they were themselves, strong and confident. But then alot of times that doesn't work out because eventually that strong woman sees a man who is not as strong and confident as weak and therefore loses respect.

      At the same time, the strong confident guys are attracted to us because they see things in common with us, but much like us they often don't get approached because they too intimidate us. In the long run, I think they're the best mate for a strong confident woman.

      So yeah, it can definitely be true. You know what you want, and what you're willing to accept and that's a GREAT thing. Although at times people will make little jokes about it that sort of make you feel like maybe you're too picky or not approachable.

      Hang in there Ms. Confident. Be you, and be proud.
      "Be what you're looking for."

      Comment

      • attagirl28
        Member
        • Dec 2009
        • 30

        That is exactly what everyone says! They are always saying i'm too picky! lol

        Comment

        • LanaBear
          Veteran Member
          • Jul 2009
          • 8373

          Well, I think there is reasonable pickiness and unreasonable pickiness. Pickiness in finding someone who will 'compliment' you as a person in a relationship, is one thing. Pickiness in not wanting someone with brown hair, blond hair, or someone who doesn't wear yellow socks every Tuesday, that's another problem.

          Comment

          • WildChild
            Banned
            • Sep 2008
            • 14142

            Originally posted by Beautiful Disaster

            At the same time, the strong confident guys are attracted to us because they see things in common with us, but much like us they often don't get approached because they too intimidate us. In the long run, I think they're the best mate for a strong confident woman.
            I don't know, I tend to find myself with men who Think they want a strong woman but then devote themselves to alternate tearing me down with being dependent on me either emotionally or physically and resenting me for it.
            I want a partner not an oppressor or a doormat. Seems to be a hard balance to find.

            Comment

            • xJanex
              Member
              • Feb 2010
              • 32

              i replied to something like this in another thread i think its the "the one" thread thats open atm
              and ill repeat myself
              I spoke to one of my guy mates why i cant really find anyone.. and he basically said im confident, loud fun and pretty a lot of guys are scared of rejection and intimidated or they think i already have a bf..

              which is a bit poo..
              I thought he was brown nosing but i asked my work colleges and they kinda said the same thing..

              i donntkno..
              I think guys do find it haard to approach someone.. but the i would find it hard to approach someone too..

              Comment

              • Ashlee T.
                Veteran Member
                • Dec 2008
                • 6412

                I don't know, I tend to find myself with men who Think they want a strong woman but then devote themselves to alternate tearing me down with being dependent on me either emotionally or physically and resenting me for it.
                I want a partner not an oppressor or a doormat. Seems to be a hard balance to fin
                I've had similar experiences. That sure does seem to be the case a lot of times, but like you said, it's hard to find a good balance but I do think it's out there. I think it's very much about what we are attracted to, and learning about ourselves to understand WHY we are attracted to certain things. And also learning to be content with NOT accepting an oppressor OR a doormat and certainly, learning that you can't change either one of the two.
                "Be what you're looking for."

                Comment

                • sourpuss
                  Veteran Member
                  • Dec 2006
                  • 3581

                  I hear that all the time as well.
                  Guys want the confident woman, but they also have a need to fulfill the part of their ego that makes them feel needed and useful by taking care of someone. It's scary on their part to enter into a situation where it wouldn't matter if they came or went because you already have and know everything that you need in life.

                  It seems to get harder as you get older too. I have my own business, live alone, financially stable. Can completely take care of myself, always have, always will. So what does that leave for the men in my life? Not much other than the emotional stuff, which scares the beejeezies out of them.

                  Comment

                  • rcoreyus
                    Veteran Member
                    • Sep 2007
                    • 4369

                    I think a lot of men like women who are confident and self-reliant. Those aren't the same as opinionated and bossy. On think that confuses a lot of people is the difference between wanting someone and needing them. The first is attractive, the second is oppressive. (to me).

                    Comment

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