[snuffie]

Well I have just being reflecting over my past relationships / guy's who I have dated and realised a odd / scary trend.

My ex boyfriend of one year who I love dearly and split with both in love is an officer in the British Army and I knew that when we got together.

The guy I dated for approx 1 month before I met ex boyfriend was a soldier in the same corps and reg as my boyfriend however he had left 18months previously before ex had commissioned and is now training to be a nurse which is where I met him.

The guy I date before him for approx 2 months and I am still good friends with has just joined the Marines and is in the middle of his basic training.....I didn't know he even wanted to join up!!!

With the last three guys I have had a relationship or dated each on is either in, had been or has now joined the armed forces, odd!!!

Do you think I need to get out of the habit???

[Mes T]

Do you have something against the military in general? If not, then I don't see why this trend is a problem.

[LanaBear]

If you are not cut out to be a military wife/girlfriend, than yeah, you probably need to find another type.

You had some insecurity issues in your last relationship and had problems with the potential of change of plans and time apart. If the insecurity issues are driven from being alone in a relationship while he is deployed or what have you and obviously being in the military, the relationship and planning is at the mercy of them. If this isn't something you can deal with in the future, then you probably need to start looking else where for a man to date.

[Mes T]

Oops didn't even think of that, good point Lana!!

[Little]

Can you "take it?" The being alone, the waiting around, the emotional roller coaster?
I share that type with you - military men make me go all ga-ga, foaming at the mouth, weak in the knees. I don't know if it's the uniform or the "romance," as like you, any men I dated who were once civilians joined the military at some point (or had very serious designs to do so, like signing the contract but never going) ... it's probably something to do with the personality types most likely to join the military. They just make me completely head-over-heels and helplessly interested.
But I cannot take the craziness that goes with that package deal. I can't deal with being second-best. I can't deal with being 100% "responsible" for their mood swings. I was told I had issues about being geographically near my boyfriends ... but I don't think I did. It's possible that some women who are military girlfriends/spouses might have issues with that.
I found myself a nice boy who had to get a medical discharge from the Army for asthma. Best of both worlds. He can never up and leave me, he's here all the time, and I love him like mad. If you can take the "real" military world, then you don't have to search out that kind of alternative. Of course, I didn't mean him to be like an alternative ... it just worked out that way
I don't recommend anybody taking on military relationships. I've jacked up enough of them myself and been jerked around by too many to recommend them, but everybody's gotta do what they want to do at the end of the day.

[snuffie]

I don't have any issues with the army, just I know that is is unorganized and unpredictable, which was a problem in my last relationship just getting messed around, I am not insecure being on my own I like it most of the time it's just the sudden changes which got to me, not knowing where I stand ect! and I think now that my ex OH couldn't cope with the thought of upsetting me and wondering how I would cope it was something he couldn't do, he hadn't had a serious relationship while in the regular army, he did while in the TA and at sandhurst, so this was new to him too.

I think like Little I am drawn to the personalities of military men and the qualities that they hold or that they draw out of them. I just didin't realise what I had done till I thought about it, I never though I pigeon holed men like that! I think my dislike of the unpredictability was worsened by the amount of changes in my life at the moment, finishing my degree, qualifiying looking for a job and looking for an area for me to work in, looking for somewhere to live and problems at home. Once im more stable I think I could cope better.

Im asking for trouble espeacially as I've just signed up to the territorial army, for when I qualify as a nurse!