[jns]

The situation is so tricky. And the more we, women try to understand men, the harder it gets.

It's equally tough from the man's side. Still trying, though.

[caterpillar79]

It's equally tough from the man's side. Still trying, though.

True. Last night, I stumbled upon two separate books by the same author : The Male Brain, and The Female Brain by Louann Brizendine. I am debating to whether buy both copies or not.

[Empressaluv]

my boyfriend and i have spoke about this and all he has to say about it is not fear and live in the moment, even though i'm older he is more mature, its just that i know what i want and i'm not sure if he knows what he want, i just graduated from college in December and he will next may, so i guess i was trynna have a plan, it doesn't help that some of my friends are getting married this year too, maybe that has am influence on me as well

[caterpillar79]

Exactly! Don't be anxious of what is yet to happen, or else you'll miss what THIS DAY has to offer you.

Keep your mind busy with things at hand - you just graduated, find a job, go to a gym and get fit, find a hobby to enjoy, get a small calendar - find some symposiums/trainings/seminars that would help you on your future career - list the dates in your calendar and attend those that you can. Focus on your life NOW, and not of things which are inconceivable as of yet.

Everything will fall into place when you are ready. Let him find himself at his own pace as well. Pressuring him, asking him when he's going to be ready won't do you any good.

I don't blame you though...when I had "it" I asked him what he wants and he answered "I don't know" - it shattered my heart...we were not in the same page. When I decided to cut communications, I told myself to find a man who is in the same page as I am. I was then ready to commit, fortunately, he manned up and realized...he's ready...we were in the same page...I was ready - so was he...it's meant to be.

Give it time, dear. All relationships need time to grow. There are a lot of things that can happen in a span of 1, 2 , 3 months, more so a year. Don't waste your time worrying about your future. Enjoy your love for each other NOW. Be here in the present...Zen.

[LanaBear]

I agree with Cat. Unless you are ready to do those things right here, right now, don't worry about how you or him may feel in 3-4 years. Those feelings, that you feel, right now, may change in 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months and probably 3 years.

Let him find his way, don't tell him what he may think and feel in three years. It's not fair to you and definitely not fair to him. Be happy with what you have here and now!

[JadedQueen]

I say go with the flow.... it's not like your biological click is running out of time, you are young you both are and you should just enjoy being together and being in a relationship with each other and all that it brings. Regardless of what people say (I'm going to get married when I am this age and have kids when I am that age) that is just completely unrealistic to be honest... you don't know when you are going to fall in love with that special someone....and when you fall in love and decide to get married planning a family if that is what you want just has a way of working itself out so my advice is just live in the moment and go with the flow, things will work out the way they are supposed to, stop stressing and enjoy what life has in store for you.

If the age difference has you concerned.... I am in a relationship with a younger guy....(he's 5yrs younger than me) but to see us together you wouldn't know it because we just fit together and it's meant to be. We have been together for 5 years and to be honest I know he is the man that I am meant to spend the rest of my life with.