[holetoledo]

My boyfriend's friend wants to visit him and he feels weird about it because he used to have a thing for her. He's been talking about her a lot and while I appreciate his honesty about how he felt about her two years ago, it's beginning to make me feel hurt and insecure. I'm not very good at communicating my feelings to him, which is weird because I'm communicating my feelings to you guys.. Would it be hurtful to tell him that I'm worried about her coming here, too? I'm just so neurotic and keep thinking about all the possibilities, and none of the ones I'm thinking of are good.

[Mes T]

Write him a letter, as if you were writing a detailed post on a forum, and then read it to him. Great way for us non-communicators to be able to say exactly what we want.

I too would not be happy about this, especially since he himself feels weird about it.

[holetoledo]

Thank you. I can be such an emotional mess sometimes. I'm shaking just thinking about what I should say to him.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I wouldn't mind, as long as he met "both of us", then there are no issues

I like the idea of the letter as well, but you could simply state, well sweet, that's great, so when do I get to meet her, when is she turning up to see us?

It throws it into his court...

[WildChild]

Here's the deal, if he had a crush on her and feels "weird" about her, isn't it better for him to find out what he really feels? If the two of you are going to a chance at anything that lasts, he needs to know. And so do you. Yes, it may change your relationship but believe me it's better to find out sooner rather than later.

[holetoledo]

Thanks, guys, for your input. I finally talked to him and he said I have nothing to worry about. He said he just feels uncomfortable hanging out with someone he used to like; he stated that she was so much smarter than him and it made him feel like an imbecile and she actually made him want to work harder and he liked that sort of thing. I think he more admires her intellect now than anything else.

And he's going to talk to her about his discomfort and politely decline her visit.