[abc123!!]

Your right that I should move on but for some reason I feel like this is a unique situation. I do not feel that we are bad for each I just feel like at this point in our lives its may not be the right thing with so much going on so I do not know whether I should stick around or just break it off for time being and try again at a later date. I will work on getting those 33 posts in then I will be sure to send a message haha. I appreciate the help.

[samanthatallon]

I hope everything works out for you, I have my fingers crossed either way.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

It's very difficult to change someone's low self esteme issues, they have to "want" to change.

And, worrying, all the time about everything, tell her to take 3 deep breaths instead each time she contemplates on worrying. Worrying doesn't solve anything, it makes things worse. It brings everything into a "negative zone"...

She has to change the worry to the "can do" approach, "pfttt" approach, "it will happen" approach She has to start to think positive and in that, she will gain as well, more strength, inner strength of herself.

If's she's overwhelmed then it's the worrying that is doing it, so also it may be good to suggest "time management" to her, sit down and work out all the things she has to do daily in general, and work out a plan of attack, on paper and follow that diary, plan....

As for what else you can do? Nothing... You'd be adding to it but letting her know your constantly worried yourself on how to fix it.

If you think it's worth a little more time, to see. Then try the above... she has to do this for herself, take "space" for yourself, do things for yourself, this isn't all about one person remember, there are two here. You can lead a Donkey to water but you can't make it drink.

CW

[abc123!!]

Just a random question. Can it be bad to compliment a woman too much or be too nice? I find alot of times I joke around, tease, and what not but tend to shy away from it and become TOO nice when I start to fall in love.

[sourpuss]

If she decided that she liked you when you were joking around and teasing, it's probably something that attracted her to you in the first place. As long as there's a balance between the teasing and the complimenting, I think that's good. All one or the other is never all that great.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

So is it you who is worrying then? Is she overwhelmed by your attention and that's why your giving her space?

We can tend to think that a person is "clingy" if they are "in our face" all the time. It's definately great to feel loved, texted, wanted, bit it's nice to have a slight doubt every now and then, to keep you on your toes...

[abc123!!]

I will be moving to another state shortly (military) so she doesnt know if she wants to move out there with me. She thinks she is going to lose me when I move away and thinks our relationship is going to "fade" not because one of us will give up but rather because we will grow apart which I will not let happen. She is worrying alot and I think that is giving her a negative attitude. When she talks she makes it sound like there is no hope. So naturally I do have some minor worries from time to time. But I have confidence that it will work but its just so hard when the other half is feeling sad all the time. Thats why I dont know if too much reassuring is being smothering or am I not giving her enough? Im finding it hard to have a good balance based on her reactions.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I see

Well, she has to open up and "talk" to you... really talk to you, so that you know her inside out and her you.

She needs to confirm her love for you, and she needs to see what positives are there if she moves there with you. As for fading, yes you'll be away, that's a fear of hers, lonliness but tell her if she loves you she won't be lonley because you'll always be there in her heart and it's you she wants to spend her life with huh.... Remind her of the letters, the emails and that it's not forever and that you couldn't even imagine spending 1 minute ever, with anyone else, she's the one.

Paint her a picture of the future, seems she doesn't have much visualisation and therefore has fear.

CW

[abc123!!]

so the other day we were talking and texting and she was saying she cared about me alot, couldnt live life without me, needed me in her life, and she just wants to be aorund me and have fun but she also said she feels like all we have been doing lately is struggling to have fun. She doesnt know what to change to make the romantic part better and she is tired of getting worked up about our relationship and she doesnt have time to stress about it. She said she feels like things with life are getting in the way and she may have doubts about our relationship. She said it feels like we have turned into an old married couple and its beginning to feel like its a burden. She says things like she feels life is getting in the way and she says she knows I care and she cares she says she feels like something is missing. She said she cant live without me but something is off and no matter what she does its going to stay the same or get worse. She said we need to chill and no be so serious. She said she is so stressed about life and it is keeping her from falling in love with me

Im just confused by all of this .. I need to take a step back.

[abc123!!]

Any thoughts on why she is saying these things?