Okay, so for the last three months I have been seeing this guy, I'll call him Steven. What I know from him is that he just got out of a relationship four or five months ago. They were together for a year and were quite serious, living together for ten out of the twelve months they were together. Now for the past three months we have been seeing each other, non-exclusively. But here lately, maybe for the last month or so, it's been more serious. He knows I like him a lot. And he says he likes me a lot. He even says I'm the only girl he really wants to be with. We've been on this agreement to kind of leave things the way they are, and to not take things to the relationship level because things are going fine the way they are. I work two jobs and go to school, so I have been saying that I don't have time for a relationship. Not anymore. Now I am willing to have a relationship with him and throw all excuses out the window. And he knows this, but still does not want to take it to that level.
On nights when we hang out, sometimes he will put off these bad vibes. I feel sometimes like maybe he would rather be somewhere else, or maybe even wishes I wasn't around. He'll remain distant and not give me the attention that I'm used to getting from him. He'll go outside or on stage or sit away from me. This is where I start telling my brain to shut up because I think that maybe I am just being too insecure about myself or I'm thinking too hard about it, or I sometimes think I might be being selfish for wanting so much of his attention. But even when I try to shrug off the negative feelings and thoughts about why he is acting the way he is, I still can't seem to shake it, and I feel like it's best to leave. I usually end up in a slightly bad mood on the exterior, but inside of me I feel like crying.
Anyway. The question is, does he feel the same way about me that I feel about him? He says all the same things I do (I'm the only girl he wants to see and that he likes me a lot) but he still doesn't want a relationship. Should I give him time? What do you think would make him say those things but not want a relationship? And what do you think would make him act distant? I definitely don't want to do anything that could put our relationship to end, even if we aren't together yet. Please help me out here I want the most out of this guy, and I would love to see myself in a long-term relationship with him.
On nights when we hang out, sometimes he will put off these bad vibes. I feel sometimes like maybe he would rather be somewhere else, or maybe even wishes I wasn't around. He'll remain distant and not give me the attention that I'm used to getting from him. He'll go outside or on stage or sit away from me. This is where I start telling my brain to shut up because I think that maybe I am just being too insecure about myself or I'm thinking too hard about it, or I sometimes think I might be being selfish for wanting so much of his attention. But even when I try to shrug off the negative feelings and thoughts about why he is acting the way he is, I still can't seem to shake it, and I feel like it's best to leave. I usually end up in a slightly bad mood on the exterior, but inside of me I feel like crying.
Anyway. The question is, does he feel the same way about me that I feel about him? He says all the same things I do (I'm the only girl he wants to see and that he likes me a lot) but he still doesn't want a relationship. Should I give him time? What do you think would make him say those things but not want a relationship? And what do you think would make him act distant? I definitely don't want to do anything that could put our relationship to end, even if we aren't together yet. Please help me out here I want the most out of this guy, and I would love to see myself in a long-term relationship with him.
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