[FindingSelf22]

Quiet to say, it has been only couple of months since my six year relationship ended. Things have been tough on my end. Just about every day seems unbearable to face. So many memories of things said and shared together to easily forget in just couple of months. My ex seems to be doing fine. Actually waaaayyyy FINE TO SAY since he has a new girlfriend. Not to mention it kills me deep inside. My friends are advising me to get back in the dating field but I am not so sure what to or if I am ready. Only because I have my walls up because I am really scared of getting hurt again since my first wound has yet to get smaller. With each passing day, that wound seems to get bigger and bigger. I know I want to have that special feelings and what not I use to have with my ex but I am so unsure. When is it the right time to get back in the dating field again and is it wise for someone like me after being in my first relationship for that long?

[Mes T]

I think now is NOTTT the time to get back into dating. I mean 2 months in most cases is simply not enough to fully move past the end of a serious relationship, and it sounds like right now you're in no shape to date again. If you date now, the new guy will end up only being a "rebound," impossible to have a proper relationship with. You'll spend your time comparing him to your ex, putting the new guy on a pedestal and being heart broken when he can't live up to your increased expectations, you'll repeat the exact same mistakes with this guy that you did with your ex...

You must heal completely before moving on to someone else. You owe that to yourself and to the new man who will be in your life someday.

Rule of thumb in terms of relationships: Make a happy life for yourself on your own, and THEN find someone to share it with.

[snuffie]

From recent personal experience, I would say certainly do NOT jump back in to the the dating pool, those are shark infested waters when your heart, head and soul are still so fragile. Yes the confidence boost would be great in the short period but I have found you have to give yourself time to heal, to figure out "what the just happened to me", "why" and "what do I want from my life" and be happy in your own skin and life. Im not saying I have figured all those things out in five months but im a lot closer to knowing now and happier. Throwing yourself out there could make you more insecure, make you question yourself, your qualities in a negative way.
Before dating you need to know your happy being on your own, because if you don't know this you will cling to men and relationship as they make you whole. You need to know your worth and what fantastic qualities you have and will give to another person.

[saraor]

You are going to get hurt again, thats just how it is, but the good times in between are worth it, and one day it will last. Get back into the dating field once you feel comfortable again to do so.

[BasketCase]

Sweetie if you are unsure then you are not ready... But that said that doesn't mean you can't have a good time. Go out with girlfriends or alone if you are brave enough. After a six year relationship you need time to find yourself again. Before you can even think about dating again you need to know that you can be happy alone. Spend sometime really getting to know yourself and having fun and before you know it your ex will be a distant memory. Then you will be ready to date again. The other girls prob said it better but I hope I helped a little.

[WildChild]

You've gotten a chorus of good advice. I can't add much to it. You take all the time you need. Get out and have some fun with friends and don't worry about dating for now, when the time is right you will find yourself noticing and responding to men just naturally.