[dadsgurl]

Hello. This is my first post here. Let me just give some background information. My boyfriend and I have been together 5 years. We have been thru alot together (I lost my brother and father within 6 months) and he was there for me both times. Then, we hit a rocky road and I pushed him away due to me falling into a depression. He started to drift away but after about 3 months we were able to get things back to a semi-norm. When my boyfriend hangs with his brother he acts like a different person. He drinks and just isnt the same guy. Well, this weekend he went to a birthday party for a friend and didnt call me the entire day. I could have called but I thought I would give him that space to hang with his brother since they work different hours and then go to this get-together. We see each other almost every weekend (we are in a long distance situation of about two hours) and I was pretty okay with us not seeing each other this weekend since I had to work and he had this get-together plus another family members bday the next day. I guess my problem is that when he is around his brother he didnt call me. I didnt know if he would or not but we do normally talk when we dont see each other. It is just a day I understand. I talked about it to my mother like i always do (which might not be the best thing to pull her in) and she asked me if he had called me yet. (He didnt call Saturday and havent heard anything so far and it is early Sunday). I told her no he hasnt. Well, now I am feeling bad and insecure and I dont know if I should blast him when I do hear from him or just be understanding and give him that space. I just know he calls everyday a few times a day. Should I be upset or let this one go? Should I even mention the lack of call? Saturday was his friends get-together for a bday and sunday is my boyfriends family members bday. I know if i ask family they will tell me i should be upset.

[GetTheDudeDotCom]

My gut feel on this one is that you should give him the space. If you "blast" him he might be resentful of that. If you're feeling fearful from this short time of not calling, what are you really afraid of happening? Are you afraid he's going to leave you if you don't get a reassuring phone call at regular intervals? I would get in touch with what you're really afraid of in order to know what to do in this situation. Don't react to your fear without some clarity around it.

[WildChild]

Find something fun to do. He's all grown up and can take care of himself and so can you. If after 5 years you aren't sure you can trust him then you need to concerned about more than whis weekend. Relax.

[hizenberg]

yeah i agree,maybe give him some space, he could also be hungover and still in bed lol I say maybe let it go,and when you do see/talk to him just slip it in their that you were wondering why he hadnt called and when he says or if he says why just tell him that you love him and if hes got brains he'll see it as you saying' listen hear punk, call me regulary or ima go off' lol lol sorry goodluck (to him,if hes still in trouble)!!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I just know he calls everyday a few times a day. Should I be upset or let this one go? Should I even mention the lack of call?

Sweetheart... Losing your brother and father, in 6 months... This would have to be hard for you, so hard... I'm so sorry... Off course what you need here, now, is someone there all the time, to help you cope through all of this.

But, you know? We can't "expect" it to be that way.... Can you imagine the love and heart he has put in and tried You know he's going to have to find a way to release, as well... He's been there for you..But it's hard work too sweetheart..

Understand, it's hard for all concerned, sometimes any person needs space, time out, let their hair down, he's been there for you, with you and needs sometimes, "me time"...

Please understand that, I know you need someone there for you now, but they need a bit of time away as well, as you do...


Listen to your heart....
CW