[kristalyn_04]

So I started casually seeing this guy I met on a dating site a few weeks ago, just as friends for the time being. I told him about my recent heartbreak concerning my close friend (not on our first meeting but when I felt comfortable telling him), and that I wasn't ready for anything serious yet as I'm still trying to get over my friend. He is totally fine with that, and still wants to see me. In fact, he made me an offer... to be a "friend with benefits". I must say, the offer is very tempting, I haven't been with anyone in over 5 years... which imo is way too long to go without sex, and I do like this guy.

What do you all think? Would it be ok to accept his offer, knowing that it is just casual fun without a commitment or any expectations? Thanks for your opinions.

[LanaBear]

If that's what you want, go for it. I personally have never seen any problem with FWB's scenarios. As long as you are not looking for anything more in the relationship. The moment that switch flips and you start wanting more, you need to pull back and have a talk. But if you are going into it with the sole intentions of having some fun, with a guy you get along with, more power to you. I had plenty in the past, but I wasn't wanting a relationship, so it worked for me.

[Ashlee T.]

My personal opinion is that you're too vulnerable at this point for a FWB relationship. I think you will become emotionally connected, and you will very likely end up hurt. Once you take it to a FWB level, it's very hard for it to ever be anything more than that. And the fact that he offered himself up that quick.... nah....I'd steer clear if it were me.

[kristalyn_04]

Ugh... this is what I was afraid of... mixed messages. I'm getting the same from my friends.

BD, it isn't really that quick for me, we've been spending a lot of time together over the last couple of weeks, just talking and getting to know each other. Our "dates" usually last about 5 hours or more. He was actually very understanding of my situation and concerned about me getting hurt again. We talked this over, neither of us have any expectation of things going further than this. And if it does start going in that direction, we agreed to talk about it. We're both adults, we can handle that, right?

Seriously, I just want to get laid... why does it have to be so complicated?

[Ashlee T.]

You're a big girl. If its what you want, then I'm sure you can handle it. I was just giving you my opinion.

[kristalyn_04]

thank you girls, much appreciated. I obviously have some more thinking to do.

[p3375]

For what it's worth, I'd go for it. As long as both of you understand and communicate with each other, why not?
Pat

[kristalyn_04]

Thanks P, that was my thought too.

[lonestar]

The FWB's thing only works if you two communicate and have very clear boundaries. Otherwise, you will only get hurt again. Be sure before you commit to this open relationship that if he hooks up with someone else, you can't get upset. Those are the strings attached... and that is the one reason these things don't end up working and actually hurting the relationship.
If you want things to work out with this guy, I say keep doing what you're doing and go buy a vibrating friend.

[kristalyn_04]

lonestar– we have been communicating extensively about this since he offered. He did bring up whether or not we should be exclusive. I said I was ok with being non-exclusive, and I am. I have no reason to get jealous and neither does he, we are not in a relationship, although we are in a sense "dating". The only concern we both have with that is playing it safe, neither of us want to catch anything and pass it along to each other, and I don't want to wind up pregnant. It will take a lot of trust between us that we will be safe about it. Honestly I don't plan on sleeping around, I just don't want to be tied down right now. I think things will be fine as long as we keep the doors of communication open, as we have been.

Thanks everyone for your input... I have made my decision and I'm going for it. It's some much needed and much overdue FUN, that's all.