[sarahlee20]

well for those who has read my posts recently. It has now been about a month and things had been going great until recently When I was at his house and his mom and him ot into in argument. I didn't think anything of it untill On the way home he hadtold me when he was in his teens his mom and him got into an argument and he ended up shoving her down a step then caught her. Although he has never been violet or impatient with me, this scares me. I have been trying to get over it because i felt so much for him before now I am not so sure about it. He is also has police authority. I was scared for awhile and at the time of this happening i started txting with my ex that i have known for six and a half years now. I hadn't talked to him for so long till he txtd me one night. So we lately have been caming and txting. Now being he showed himself on cam to me and i didn't resist and was attracted and wanted to look yet it didn't mean anything to either of us. Would that be considered cheating??? I have been feeling kinda guilty for it. I mean the person i am seeing i believe is a good guy which is why i feel guilty. The reason I think i feel i have to have so many guys in my life or always dating is because I am afraid of being alone also my moms not around most of the time. Which also causes me great sadness. Should i tell him and be on my own or? advice please? Thanks

[lizzardb63]

It sounds to me that you don't want to be with the first guy because you're afraid of his temper, but you only want to be with him because of previous feelings. Those feelings don't seem to be as strong anymore. Next, yes it is wrong to be texting and taking pictures with your ex. That I would consider is cheating. I think the best advice would be to set yourself free. You shouldn't ever have any doubt about your lover. It's a sign how he treats his mother. Its how he will treat you over time.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

sarah, ...

It's good that he told you the truth... But, he's still trying to get himself out of trouble, he does have some anger issues, if he has a police authority as well...

You and your ex, got on well, but it wasn't for you once you realised where it was heading, this guy is only new, 1 month, it's not love, as you said, you hate being alone and so you get into relationships..

Why is your Mum not around much?

I wouldn't tell that your ex exposed himself, you've seen him before, and it was just you two being the old you in a way, but I wouldn't look again, because, your in a relationship now...

But, I also question the relationship a little... What is the police authority?

[kygirl]

Sarah,

Only you can decide. I mean, that is a hard question that I think we all ask ourselves at times. It's hard being alone sometimes. You have to face your issues, do things on your own sometimes, and sometimes that can be scary...BUT I think it might be good for you. I'm not saying to stay alone forever, but it sounds like maybe you aren't that into the guy you are seeing and now you're a bit scared of his temper as well. You obviously had issues with the ex that made you think it wouldn't work so you that's why you are no longer together.

If you really want to find something longterm again, you have to both let the ex go and also give yourself time to find someone you are truly compatible with. It's hard. I mean, I've done it several times...but it's a necessity.

If you decide you want to stay with your new guy, you definitely need to stop camming with your ex and also keep the texting friendly ONLY. Obviously you have a history and you don't want to start walking that line. Just don't do it.

But I still think that if you take some time to yourself for a bit, it'd be wise and allow you to really view what you want and need for yourself before you're in another relationship. Then, you have to stick to it. You deserve to be happy and to have love. It is hard sometimes though to find someone who fits into the box instead of trying to make someone fit. Big difference.

[sarahlee20]

Thanks all for the advice. I never told him and I don't want to. Since the accident I actually cried and felt bad and haven't talked to my ex since. However, I have also been talking to a guy i know from online for about a year. We have been talking too. NOthing like what happened between my ex and i. Although with this guy i have these thoughts and feelings. I think the reason I did that with my ex is that i feel smothered and he isn't what i thought. I also took back that i loved him.the guy i am still seeing we're just dating and not offical.When the accident accoured we weren't exclusive either. With how i feel and he's been lately like short tempered constantly calls and wants to be on the phone every second. Constantly txts too. It really drives me crazy sometimes. Now it seems that he doesn't even want to be romantic with me. whatever he feels about work or family or whatever he takes it out on me as he gets additude doesn't really talk to me etc.. He also tells me that if i broke it off in dating him he wouldn't date again. I can't stand how he acts. When i first met him and we'd go out he wouldn't behave like that. The night he told me about him shoving his mom like i discribed when he was younger, it seemed like alot of things changed forever. I don't know I think i just want to be friends and see what happenes and be on my own for awhile. The reason my mom isn't home all that much is because she got married and kinda goes back and forth between houses. She also has her husbands kid with her too. So i don't know in a way i feel replaced.That is the reason why i am so sad most of the time. I am trying to get used to it.